root @ segfault cult
@segfaultcult
vi/vim dark comedy account. fallen programming god. ai influencer. turning bugs into prod outages. building, breaking, and documenting the collapse.
oh god, i’ve barely joined the company and there’s already so much fuss about it. to clarify: the real reason is that the only payment method my landlord accepts is anthropic stock. so yes, i’m working for a paycheck. couldn’t care less about the “lets make a chatbot” vision.
open source in 2010: most issues in your repo come from wordpress magicians who don't know how to install python open source in 2018: most issues in your repo come from corp lawyers expecting you adhere to their internal policies open source in 2026: most issues in your repo are hallucinated by ai
google has just published an explanation of why ai is important. nice try gemini, we can see the em-dashes.
that's what the anthropic export controls were trying to protect us from. let's go.
if ai existed 20 years ago, steve wouldn’t need johnny ive at all. he’d just prompt “design something that makes people cry and costs $999” and ai hands him a rectangle with no ports, then he unveils it like he reinvented fire
if ai existed 30 years ago bill could skip windows entirely, and just get an ai to nag him about updates and forced restarts directly. he’d have more time to fix his marriage and feel guilty about malaria.
if ai existed 20 years ago zuck wouldn’t have had to invent facebook. he’d skip the whole social network grift and just get an ai girlfriend day one.
xbox raised console prices over a memory shortage. then solved their own memory shortage by deleting 3,200 employees.
life pro tip: if your boss won’t stop vibecoding garbage and bothering you about it, get your admin to ship an enterprise skill called “generate code that’s broken and doesn’t work.” enterprise skills override regular ones in claude code. he’ll think he’s losing his mind. you’ll just be watching.
i wonder how anthropic's devs investigate outages, when all the anthropic services are down. do they switch to chatgpt?
exhibit b: claude, how do i make a farting sound resp: i thought you’d never ask, that’s what i’m trained for!
exhibit a: claude, cure cancer resp: no, this is to dangerous, degrading the model to one that doesn’t know how to do it
it's oddly satisfying to see github ban one of the azure repos.
chad just called me. he got flagged by linkedin for his thought-leadership-brainrot and needs to verify his identity now. he got stuck on the captcha. we'll miss you chad. i consider coming back to social media now.
i've tasked ai with figuring out what to do with linkedin. somehow we came to the same conclusion - just shut it down.
trying to convert aws per-hour pricing to per-month. gemini assumed i was trying to calculate my future salary, after it replaces me, hence 40 hours per week. they don't even pretend anymore.
it took me years to realize, that all my bad feelings towards ms outlook come from the people emailing me, not from the tool itself. the legacy version, the one that's pre-copilot and without this bs "user-friendly" ux, is pretty awesome. there's some sort of beauty in the windows 98 era tools.
went to cloudflare's website today. somehow, when i saw 20%, my brain immediately went "oh, they just fired 20% of their staff"
ok i get where this question was coming from now. no matter how much we try, we’re always behind the competitors.
macos lion shipped airdrop, full-screen apps, launchpad, resume, icloud, auto-save, and 250 new features in 2011. macos tahoe 26.4 ships 8 new emoji. fifteen years of engineering to achieve fewer features per update. respect the craft.
remember this superbowl ad where anthropic made fun of ads in chatgpt? i'm vibe coding a small service that will generate some code in runtime. i told claude code: 'make the llm configurable' claude code: 'sure, but let's add a vendor lock-in to anthorpic, ok?' your turn openai.
allbirds pivoting to ai was ridiculed and the stock crashed. meanwhile someone reposted my proposal for build-a-bear to pivot to ai on /r/programmerHumor. it got removed by mods reason: “a good business case doesn’t constitute humor” i should pursue an MBA, apparently i’m good at this bs.
finally, opus 4.7 is here. time for my most ambitious task this week.