Spencer

@spencerjohnson

Musician, actuary, liberal, vegan. Opinions are mine, not my employer's

652 Folgt393 Follower1.032 Posts

Bluesky

Ist das dein Profil?Übernimm es — dann gehört dir spencerjohnson.dirty.social.Profil übernehmen

Spencer@spencerjohnson· 3d

Geographic center of the U.S. is in middle of nowhere South Dakota. They can use one of the somewhat more convenient population centers instead if they stop insisting that land can vote

Map of the geographic, mean population, and median population centers of the U.S.

Spencer@spencerjohnson· 8d

What did y’all think Crazy meant? vibes? papers? essays? losers.

Spencer@spencerjohnson· 20d

Introducing my new product: toupees for cats

Calico cat with a clump of orange cat hair on her head

Orange cat with a clump of his own hair on his head

Spencer@spencerjohnson· Jul 10

Replace "talks" with "dresses" and you can throw Neal Katyal on the list too

Picture of Neal Katyal, an adult man wearing a propeller beanie and a chain necklace with a screaming head sculpture hanging from it

Spencer@spencerjohnson· Jun 16

Spencer@spencerjohnson· Jun 2

The face of someone who wants a bite of yogurt (which he would hate)

An orange cat mid-meow on a desk behind a neon colored keyboard and below a monitor

Spencer@spencerjohnson· Jun 2

The student run *what* club? Tbh I can't say I wouldn't have joined when I was an undergrad, so I shouldn't poke too much fun at it, but it's still quite a funny thing to see in an email from LinkedIn

Preview of an email from LinkedIn with title "Pomona College recently posted" and preview text "The student-run Luddite Club promote..."

Spencer@spencerjohnson· May 27

For example:

Spencer@spencerjohnson· May 26

Rest in Peace, Sonny Rollins. One of the greats. Putting this one on next

Picture of the vinyl record Sonny Rollins plus 4, the four being Clifford Brown, Max Roach, Richie Powell and George Morrow

Spencer@spencerjohnson· May 24

When the cat insists on being sort of nearby, but not *that* close

An orange cat on a pink couch, looking mildly perturbed

Spencer@spencerjohnson· May 22

Well-adjusted people using this app (couldn't be me)

Spencer@spencerjohnson· May 19

I've been enjoying Yellowbird Garlic Shiitake lately!

Spencer@spencerjohnson· May 16

Also, according to the comments, it's somehow contributed to at least one pregnancy!

My baby daddy use to sing this to me in high school. I thought he was lame af. Seven years later we gotta kid smfh. Guess I like my eggs fertilized lol.

Spencer@spencerjohnson· May 16

Got a free sample of a second type of coffee last time I bought beans, so I'm taking the opportunity to use my cute set of mugs and brewers that change color when exposed to heat!

Picture of two coffee mugs, one with a pourover coffee brewer on top. One has a branch with pink flowers on it, the other has a small bird

Spencer@spencerjohnson· May 16

Bad news for this website's demographic: KAZI Austin has an "Oldies" show playing music from the 50s through the 90s

Text reading "Oldies (50s, 60s, 70s, 80s & 90s)

Spencer@spencerjohnson· May 16

This little monster is lucky she's so cute, because she just woke me up at 2am by licking me on the nose!

A white bunny with black spots lays flopped on her side on a grey rug

Spencer@spencerjohnson· May 15

I do feel like you could get some Gender out of that lineup, given this anecdote from when Bill Evans joined the band

When Bill Evans—we sometimes called him Moe—first got with the band, he was so quiet, man. One day, just to see what he could do, I told him [and you have to hear Miles’ raspy whisper to really appreciate this], “Bill, you know what you have to do, don’t you, to be in this band?”
He looked at me all puzzled and shit and shook his head and said, “No, Miles, what do I have to do?”
I said, “Bill, now you know we all brothers and shit and everybody’s in this thing together and so what I came up with for you is that you got to make it with everybody, you know what I mean? You got to fuck the band.” Now, I was kidding, but Bill was real serious, like Trane.
He thought about it for about fifteen minutes and then came back and told me, “Miles, I thought about what you said and I just can’t do it, I just can’t do that. I’d like to please everyone and make everyone happy here, but I just can’t do that.”
I looked at him and smiled and said, “My man!” And then he knew I was teasing.

