Jess

@secondaryjess

Beautiful screaming lady she/her

489 Folgt1.259 Follower2.860 Posts

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Jess@secondaryjess· 16d

Okay yeah this looks like a pretty nice floorpl-- what was that

Normal-looking and honestly kind of intrictate apartment floor plan with every room labeled

Zoomed in upper left corner of the bathroom, which is inexplicably labeled "sexy bath" on the floor plan

Jess@secondaryjess· Jul 12

I don’t usually track or log my weekday workouts because they're indoor and I don’t have my phone on me and I do not do "wearables" so every weekend when I go on a hike my phone makes it look like I just went absolute beast mode out of nowhere

Graph from my iPhone's health app showing today's steps (12,644) in orange and my "average" steps (818) by this time
In a day in gray
Above, it says "You're walking more than you do on a typical day"

Jess@secondaryjess· Feb 27

POV you're trying to read an article on a news website in 2026

Screenshot of an article on the Daily Mail mobile website. There are so many overlapping ads on the screen coming from the top, left hand side, bottom right, and bottom that the only visible text from the article is
"two decades of searching,
ive and well' on Friday by the
y Sherriff's Office, a release"

Jess@secondaryjess· Jan 14

If you work really hard for 10 years on breath control, one day you, too, will be able do this for 37 seconds

Jess@secondaryjess· Jan 8

Do NOT I repeat DO NOT Let your loved ones get Medicare Advantage plans

Anthony Bourdain portrait in black and white. His quote "Once you've been to Cambodia, you'll never stop wanting to beat Henry Kissinger to death with your bare hands" is across the bottom, but "been to Cambodia" is blacked out and overlaid with "worked in healthcare" and "Henry Kissinger" is blacked out and overlaid with "Bill Clinton," who created the concept of Medicare Advantage plans

Jess@secondaryjess· Dec 26

Never beating the middle of nowhere allegations

Jess@secondaryjess· Dec 24

No, but this broadcast viewing area is well beyond the city limits of Topeka, it's nearly a quarter of the state. The rural places have to get news from somewhere. I am currently in a town of ~800 people surrounded by nothing but pasture for miles. Topeka is 45 minutes away with nothing in between.

Jess@secondaryjess· Dec 24

Hello from the rural Kansas local news evening broadcast

Picture of a tv taken from a low angle. It is a local news graphic. Across the top it reads "COW KILLED IN SUSPICIOUS, DELIBERATE MANNER" and just underneath "Pottawatomie Co. Sheriff's Office"
There is a picture of a Pottawatomie County sheriff's badge, and next to it is a text box that reads "785-457-3354 ptsheriff.com"
So if you have any tips, you know where to send them

Jess@secondaryjess· Nov 1

There were many good costumes at the art gallery but no one served the same level of cunt as me

Me in a full length mirror image. I am wearing red coat? shirt? with a black lace overlay and a sort of built in cummerbund. It has a VERY deep V and a long, full peplum. Underneath, I am wearing a black satin dress that has a mesh panel over my cleavage. The dress stops just past my knees. With it, I am wearing red high heeled ankle strap shoes, a black velvet choker with a large cameo brooch attached to it, and very long black cross earrings that have red drops hanging from them. My very dark curly hair is piled on top of my head, save for a chin length curl on each side of my face. I have a true red matte lipstick on and my eyeshadow is mostly red with black accent. My skin is especially fair here (intentionally). I am standing but gently and slightly leaning, with one leg crossed in front of the other. There is a painting with a green matte and a black frame behind me.

Jess@secondaryjess· Oct 30

Kinda got the most incredible shirt of all time for $8 at the antique mall today

Woman's torso wearing a black baby tee with Kermit the frog draped across the top of a full martini glass, an image which is rendered entirely in rhinestones

Jess@secondaryjess· Oct 23

Got a copy of A Tree Grows in Brooklyn at a used bookstore a few weeks ago and didn't notice until now this very sweet 28 year old message on the inside cover It's nothing immensely profound but it touches my heart anyway

The inside of a paperback book cover. In very looping cursive, it reads:
12/25/97
Merry Christmas to Beth (Beth is underlined)
With love from
Grandaddy
I hope you will enjoy this story as much as I did, and take it from me it is authentic American History of The '20's [sic], and could just as easily been written about Maplewood, MO, where I grew up
Love
Grandaddy

Jess@secondaryjess· Oct 14

Genuinely really enjoy how this seems to imply that I wouldn’t know it was my birthday if not for the people who said yes when Facebook asked them if they wanted it to post something for them

Jess@secondaryjess· Oct 14

If anyone would like to give me money for achieving the arduous and joyous task of beginning another decade of my life very shortly after making a cross country move, I will not turn you down

Jess@secondaryjess· Oct 11

🤪

Little black cat sitting on a staircase. Her tiny lil tongue is out

Jess@secondaryjess· Oct 5

I made cinnamon rolls from scratch and they are so easily the very best cinnamon rolls I, a self proclaimed cinnamon roll snob, have ever had in my life as to be a religious experience.

