The Cringerbread Man

@scottopotamus

AZ resident but Hoosier by birth. Multiply neurodivergent haver of chronic pain. Stay at home uncle to 4 year old nephew. He/Him. Elected Bangers:

2.126 Folgt1.807 Follower3.039 Posts

Bluesky

Ist das dein Profil?Übernimm es — dann gehört dir scottopotamus.dirty.social.Profil übernehmen

The Cringerbread Man@scottopotamus· 22d

Lucked out and got a spot in the shade at Costco for lunch

A picture looking up to the underside of a Kirkland branded umbrella. In the background, the white ceiling of Costco and a Costco.com banner

The Cringerbread Man@scottopotamus· Jul 12

Eating sorbetto while watching a massive rain band approaching. This is peak Tucson.

The view from Noodies while a rain storm approaches

The Cringerbread Man@scottopotamus· Jul 8

I truly don’t think the world is ready for a farting skeleton in a barrel, but here we are

The Cringerbread Man@scottopotamus· Jun 30

This elephant lives in every room I enter

Text on a chalkboard: Do twins ever realize how one of them was unplanned?

The Cringerbread Man@scottopotamus· Jun 21

The Cringerbread Man@scottopotamus· Jun 16

Picture of an Emergency Broadcast System warning that reads Public Safety Alert
Pima County intermittent 9-1-1 outage has been resolved. Please do not call 9-1-1 to test the system.

The Cringerbread Man@scottopotamus· May 31

This guy might make an OK opening act. Has anyone checked the Energizer Bunny’s schedule?

The Cringerbread Man@scottopotamus· Apr 21

Meatball Ferris wheel as promised

A frickin’ Ferris wheel with 6 different meatballs

The Cringerbread Man@scottopotamus· Apr 19

This is how bad I am at connect four (I’m yellow). I don’t stand a chance against my nephew’s 6 chips in a turn strategy.

A blue connect four frame with 2 yellow pieces and a zillion reds because my nephew makes the rules. He may be a republican some day.

The Cringerbread Man@scottopotamus· Mar 26

My nephew brought me a hot skillet of boat soup for dinner. Bone apple tea!

A black plastic skillet containing a green ball, 2 donuts, a red piece that might be a toy appendix, and a yellow plastic boat. Not pictured, 9 golf tees that he added later on for more flavor.

The Cringerbread Man@scottopotamus· Mar 25

I’m at an indoor playground with my nephew and he convinced me to go down a slide that’s basically just like falling off a building and now I’ve got a nasty friction burn on my arm :(

A grown adult man’s noodley arm with a barely visible widdle fwiction burn from the playground. Not pictured: first aid cream, because I’m out of the house and I don’t have any.

The Cringerbread Man@scottopotamus· Mar 13

external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%... I was wondering when HBO was going to make a sequel to Chernobyl

Poster for HBO max original documentary called Fukushima-- A Nuclear Nightmare. The poster is a man standing in front of the Fukushima power plant in Japan. It's fiery orange. The tagline is "Nine days to save a nation"

The Cringerbread Man@scottopotamus· Mar 8

A jigsaw puzzle with like 30 vintage cereal boxes on it. This puzzle is standing in the way of me eating my birthday cake

The Cringerbread Man@scottopotamus· Mar 3

These cinnamon rolls really rose

A pan of gigantic, fluffy, unbaked cinnamon rolls

The Cringerbread Man@scottopotamus· Mar 3

Hanging with the dog-in-law

A brown, white, and black dog on a brown couch

The Cringerbread Man@scottopotamus· Feb 25

Ungggh

Mike Johnson's big dumb face with a quote:
"If we lost the midterms-- heaven forbid, if we lost the majority in The House-- it would be the end of the Trump presidency in a real effect."
Note: This quote seems to have been spoken. If he'd written it down, I'm convinced he'd have used "affect" instead of "effect" because he's a big dumb man. He big dumb!