Spencer@spencerjohnson· May 15

On today's Taskmaster, we learn that @kumail.bsky.social is embarrassed to disclose the presence of Bluesky (among other things) in his browser history. Celebrities, they're just like the rest of us!

Picture of Alex Horne looking at a laptop and saying "Kumail, Ghostbusters, watched porn, Bluesky", while Kumail Nanjiani covers his face with his hand

Spencer@spencerjohnson· May 14

This is just not true and instantly makes me distrust everything else she has to say (and is something the author or editor ought to have fact checked)

Clip from the article where the candidate claims that Texas effectively has no regulation of the insurance industry

Spencer@spencerjohnson· May 13

Maybe he's taken up Latchkum

Four panels:

1) A alien holds an oblong ball
2) A human holds the same ball and says "So, what this just goes until somebody..."
3) The ball stabs the human's hand, who screams
4) Two aliens raise their hands in the air and yell "Latchkum!"

Spencer@spencerjohnson· May 8

Listening to some country covers of pop songs just to spite this guy (and because it's a great album!)

Picture of a record sleeve with a man wearing a white cowboy hat and a pink furry stole.

The artist is Joshua Ray Walker and the title is What Is It Even?

Spencer@spencerjohnson· May 5

Staryu looks kinda like he's standing on his bottom two "legs" here, maybe Mega Starmie shouldn't have been completely unexpected!

Picture of Mega Starmie, a blue starfish pokemon standing on two legs, which are longer than the others

Spencer@spencerjohnson· May 4

Jesse Custer would never

A man in clergy attire smoking a cigarette in a church pew, resting his feet on the pew in front, with stained glass windows in the background

Spencer@spencerjohnson· May 3

It's somehow even worse, it was revenge on an executive for punishing him for sexual misconduct, which incidentally resulted in a pay cut

Investigators learned from another EgyptAir pilot that Al-Batouti was supposedly reprimanded for repeated inappropriate behaviour with female guests at the Hotel Pennsylvania, a New York City hotel often used by EgyptAir crews. Hatem Roushdy, the EgyptAir official said to be responsible for the alleged reprimand, was a passenger on Flight 990. Investigators confirmed that shortly before the flight, Roushdy revoked Al-Batouti's privilege of flying to the United States and informed him that Flight 990 would be his last on the route.

His image as a faithful husband and devout Muslim were tarnished by continuing accusations of sexual improprieties that included exposing himself to teenage girls, propositioning hotel maids and stalking female hotel guests, the transcripts and police reports show.

A few hours before the crash, Rushdy, the senior EgyptAir supervisorial pilot, told Batouty that, because of his sexual misconduct, he would be banned on transatlantic flights to the United States, according to Taha.

The U.S. flights carry prestige and additional pay because of their length.

Spencer@spencerjohnson· Apr 28

Media representation for my profession! Granted he's a drug seeking patient, but still probably less embarrassing than that Ben Stiller character

Picture of a doctor slightly smirking and looking at a man in the foreground who's saying "I'm an actuary. It's risk management, stats."

Spencer@spencerjohnson· Apr 28

Ah well, about what I expected

Spencer@spencerjohnson· Apr 28

The joys of trying to buy concert tickets on the internet

Screenshot of a website showing the user is in line to buy Kacey Musgraves tickets, with an estimated wait time of more than an hour

Spencer@spencerjohnson· Mar 21

Gotta get this one, with the fried peanuts in the mix

Large jar of Lao Gan Ma Fried Chili In Oil

Spencer@spencerjohnson· Mar 19

Dune poster with title "Barbie" and subtitle "(And Ken)"

Spencer@spencerjohnson· Mar 3

And, although it's a bit embarrassing to admit, I had this on a T-shirt when I was in high school, back when vocal anti-Walmart sentiment was more of a thing, so I'm probably less inclined than most to shop at Walmart