My decades long partner-in-weird @coolzey.bsky.social & I are working on a sick new album AND gearing up for a fall tour... *BACK THE KICKSTARTER: www.kickstarter.com/projects/coo... *TOUR DATES & TIX: schafferthedarklord.com/tour/index.h...

Before my dear homie @coolzey.bsky.social and I hit the road this fall for the "Blood Van Tour," we're releasing a collaborative album called "Blood Van," which will feature both rap duets and drums/guitar rock band tracks. Please support our fundraiser. THANK. www.kickstarter.com/projects/coo...

Sat. June 13, 2026 @ 8pm EST: Join @mclars.bsky.social & me for Villains in the Feed, a live streaming nerdcore concert in celebration of our favorite bad guys. MC Snax opens. VIP tix with exclusive perks available now: lars-and-schaffer.square.site

I’ve been obsessed with Darth Vader since age 3. Come watch me explore his lore and perform a lot of nerdcore rap songs when I team up with @mclars.bsky.social & MC Snax for Villains in the Feed, streaming live on Sat June 13th. Tix: lars-and-schaffer.square.site

Sat June 13: @mclars.bsky.social & I present “Villains in the Feed,” a live stream concert exploring lore behind beloved baddies. Lars will examine antagonists of Edgar Allen Poe & I will deep dive into Darth Vader. MC Snax opens. VIP tix w/exclusive perks available: lars-and-schaffer.square.site

If you've ever liked my song "Supervillain" from my 2007 album "Mark of the Beast," you're gonna love its all-new modern update. New beat. New vocal performance. New aggression. Mixed by Vince Vandal. Available exclusively on Patreon: patreon.com/c/schafferth... Root for the bad guys.

Happy Star Wars Day! Have you been watching my youtube series about vintage Kenner Star Wars toy collecting? Because if not...I find your lack of "likes and subscribes" disturbing. Peep that nerdy business: www.youtube.com/user/schaffe...

Hey, friends! My big-ass merch sale continues! More items are being added! But don't delay, because this sale will end in May! GET THAT STUFF WHILE YOU CAN! schaffer-the-darklord.myshopify.com

My apartment is getting crowded, and I need some money, so...I'm having a big-ass merch sale! Tees, hats, posters, CDs, memorabilia & more! This sale could last a week or a month. I don't know. I'm impulsive. Buy some stuff while it's cheap. THANK. schaffer-the-darklord.myshopify.com

March 2026 Patreon content is up, and it's a doozy! Got a SICK new Department of Darkness banger called "Guillotine" w/lyrics/remix kit/behind-the-scenes video. Plus I've got a spot-on cover of House of Pain's "Jump Around" AND MORE! Sign up today: patreon.com/c/schafferth...

SATURDAY MAY 16th, 2026! Rabbit Hole Productions returns to Littlefield in Brooklyn, NY with TASSELMANIA 8 and all the episodic burlesque/drag/nightlife "combat entertainment" action you've come to expect! Tickets on sale now: www.eventbrite.com/e/rabbit-hol...

HEY, ROCHESTER! Today is @lextheconartist.bsky.social bday & tix for our matinee show at Bug Jar on Sat 6/27 JUST went on sale, so...DO IT! Friends in Columbus, Pittsburgh, NYC, Philly & Baltimore: tix for our tour w/Master Hand on sale too! DO THAT ALSO! schafferthedarklord.com/tour/index.h...

This is the cover art for my new Patreon song about traveling back in time to 2015 in hopes of stopping…all of this. Can you find all the references to 2015 in this image? (This month’s content also includes a cover of Mega Ran’s “Infinite Lives,” released in 2015.) www.patreon.com/c/schafferth...

SATURDAY MAY 16th, 2026! Rabbit Hole Productions returns to Littlefield in Brooklyn, NY for TASSELMANIA 8! Your favorite episodic, burlesque/drag/nightlife combat entertainment event is back! Tix on sale now: littlefieldnyc.com/event/?wfea_...

MAGA’s devotion to groupthink means millions of fools now have to pretend to like Kid Rock. I remember when Americans were in agreement that his music was dog shit, but now old boot-licking bigots are hearing “Cool Daddy Cool” while choking out the words “oh, yeah, man. This is great. Woo.”

Jan 2026 Patreon content is up! This month includes new track “Remember Me?” w/lyrics & remix kit, STD SHW ep69, bonus Snoop Dogg cover, bonus drum video of “Don’t You Forget About Me” & more! This is an excellent time to sign up @ Patreon.com/schafferthedarklord Thank you, friends.

Don’t (stop) tread(ing) on me (Daddy)!

Saturday May 16th, 2026: The greatest episodic wrestling-themed burlesque/drag nightlife event of all time returns to Brooklyn. Mark your calendars. Rest your voices. TasselMania is back! #TM8

With just 1 week left 'til Xmas, I've got something to help you survive the Whamageddon homestretch. "Holiday Favorites for the Whole Family" collects 6 of my seasonal songs (plus 2 unreleased tracks) in one convenient playlist to terrorize your family. schafferthedarklord.bandcamp.com

Junk Drawer Part 4 is here! This latest installment in my series of b-side compilations includes 17 previously unreleased original tracks & cover songs. ALSO! Today is Bandcamp Friday, so please download this sexy collection now. Thank you, friends. schafferthedarklord.bandcamp.com/album/junk-d...

Happy birthday, @mc.frontalot.com! I'm gonna mail you all the Star Wars toys I stole from your mom's house.

Over the years, I've released 3 albums in a series called "Junk Drawer." These Bandcamp exclusives are collections of unreleased tracks: remixes, covers & songs w/samples I can't afford to clear for proper release. On Fri Dec 5th, I will release a 4th one. schafferthedarklord.bandcamp.com

Nov 2025 Patreon content is up! This month includes: new Department of Darkness track "Headphones" w/instro/acapella/lyrics, STD SHW ep68, bonus cover of Beastie Boys' "Professor Booty," photo set of Kenner SW collection updates & more! Sign up today at patreon.com/schafferthedarklord

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November 14th, 2025. Today is my birthday. #schafferday If you'd like to buy me a drink... Venmo: @markschaffer718 PayPal: paypal.me/schafferthedarklord CashApp: $schafferthedarklord Also, please subscribe to my Patreon… www.patreon.com/c/schafferth... Thank you, friends.

My birthday is next Friday November 14th. In the interest of continuing a 14-year tradition, I again humbly ask that you indulge me and celebrate this non-holiday by posting a photo of you wearing something purple on the 14th and tagging it #schafferday Thank you.

This year’s jack-o-lantern pays tribute to the one from the opening shot of my favorite horror movie: Creepshow (1982). 🎃

I’ve done lots of weird stuff this month. (Naturally. It’s Halloween, I’ve been busy with the #Bunnys31DaysofHalloween project, and well, I’m just generally a weird little guy.) But the weirdest thing I’ve done this month is creating a silicone crucifix. Happy Halloween, creeps.

Today is Bandcamp Friday, when the site waives its fees for artists' benefit. I've just dropped an EP of 2 love songs about paranormal beings: Pumpkin + Scary and Naked. Grab them for your Halloween playlists & maybe pick up some other stuff while you're there. schafferthedarklord.bandcamp.com

Sept 2025 Patreon content is up! This month includes new track "Scary and Naked" w/instro/acapella/lyrics, STD SHW episode 66, photo set of #bunnys31daysofhalloween, bonus cover of Misfits' "Hybrid Moments" & more! Sign up today at patreon.com/schafferthedarklord Thank you, friends.