Rory Masterson (@rorymasterson) · DIRTY

Rory Masterson

@rorymasterson

[20 minutes of free-associative monologue]

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Rory Masterson@rorymasterson· Jul 3

The World Cup:

Russell, a dachshund with a big head, stares intently at the camera, without a slight idea that the sponsorships and shirts mean anything at all. He rests in front of a tennis ball.

Rory Masterson@rorymasterson· Jun 14

Wanted to check back in on my preseason predictions, see how they held up. tuesdayswithhorry.com/2025/10/20/a...

Oklahoma City Thunder...:
...nah, actually. No. That's chickenshit. Jalen wouldn't let me get away with that. He's looking up there, and he wants me to say it, but just hang on a minute. The defending champion Thunder - more on them shortly - are an expertly-built squad with a heliocentric offense that continues even when SGA is off the floor. There's no reason to think OKC can't run this right back and win another title.
Ah, except: the rest of the West has strengthened in kind.
Houston's going for broke in an attempt to get KD a title without the Golden State shine. The Timberwolves know they ve got the talent to hang. Denver's reloaded. The LA teams can talk themselves into it. Exactly how good is Wemby now?
As the prosecution previously established, the East playoffs will be no cakewalk, but the West will be a gauntlet. Whatever team makes it out of there will have survived hell, high water and whatever fourth dimensional plasma comes after that, and they'll be feeling it. Aches and pains accumulated over three rounds, in addition to the 82 games leading up to them, may linger.
So, to borrow a mantra from the guy I named my dog after:
Why not? Why not, just this once, lean all the way into it?! never adeportunity before now, and on now tat
will again. Follow the league, follow the paper, see the expansion possibilities and eventual intercontinental cups and all the ya-ya that comes with that because growth is the only way, distilling everything else.
I'm out here on borrowed time anyway, I'm unemployed, and this is my human-written blog, so let's put it in pixelated ink for all the world to see. I can't believe I'm alive and in a position to write this and have it be anywhere near the realm of possibility. This is what I mean. Until it is impossible to believe, however close I get, I have faith. Mark it. Matthew, Luke and John it, too. Put it down there, on its own line:
The New York Knicks are going to win the 2026 NBA Championship.

Rory Masterson@rorymasterson· Jun 6

Once again: it’s the greatest feeling I’ve ever had as a fan of the New York Knicks.

The Empire State Building, lit up gloriously in blue and orange.

Rory Masterson@rorymasterson· May 27

Detective Frank Pembleton of Baltimore PD’s Homicide department, notably originally from New York, is ENRAGED.

Rory Masterson@rorymasterson· May 26

FreeDarko forever.

Jacob Silverstein’s illustration of the 1970s New York Knicks for FreeDarko.

Rory Masterson@rorymasterson· May 20

One of NBC’s funniest shows imo

Detective Frank Pembleton of Baltimore’s Homicide unit looks skeptically at a nun, as he tends to do.

Rory Masterson@rorymasterson· May 10

Det. Frank Pembleton of Baltimore PD’s homicide unit stands matter-of-factly, with his arms out and a smug smile on his face. He seems as satisfied with whatever he’s saying as I am with the New York Knicks.

Rory Masterson@rorymasterson· May 3

Frank Pembleton’s in the box. Joey Mazz ain’t ready.

Rory Masterson@rorymasterson· May 1

Likely a full quarter of garbage time per Cleaning The Glass’s definition incoming for Knicks-Hawks.

BART SCOTT CAN’T WAIT

Rory Masterson@rorymasterson· Apr 24

David Bowie, “Heroes.”

Rory Masterson@rorymasterson· Apr 10

You and yr idiot friends: Saturdays are for the boys, Dimes Square with the girlies, whatever Me and *my* idiot friends:

The P-Funk Mothership, also known as the Holy Mothership, on display at the National Museum of African-American History in Washington, D.C.

Rory Masterson@rorymasterson· Apr 1

Kevin Durant, every time.

A Jameson whiskey ad that reads, “A man who stole my whiskey used the defense that no one could resist a bottle of Jameson. I had no choice but to testify on his behalf.” He was a Brit whom I wouldn’t go to much length to defend except, well—

Rory Masterson@rorymasterson· Mar 16

Basketball LCD Soundsystem is happening tonight.

The Zach Lowe Show, live from Brooklyn Paramount.

Rory Masterson@rorymasterson· Mar 11

A woman very skeptically looks out while pulling her facemask down, as if to say, "Huh??"

Rory Masterson@rorymasterson· Feb 2

Jury duty.

A jury duty summons, along with soccer referee cards, which seem necessary under the circumstances.

Rory Masterson@rorymasterson· Jan 23

Russell doesn’t do the burrito himself yet, but we’re working on it.

You already know: hey! It’s Russell the red dachshund, half-wrapped in a blanket.

Rory Masterson@rorymasterson· Jan 12

Marty McFly is in Back To The Future II’s version of 2015.

Rory Masterson@rorymasterson· Jan 10

does anybody need a fridge

Rory Masterson@rorymasterson· Dec 11

Me, anywhere and especially in winter, realizing I forgot the Chapstick:

A section of Edward Steed’s “Ivan The Terrible With Names” cartoon, originally published in the January 5, 2015 issue of The New Yorker.

Rory Masterson@rorymasterson· Dec 7

ANSWER: Bred for burrowing and hunting small game, this dog breed is both “long” and “short.” Q: What is this thing

A dachshund sleeps, in close range.

Rory Masterson@rorymasterson· Nov 13

Now, what’s Nancy Mace’s whole beef with the Epstein files?

Jiminy Glick, merely asking a question

Rory Masterson@rorymasterson· Nov 9

When AMC takes a special moment to thank investors before making a pitch for financially unviable movie packages:

Nicole Kidman in that “magic of cinema” ad, which, again: was an ad.

Rory Masterson@rorymasterson· Nov 2

Here’s the thing: no it isn’t.

A Yahoo! Sports headline reads: “MUST-WIN FOR KNICKS”

Rory Masterson@rorymasterson· Oct 31

Three Power Rangers and one (1) Chewbacca.

LeBron James tweets: “Stop trying to find a way to FIT-OUT and just FIT-IN. Be apart of something special! Just my thoughts” on February 7th, 2015.

Rory Masterson@rorymasterson· Oct 22

Now here’s a guy who knows about demo.

It’s Diedrich Bader as Lawrence, Peter’s next door neighbor, in the seminal 1999 film OFFICE SPACE. At this point, Peter and Lawrence are contracted to clean up the Initech building following a mysterious fire.

Rory Masterson@rorymasterson· Oct 22

This guy is ready for some Knicks basketball.

Russell, a red and black long haired dachshund wearing a New York Knicks handkerchief, looks at the camera, pensively. He saw today’s injury report.

Rory Masterson@rorymasterson· Oct 5

Football? Sounds like a great time.

Russell the dachshund stands lording over a soccer ball he snatched from some other dog during Pool Day at the dog park. Pool: not pictured.

Rory Masterson@rorymasterson· Oct 3

Welp, I guess that's that.

"Psilocybin doesn't help depression in pregnant rats"

Rory Masterson@rorymasterson· Sep 27

For the very first time: under the KC Bridge.

Going to see Johnny Marr’s a whole thing, innit.

Rory Masterson@rorymasterson· Sep 5

“Scenes From An Italian Roastery”

The relevant part of a cafe sign reads: “COFFEE TO GO; COFFEE TO STAY”