The Cringerbread Man@scottopotamus· Feb 6

Inadequate, Senator. When so many civilian lives are at stake, we can't just do incrementalism. @captmarkkelly.bsky.social

LIMITS USE OF FORCE by limiting deadly force to situations
where there is "no reasonably effective, safe, and feasible alternate." LIMITS DISCHARGING OF FIREARMS under certain circumstances, such as limiting discharging of firearms on a moving
vehicle where other objectively reasonable options exist.
RESTRICTS THE USE OF CERTAIN EQUIPMENT
such as tear
gas, flash-bangs, and pepper balls. REQUIRES CLEAR IDENTIFICATION by limiting the use of face
masks and requiring clear uniform standards. STRENGTHEN MANDATORY TRAINING by updating agencies'
policies and mandating annual training on use-of-force, de-
scalation,
First and Fourth Amendment rights, rocial protiling, an
duty to reder medical aid. REQUIRE CAMERAS, both body-worn cameras and vehicle
cameras, for federal immigration officers. REQUIRE TRANSPARENCY AND ACCOUNTABILITY by mandating independent investigations of policy violations and requiring notifications to local authorities.
Arizona Senator Mark Kelly

The Cringerbread Man@scottopotamus· Jan 27

This may be the funniest thing I've ever said

A screenshot of a Skeet by The Cringerbread Man with comments.
The Cringerbread Man: Breaking: Greg Bovino Cut Down to Size
Cedar: Let's not talk about people's short comings...
Cringe: I said nothing at all about his comings

The Cringerbread Man@scottopotamus· Jan 22

Fuck Rummikub

Rummikub (6 person version) with the following tiles orange 10x3, orange 11, green 10, 11, 13, red 4, green 4, 6, 7, orange 7, red 8, green 8, red 8, orange 1, red 1, green 1 x 2, green 2, red 2, black 3, red 3, green 3. Never got to play a single tile.

The Cringerbread Man@scottopotamus· Dec 27

One of my dogs-in-law, cooper

A brown, white and tan dog sitting on a brown leather sofa. Christmas stuff is in the background

The Cringerbread Man@scottopotamus· Dec 19

My nephew decorated this Christmas cookie. The eyes are for intimidation.

Xmas tree shaped sugar cookie with sprinkles and two eyes near the top

The Cringerbread Man@scottopotamus· Dec 6

If you see this, repost with your model of positive masculinity.

Ted Lasso holding a soccer ball in his right hand and waving with his left hand.

The Cringerbread Man@scottopotamus· Nov 26

Here’s a blast from the fuckin’ past. This was bundled with my Acer Aspire in 1995.

A CD-ROM from the late 1900s. It’s green and it has the title Are You Afraid of the Dark.

The Cringerbread Man@scottopotamus· Nov 25

I’ve been put in charge of holding this dog. A couple years ago she ate her own tail; who knows what else she’s capable of. I’m afraid.

A black and tan dog with an overbite. Not pictured: missing tail.

The Cringerbread Man@scottopotamus· Nov 20

This cloud looks like it has really good self esteem.

Snapshot of some big, pillowy clouds. Also pictured: aerial power lines and a green tree near the bottom.

The Cringerbread Man@scottopotamus· Nov 18

I misread this as a fight with a printer which would be much more relatable.

The Cringerbread Man@scottopotamus· Sep 27

I found this disturbing new angle of the UN/escalator incident. I can't believe it, but I think DJT has a point. It's a wonder Melania is even alive! (TW: foul play) i.pinimg.com/originals/b5...

The Cringerbread Man@scottopotamus· Sep 27

My brother used to work at Cracker Barrel. Apparently, this shit happened all the time.

A bumper sticker sold by Cracker Barrel. It's goldenrod yellow with the picture of the guy leaning on the barrel on the right third. On the left two thirds, the text reads "My wife left me after I sat on my gun weird and blew my entire dick and balls off at Cracker Barrel."
They don't just put these on the racks next to the Bill O'Reilly audiobooks. You have to ask at the counter. If they say they don't carry it, they're lying.

The Cringerbread Man@scottopotamus· Aug 19

My sister in law is an OBGYN and pretty hilarious. She just put this on her FB.

POV of an edamame pod held in a person's right hand with the little beany bit poking out the end. It either looks kinda like a baby emerging from a vagina or a clitoris doin' its man-in-boat thing.

The Cringerbread Man@scottopotamus· Jul 24

My sleepy widdle dog