Devastated Millennial
@reluctantposter
No longer confused, just miserable in realizing the media literacy lessons from college were predictions of our present disaster. 🏳️🌈 PhD 🌱 Most posts are progressive social commentary blended with humor and sarcasm as a coping mechanism.
What. Why. I spoke with a crumbl employee last week who looked on the brink of tears at 10am on a weekday. Now there are savory cookies, with a raw lime wedge on top during a cyclospora outbreak?
I don't want to go out in the heat, I want to eat pizza and complain
It always feels presumptuous to surround a tiny plant with an extra large vegetable cage, but by the time the plant has shown it’s true potential, it’s too big to wrestle into a vegetable cage
Only you can dump a beer on this guy and get away with him believing it was an accident.
Summer colds are the worst because if my nose isn't running, I'm sweating buckets in the heat. There's zero minute for normalcy, just dripping fluids.
My friends' updates in the group chat: -My car was hit -I got a promotion -My kid was hospitalized -I'm going parasailing -My house caught fire My updates in the group chat: -In a twist worthy of Shakespeare or sir Conan Doyle, I prefer taro chips to sweet potato chips in a root vegetable chip mix
PSA: I used this on my feet for less than a month and my skin got so puffy and fucked up I almost scheduled an appointment with a dermatologist and podiatrist. The day after I stopped using it, my skin was normal again.
The most impressive thing about this movie was realizing Courtney Cox and Christina Pickles are in it.
dinner will be buttered bread, because i'm just done with today
Microsoft Rewards, stop trying to make passkey happen, its not going to happen.
The question isn't can I make fried rice with wild rice, the question is should I make fried rice with wild rice?
So, I made a post with the word "vegan" in it, in reference to a recipe, and five "I believe animals are as important as people" bot accounts like it and followed me. 🤦
Am I about to make chocolate cookies with off brand m&ms inside?
A tiny bit of cheese on a quesadilla does nothing. Can't taste it, can't feel it, can't enjoy it. Over do it on the cheese and stop hating yourself.
This week calls for a dozen bagels and all the cheese I can't handle
Overcooked peppers and onions, jack cheese, and hot sauce in a quesadilla
So is chocolate just going to go extinct or will the chocolate market collapse or will we never get chocolate again or will we go back in time where its only available in the climates its grown in and not commercially processed and imported to other lands?
You can buy a package of cookies and a container of frosting and make yourself dunkaroos. There's no law against it. You also don't have to eat the entire combination in one sitting, you can parcel them out to eat at your leisure later on. No law against it.
Going into the desert seems really romantic and meditative until you remember there's no water and lots of creepy crawlies that want to eat you because there's no other food
why don't hobbits keep the ring on a chain around their necks? why do they keep putting it in their pockets and worry they lost it?
Time for bisque mixed with freshly cooked rice for dinner
No, I did not buy a vanilla chai scented candle on sale yesterday and now I regret every life choice that led to that disaster of a decision.
Roast some sweet potatoes. Just throw some sweet potatoes in the oven until they are soft, wait for them to cool slighty, and go to town. Don't even worry about butter or oil or salt or anything for the first bite. Your taste buds and tummy will thank you.