An absolutely perfect cinnamon roll, partly broken apart, on a white plate with a fork across the top

A whole cinnamon roll and the center of another one next to each other on a white plate with a fork

Two frosted cinnamon rolls on a small blue plate with a fork

A truly perfect, ideal cinnamon roll on a small blue plate with a spatula on the edge

Jess@secondaryjess· Sep 23

Maybe I am simply ignorant but I did not realize "throwing shade" was "common parlance in Jane Austen's time" old

Jess@secondaryjess· Sep 17

Time for a game of DOES IT COUNT where I say why I think something that didn't happen exactly should count and you tell me if you agree or not

1) Republican in a guest spot etc -- The guy on Fox who had to apologize for saying homeless people should all be killed had to apologize. Wrong network but I feel the spirit is there?
2) Extremely successful for me -- I made a huge move and am happier and have a better job that pays me like 20% more and a voice teacher I like and new coaches who are fantastic but I haven't had the kinds of successes I had in mind when I wrote that?
3 ) Idina Menzel limited return-- she did have a limited return to Broadway in Redwood but it wasn't necessarily intended to be limited and it was definitely more than 3 nights
4 ) Euphoria delayed -- there haven't been announcements that it was delayed necessarily but they're saying it's releasing like a whole entire extra year further than we thought it would
5 ) Costco guys -- not cancelled, just fell off and eclipsed by the Rizzler

Jess@secondaryjess· Sep 17

Choosing also to count the tomato recipe trend because although I am not aware of a tomato RECIPE being trendy this summer, it has absolutely been a tomato summer. Bath and Body Works has a whole tomato girl summer line out, I say it counts

My 2025 predictions list, detailed in quoted post. "Some kind of tomato recipe trend in the summer" is checked off in blue

Jess@secondaryjess· Sep 17

Can’t believe I got this one honestly (hope she's okay)

Tweet from Pop Crave
"Bella Hadid shares new photos:

'I'm sorry I always go MIA I love you guys'"

There are 4 photos of Bella Hadid in various hospital scenarios. Top left with an IV catheter in her hand and some sort of monitoring devices around her head. Top right with a small scrape above her eyebrow and a visibly swollen opposite eye. Bottom left lying in a hospital bed with an oxygen mask on and IV in her arm. Bottom right making a sort of duck face lying in a hospital bed.

Second half of my 2025 predictions list, detailed in original post
"A Hadid hospitalized" is checked off in blue

Jess@secondaryjess· Aug 27

Finally figured out how to articulate this

A Facebook messenger message I sent that reads "Sometimes it's fun to let a man think you're a tiny bit unaware in the same way that it was fun to turn on Mario kart YouTube videos and give my nanny baby an unplugged steering wheel controller"
There is a laugh react on it given by the recipient of the message

Jess@secondaryjess· Aug 26

Girl who is really thrilled by the width of the windowsills here

Little black cat seen from behind looking out a window on a late August morning. There is a large green tree visible in the right hand corner.

Little black cat in silhouette from behind, in front of a window. She is in a very cryptid-like position, standing on her back legs with her front legs on the sash, hunched a bit toward her front legs in intrigue at something out the window. There are several green trees and a blue sky out of the window.

Little black cat in silhouette from the side, in front of a window. She is stretched very long, standing on her back legs with her front legs on the sash. There are several green trees and a blue sky out of the window.

Jess@secondaryjess· Aug 12

Girl who is snoozin after she was sooo brave meeting our housemate today

Little black cat on orange sheets with a yellow pillow behind her. She is laying in such a cute position that is kind of hard to explain, but basically she is laying on her side with her head kind of upside down and her front paws daintily crossed at the end of extended arms. One back leg is also extended

Little black cat on orange sheets with a yellow pillow behind her. She is laying on her side with her head sort of upside down and her arms bent at the wrist. Both of her back legs are extended.

Jess@secondaryjess· Aug 3

Health insurance from my old job expired and I don’t have cards or id info for my new insurance yet On the left is what I would have had to pay for one month of my narcolepsy medication On the right is what I paid after the pharmacist found a coupon Never forget that this is all 100% fake