Splayd Gang

@splaydgang

Maliketh's little hip cape is life! Pyrrha Dve cracked my egg 🏳️‍🌈 I play Elden Ring, MtG Commander and D&D and occasionally retweet NSFW, so no minors 🔞 Maybe I'll make a side account for my Elden Ring YouTube stuff. 18+ only he/they, 34

1.749 Folgt465 Follower2.511 Posts

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Ist das dein Profil?Übernimm es — dann gehört dir splaydgang.dirty.social.Profil übernehmen

Splayd Gang@splaydgang· 5d

Good!

Splayd Gang@splaydgang· 11d

I'm a big tuna melt girlie. I double can 3 slices of bread toaster oven with some chipotle Cholula and Ghost pepper jack at least once a week for the last 2 months. And then I think "I should also have leafy greens" and stand there eating plain lettuce leaves while staring at the toaster oven

Splayd Gang@splaydgang· Jun 17

It continues to grow!

Splayd Gang@splaydgang· Jun 17

Moaaaaaaar more! Mooooore!

Splayd Gang@splaydgang· Jun 17

@baseball-broad.bsky.social best thing that's happened tonight and it's growing. People keeping showing up from other seating sections and joining. It started with like 10 people

Splayd Gang@splaydgang· May 8

Splayd Gang@splaydgang· Apr 26

At the UW Touch-A-Truck event for youth groups and such. Sounds like 5,000 people came through last year and it's going to be a good one. There's so many Trucks!

Splayd Gang@splaydgang· Apr 20

The guy's gay like Sir Ian McKellen

Gay. Rogier Elden Ring. He's gay like Sir Ian McKellen

Splayd Gang@splaydgang· Apr 16

Most Fromsoft NPC man of all time

Willem Dafoe as Dr Franz in 2024 Nosferatu. He's standing in a crypt that's on fire holding a can of oil and wearing a big top hat with a cloak with a half cape. And he's ecstatic. He looks like a Fromsoft NPC

Splayd Gang@splaydgang· Apr 8

Everyone better be stocking up on respirators. Everyone is still getting COVID and this years smoke/fire season is going to be cataclysmic

Map of the Continental 48 US states with a last 30 days deviation from "normal maximum temperature" overlay. It shows that ~80% of the US centered along the 37th parallel is 8°F or above the normal maximum temperature, in a dark red strip. Data from NIDIS and Drought.gov

Splayd Gang@splaydgang· Apr 7

Took a nap and woke up like this

My hand outstretched in bed with my cat asleep with all her peets and beans and her nose on my outstretched hand

Splayd Gang@splaydgang· Apr 5

My friend just took this photo and I feel drunk with autistic euphoria

Splayd Gang@splaydgang· Apr 5

& combining them ATTACKING! Swinging through at the face! Orcs that give additional combats. Balrogs that give additional combats. Lands that give 1 or 2 creatures unblockable. Enchantments artifacts and effects that give menace or trample (and treasure? 😮). Isengard Unleashed for that LETHAL swing

Port Razer
Magic the Gathering card

Rules Text
Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, untap each creature you control. After this phase, there is an additional combat phase.
This creature can't attack a player it has already attacked this turn.
Flavor Text
"Smash and grab, loot and burn, then it is the next town's turn!"

Secret Tunnel
Magic the Gathering card

Rules Text
This land can't be blocked.
Tap: Add 1:colorless.
4:colorless, tap: Two target creatures you control that share a creature type can't be blocked this turn.
Flavor Text
"I forget the next couple of lines, but then it goes . . . 'Secret tunnel! Secret tunnel!' "
-Chong, nomad musician

The Reaver Cleaver
Magic the Gathering card

Rules Text
Equipped creature gets +1/+1 and has trample and "Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player or planeswalker, create that many Treasure tokens."
Equip 3:colorless

Isengard Unleashed
Magic the Gathering card

Rules Text
Damage can't be prevented this turn. If a source you control would deal damage this turn to an opponent or a permanent an opponent controls, it deals triple that damage instead.
Flashback
4:colorless 3:red (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its flashback cost. Then exile it.)

Splayd Gang@splaydgang· Apr 5

Amass Orcs Orcs that amass orcs. Books that amass orcs. A planeswalker that amasses zombie-orcs. Board-wipes that amass zombie-orcs (widespread brutality). Enchantments that amass orcs and that pair further with removal that amasses more orcs

Orcish Bowmasters
Magic the Gathering card
The only "gamechanger" in the deck

Rules Text
Flash
When this creature enters and whenever an opponent draws a card except the first one they draw in each of their draw steps, this creature deals 1 damage to any target. Then amass Orcs 1.

Book of Mazarbul
Magic the Gathering card

Rules Text
(As this Saga enters and after your draw step, add a lore counter. Sacrifice after III.)
I - Amass Orcs 1. (Put a +1/+1 counter on an Army you control. It's also an Orc. If you don't control an Army, create a 0/0 black Orc Army creature token first.)
II - Amass Orcs 2.
III - Creatures you control get +1/+0 and gain menace until end of turn.

Angrath, Captain of Chaos
Magic the Gathering card

Rules Text
Creatures you control have menace.
−2: Amass Zombies 2. (Put two +1/+1 counters on an Army you control. It's also a Zombie. If you don't control an Army, create a 0/0 black Zombie Army creature token first.)

Fall of Cair Andros
Magic the Gathering card

Rules Text
Whenever a creature an opponent controls is dealt excess noncombat damage, amass Orcs X, where X is that excess damage. (Put X +1/+1 counters on an Army you control. It's also an Orc. If you don't control an Army, create a 0/0 black Orc Army creature token first.)
7:colorless 1:red This enchantment deals 7 damage to target creature.

Splayd Gang@splaydgang· Apr 5

Cursed-Mining and the fall of Khazad-Dum Treasure generation and mining equipment that delves too greedily too deep (heh). Also artifact's the dwarves left behind, like the Two Handed axe and Diamond Pick-Axe. Along with The Collector's Vault, Tarrian's journal & The Book of Mazarbul (next section)

Brass's Tunnel-Grinder
Magic the Gathering card

Rules Text
When Brass's Tunnel-Grinder enters, discard any number of cards, then draw that many cards plus one.
At the beginning of your end step, if you descended this turn, put a bore counter on Brass's Tunnel-Grinder. Then if there are three or more bore counters on it, remove those counters and transform it. (You descended if a permanent card was put into your graveyard from anywhere.)

Descent into Avernus
Magic the Gathering Card

Rules Text
At the beginning of your upkeep, put two descent counters on this enchantment. Then each player creates X Treasure tokens and this enchantment deals X damage to each player, where X is the number of descent counters on this enchantment.

Rain of Riches
Magic the Gathering card

Rules Text
When this enchantment enters, create two Treasure tokens.
The first spell you cast each turn that mana from a Treasure was spent to cast has cascade. (When you cast the spell, exile cards from the top of your library until you exile a nonland card that costs less. You may cast it without paying its mana cost. Put the exiled cards on the bottom in a random order.)

Diamond Pick-Axe
Magic the Gathering card

Rules Text
Indestructible (Effects that say "destroy" don't destroy this Equipment.)
Equipped creature gets +1/+1 and has "Whenever this creature attacks, create a Treasure token." (It's an artifact with "tap, Sacrifice this token: Add one mana of any color.")
Equip 2:colorless

Splayd Gang@splaydgang· Apr 5

The deck has 3 main themes that blend across each other. Too Greedily, