Rob Graham

@spidey004

Am I strong? Listen, bud. I have radioactive blood. So, no. I’m quite weak and sick. (I’m a he/him but all pronouns are awesome!)

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Bluesky

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Rob Graham@spidey004· 27d

Yeah, I guess you can say I’ve gotten into looksmaxxing pretty hard. But you can’t argue with the results!

Side by side photos of Brad Pitt on the left and an odd-looking bald guy (me) on the right. The Brad Pitt pic is labeled “Before.” The pic of me is labeled “After.” (The idea being, of course, that I once looked like Brad Pitt and have rejected that look in favor of my current appearance.) Each pic has text pointing out key facial features:

Brad Pitt:

Hair: tousled, silky… lame
Eyes: piercing, haunting… lame
Mouth: sensuous, playful… lame
Stubble: tawny, rugged… lame

Me:

Eyes: asymmetrical, crazed… hot
Scalp: smooth, shiny… hot
Mouth: crooked, threatening… hot
Skin, oily, pockmarked… hot

Rob Graham@spidey004· 28d

Hey, Criterion Collection... it’s time. Get off your asses and do something right, for once.

Photoshopped poster for a fake old-timey movie musical. An odd-looking bald guy in a black suit and top hat is dancing while holding a cane apparently made out of raisins. There are musical notes and raisins pictured as graphic elements in the poster, as well. The text reads:

Rob Graham

In “RAISIN CANE”

An RKO RADIO Newspaper Television Telegraph Picture

Rob Graham@spidey004· 29d

Umm… great job, poindexters. But I think we already knew the Milky Way has sugar. Can’t wait until you “discover” the nougat.

Screenshot from the NBC News website. It’s an article with the headline: “In a sweet discovery, astronomers find sugar lurking in the space between the stars.”

The sub-heading reads: “Using two dish-shaped radio telescopes in Spain, researchers collected data from a large gas cloud near the center of the Milky Way. They identified the sugar in gaseous form by comparing telescope signals with lab samples.”

Rob Graham@spidey004· 29d

Sorry, “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn,” AFI just named a different movie quote Number One.

A screenshot from the movie Mystery Street (1950) starring Ricardo Montalban and Elsa Lanchester (among others). Elsa Lanchester’s landlady character is calling up the stars while Ricardo Montalban’s detective character stands behind her. Elsa’s character is saying “It’s a gentleman caller named Dick.”

Rob Graham@spidey004· Jul 13

Right there with you in Harrison Ford/Indy/Raiders fandom. 🙌

Rob Graham@spidey004· Jul 13

Rob Graham@spidey004· Jul 12

Nice acquisition. I’ve been singing ghouls’ praises for years. #GhoulsRule

Rob Graham@spidey004· Jul 10

Screenshot of an article from Southern Living. The headline reads: Found A Rattlesnake In Your Yard? Here’s What Experts Say To Do

Then I Photoshopped in a picture of RFK Jr. holding two snakes he picked up off the ground at Dr. Oz’s house. And I added this quote under the photo: “See if you can fit the whole thing in your mouth!” - RFK Jr.

Rob Graham@spidey004· Jul 10

Happy Friday, everybody.

An odd-looking bald guy (me) is Photoshopped into the famous door Jack Nicholson breaks open with an axe in The Shining. So, instead of Jack, you see this dweeb (still me) with a crazy evil expression.

Rob Graham@spidey004· Jul 7

This was my introduction to She-Hulk. (She swept me off my feet. 🥰)

An illustration of She-Hulk (art by the incredible Jen Bartel) Photoshopped to look like she’s carrying an odd-looking bald guy (me). The guy is gazing up at her lovingly. Because she’s She-Hulk.

Rob Graham@spidey004· Jul 7

Whoops! I didn’t promote the latest episode of the Lounge. Not because I’m not proud of our conversational stamina… but because I had muted “Spider-Noir” and/or “007 First Light” to avoid spoilers and never saw this post! Anyway, take five hours and listen, won’t you?

Rob Graham@spidey004· Jul 6

Exactly.

An article about how yawning can be caused by anxiety.

Rob Graham@spidey004· Jul 5

This guy, too.

The Beast from Disney’s “Beauty and the Beast”

Rob Graham@spidey004· Jul 2

I was going for an intimidating stare but everyone thought I forgot my glasses. 😑

An odd-looking bald guy (me) squints into the camera.

Rob Graham@spidey004· Jul 1

Yep. This is the pic on my Marvel 1976 reprint calendar for July. And it’s so cool and aspirationally patriotic that it made me reflect… and lament how far we’ve fallen from the ideal Cap represents.