Get yourself a jackass with a weak gut and a strong nose and you'll be paying by quarter.

Anti-semitism is when anti-israel

Had to be fast. She doesn't like her picture taken

Vinyl player

She looks like my Bernice

I say this to my dog multiple times a day

This is genuinely crazy. It hasn't been this bad before. I can't imagine why it's actually like at the source.

What hormones do you have to take for that?

Just found out dippin' dots require colder storage than human plasma

It's been almost a decade and this is still true. They still haven't learned.

Like, sure they might be but..

Why are they all like that?

My dog's lucky she's just a little baby. I tell her this every night.

Spoiled Bernice with a short walk today. I really need to more she really enjoyed it and it's tuckered her out

When did the dangerous nature of the great lakes in November become forgotten knowledge? Someone should write a popular song about it to cement it in our popular culture.

Probably over cooking it. Happened to me a few years ago because the temp setting on my cooker was wrong. Looks awful but was actually juicy and tender. 8/10 overall

Bernie's buttering me up for some turkey

It was mostly able to reverse the perspective of that original photo. This is simultaneously amazing and horrifying