get away from my colon, you bitch

mystery spheres on the beach you need to read the room now is not the time for this nonsense

checking out the mirrors for sale on marketplace and umm

happy friday

starting the week like

dress for the job you want

happy 4th @pamtoo.bsky.social ! 🇺🇸🫵🏻🎉🌭

i’m so wet

british historians will talk about a male member of the royal family and say things like “he was so handsome and charming no woman could resist him” and then the dude will look like this:

my kids whenever i speak

if he refers to women as femoids or foids you know he looks like this

the heat and humidity may be brutal rn but mentally this is me

weekend plans

james carville rn

call me madame president

this heat can’t touch my rich inner life

our eye brings all the boys to the yard (perseus)

me: *pulling dog hairs out of my eyelashes and off of my lips* them: this sounds like a you problem

amazon: rate this seller! me:

when someone tries to use our close personal relationship to get me to share my pizza with them

setting up my group chat on bsky

siri, show me something that causes instantaneous sterilization

i’ll take my own version in tribute xx

marching into a new week like…

saturday loading

whenever i’m inconvenienced in the slightest

morning

happy pride month, my darlings! 🏳️‍🌈 ♥️