Vira Lillie mental illness

@schwarzefaenge

Medi/Lio, lover of mean lesbians (29, they/he) 💖 @mabaris.bsky.social 💖

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Bluesky

lesbian

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Vira Lillie mental illness@schwarzefaenge· 9d

ugh

Vira Lillie mental illness@schwarzefaenge· 11d

supreme goblin mode

Vira Lillie mental illness@schwarzefaenge· 13d

son hashbrown reveal

Vira Lillie mental illness@schwarzefaenge· 27d

July: No Gods for Drowning - Hailey Piper this book had so much lore! maybe too much of it! this could've been an entire book series and it was just one 387 page book!

Vira Lillie mental illness@schwarzefaenge· Jul 9

game journalists are the most annoying people on the planet

Vira Lillie mental illness@schwarzefaenge· Jul 6

June/July: The God of the Woods - Liz Moore ngl this is the second best one I've read this year only bc nothing can beat Song of the Huntress. I don't wanna discuss it too much bc it's a thriller/mystery so too much info spoils the fun.

Vira Lillie mental illness@schwarzefaenge· Jul 1

I've been clinging to this for 7 years dude it's all I have

Vira Lillie mental illness@schwarzefaenge· Jun 30

what's wrong with you man

Vira Lillie mental illness@schwarzefaenge· Jun 30

hm never seen that notif before

Vira Lillie mental illness@schwarzefaenge· Jun 30

HAPPY PRIDE FROM CYGAMES

Vira Lillie mental illness@schwarzefaenge· Jun 15

the way I play gbf is fucked up and perhaps inefficient. but it works.

Vira Lillie mental illness@schwarzefaenge· Jun 14

kids watching their mom slowly go insane

Vira Lillie mental illness@schwarzefaenge· Jun 12

May/June: When the Angels Left the Old Country - Sacha Lamb This was more YA than I usually go for but it was not in the YA section of the bookstore I got it from so I just went "cool gay angels" and grabbed it.

Vira Lillie mental illness@schwarzefaenge· May 31

my fiancée listening to her Fleetwood Mac vinyl in the living room

Vira Lillie mental illness@schwarzefaenge· May 31

got a cute custom Vira decoden phone case I love it so much 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Vira Lillie mental illness@schwarzefaenge· May 27

this one. Anyway when your dialogue starts reminding me of tails gets trolled you've lost me

did you know that even with seatbelts people die all the time in car crashes? I thought that was interesting

Vira Lillie mental illness@schwarzefaenge· May 27

during this part of the book I literally couldn't stop thinking about the "did you know that even with seatbelts people die all the time in car crashes? I thought that was interesting" panel of tails gets trolled

"Do you ever think about how easily we die?" I ask.
"What on earth are you talking about?" Cora sounds a little
nervous.
"Have I ever told you about my parents' death? We were in a carriage quite like this, and I remember how prettily the sun shone on my mother's hair. I tell people I don't remember the accident, but I do. I remember all of it. I remember being flung about like a flag in the wind - I remember the smell of the cows as they ran on all sides of us, like shit and grass - I remember the shattered glass that sliced through us all, like needles all over my skin - I remember the warm bath of my mother's blood as it ran down my eyelids, stuck my hair to my neck, and clogged under my fingernails. I felt her

body hot and limp, weighing me down. There was so much screaming, but I couldn't make a single sound. I think, in that moment, I was pushed sideways out of the normal world that the rest of you all live in, and I have been trapped here on my own behind a pane of glass in some waking Hell."
I open my eyes and look straight at Cora.
"Do you ever have thoughts like that?"

Vira Lillie mental illness@schwarzefaenge· May 26

May: Hungerstone - Kat Dunn Ehhhh. This wasn't really what I wanted from a Carmilla retelling. The problem as I described it is it's a vampire book that doesn't really want to be a vampire book. Everything is allegory and metaphor.

Vira Lillie mental illness@schwarzefaenge· May 14

THIS IS NEW WHO FUCKING ADDED THIS TO VIRA'S WIKI PAGE LMAO

She has a somewhat absurd rivalry with Lowain, but it's not because she sees him as a potential suiter for Katalina: It's because she's an incredibly competent person in all facets of her life from swordplay to politics, but he and his little entourage still manage to be better cooks than her. And since the vast majority of her experience with them has involved them bumbling around, making very poor decisions, being incredibly noisy, and generally behaving like clowns, she cannot tolerate the idea of him being better than her at anything.

Vira Lillie mental illness@schwarzefaenge· May 14

this is the worst fucking game ever

Vira Lillie mental illness@schwarzefaenge· May 14

April: The Reformatory - Tananarive Due Oof. This was a rough one purely bc of the subject matter. I picked it up bc I was interested in the horror/ghost story aspect but there is a lot of child abuse and child murder going on that is very difficult to read about. You really feel the weight of it.

Vira Lillie mental illness@schwarzefaenge· May 7

I still stand for free speech, I still stand for expression, I'm still pro-kink. I'm also not a system, there is no "slippery slope" to my personal opinions. This is a hard line for me. I don't think it should be illegal (necessarily), I don't think it should be visible, and the fact that so many people seem so intent on making it more visible than ever is concerning to me. I am also always learning, trying to improve.
That said, if someone who has education on this issue wants to debate it sometime, I'd be more than down.

Vira Lillie mental illness@schwarzefaenge· May 7

they posted some clarification in the comments which i wholeheartedly agree with so if anyone ever wants my stance on this shit here you go

Alright, this has been controversial, so let me clear up some things. This was a highlight from a stream recently, I didn't have any "arguments prepared", I was speaking off the cuff, so I think some of my assertions have been misconstrued.
When I say it's 'not art', I understand that it's art by a literal definition. The same can be said of AI art, but I try to hold a higher standard to art and culture. I don't think literally anything can just be arbitrarily called "art", nor should literally anything be defended because it's "art." When I say I don't see it as art, I am saying I, me, personally, refuse to acknowledge it as such. That's a personal opinion, all of this is. (I don't understand how in the left we can all have different beliefs of religion, morality, truth, etc, but can't get past someone having a personal definition of 'art').
If this one issue is enough for you to completely trash me, call me a grifter, say I don't care about survivors, say I'm hurting people with this rhetoric, or any of the other things I've seen said about this video, then you never actually liked me or my content, you never wanted to have any kind of conversation, you just liked that I could be another voice telling you what you want to hear about news stories. That's not why I do anything I do. I'm not interested in echo chambers, and if one issue like this, that doesn't affect anything in your life, is enough to say I'm a reactionary right winger or something, then I hope you're able to move past that.
I've seen people say I "deadnamed" someone and I'm "relying" on Kiwifarms. I don't like or support Kiwifarms, I have spoken against them many many times. However, I can acknowledge also when they are the only ones trying to uncover the truth about an issue that is easily obfuscated by bad faith actors, which is exactly what happened here. I also don't believe I deadnamed anyone, as I was under the impression that a VTuber's name isn't an identity, but an online persona. This cri…

If you watch my streams and content regularly, you'll know that's not true. I always welcome conversation, I'm always willing to educate myself and have my mind changed. I want to thank the people who have commented links and concise arguments that have helped me gain some insight into this topic that I'll admit I hadn't considered.
Onto the criticism I think is slightly more good faith. I understand concerns around censorship and how banning content like this could hypothetically lead to censoring more content. I just think it's silly. There hasn't been any concentrated moral panic in the mainstream about content like this, it's mostly ignored. That hasn't stopped right wing movements trying to ban and censor culture war issues like taking LGBTQ books from libraries. If someone wants to censor something, they don't need an excuse, and I think this "all or nothing" approach is short-sighted and unrealistic.
In the video I address many of the other arguments I keep seeing people assert, like violent video games etc.
But to me, this is actually a very simple bottom line: I don't think any images of explicit sexual content involving children should be acceptable. That's it. If I were to reframe the thesis of this video, I'd say "I don't think any images of explicit sexual content should be acceptable and it's been normalized to the point that thousands automatically defended an actual PDF." Because that is the core of what I'm arguing here, or at least trying to.
I don't even necessarily think it should result in jail, I think it's very much a case-by-case basis that requires a lot more legal nuance, which is why I think debating the core topic by diverting to a thousand unrelated hypotheticals is little more than deflection. I'm talking about *one issue*, I'm not talking about "what about X" and "what if they come for Y".
One thing I should have been more clear on is that I generally don't care what people do in private. If it doesn't hurt anyone and everyone consents…

been incredibly consistent, even defending things I don't like). Seeing people say I'm "anti-kink" or "anti-CNC" is WILD, because this has nothing to do with that. I am not talking in broad terms, in this video I am very obviously and very SPECIFICALLY talking about the exact kind of content that police found. NOT just "cartoons", NOT just "erotic art", but media that is genuinely stomach churning to think about. It's not puritanical to say that normalizing images like this, defending them as "artistic expression" that is as valid as anything else, is bad in general.
In the video, that approach literally led to thousands jumping to the defense of an actual predator before they knew the facts.
That said, ultimately I don't care about content like this if I don't have to see it. I don't think it should exist, I don't think it should be called 'art', and I also don't think it should result in lifelong imprisonment on it's own. All of these things can be true, none of them contradict what I've said. But again, the "all or nothing" approach to this issue seems to be the primary method.
I'm a politics youtuber. I have opinions. I am NOT some arbiter of moral virtue, I am not dictating that everyone needs to live how I see fit, I am giving my opinion on an issue I have intense feelings about. At the end of the day, we can disagree on this, but I have no power to actually change this system or how it works. Even if I thought all content that depicts loli should be "illegal" (I've never said this), it doesn't mean that it will actually happen.
We live in a society ran by pdfs and predators where attitudes like this are continuing to be normalized. I don't see graphic and detailed depictions of children being SAd by animals (which is part of the content the VTuber was arrested for) as the "free speech" hill to die on, I see it as an extension of the very right wing projects that so many are now accusing me of; a method to continue glorifying and fetishizing the subjugation an…

people bring up like games or violent movies.
I have a better understanding now, thanks to some patient commenters, of how victims of CSAM may be able to use this content to find catharsis. I'm not arguing against that. But I also see the inverse, where nazis are just as commonplace in these spaces, who fetishize how helpless and vulnerable "lolis" are. As always, this is a more nuanced discussion and I'll admit that my video doesn't cover this as much as necessary.
I also want to take accountability for referring to Loli as CSAM, as, again after reading materials sent to me, I have a better understanding of how it trivializes victims. That was not my intention at all, and I feel like most people who know me and my content can see that. I can't change the video itself and don't want to be accused of "covering up" something, so I won't take it down, but I will be changing the thumbnail and title to be more accurate.
But the core of my argument is that this content has become so normalized that thousands of people reflexively jumped to the defense of an ACTUALLY DANGEROUS PERSON. This was someone who expressed actual pdf urges and actively fantasized about violating REAL children.
So to see thousands do LITERALLY the same reflexive defense, calling me a "right wing reactionary" and asserting that we basically should never have any standards for media because it could trigger some nebulous, hypothetical censorship purge is disappointing.
I wasn't as eloquent as I could have been, because I was speaking from a place of belief and passion. There are several things I would word and explain differently. I have read a lot of feedback, and fully acknowledge that I didn't take into account the psychiatric use of this content for victims of abuse, and for that I apologize. I want to thank everyone who has engaged respectfully, and provided constructive criticism. I tried something new with posting an entirely opinion-based rant from a stream, and now I know to prepare more bef…

Vira Lillie mental illness@schwarzefaenge· May 4

when there's really strong canonical evidence for a pairing and you're in love with one of those characters, you just have to accept that this is you, forever, with that pairing

Vira Lillie mental illness@schwarzefaenge· May 1

IT'S A STORY ABOUT THE CYCLES OF ABUUUUUUUSE

Vira Lillie mental illness@schwarzefaenge· May 1

March/April: Wuthering Heights - Emily Brontë yes I read this bc of the fuckass movie I kinda wanted to watch it to see how bad it was but I hadn't read the book and did NOT want that being my first experience with the story there's no point in reviewing this it's a classic for a reason

Vira Lillie mental illness@schwarzefaenge· Apr 18

this is what some of you seem to think "community" means

Vira Lillie mental illness@schwarzefaenge· Apr 5

got her on a single pull my Fuji luck continues her regular unit was a single 10 pull for me too 👌

Vira Lillie mental illness@schwarzefaenge· Mar 29

March again: The Devils - Joe Abercrombie this one falls into a category i like to call "man fantasy" where we can't go more than a couple of pages without mentioning shit/piss/farts and other bodily excretions and the mere mention of it is probably supposed to be funny but it isn't.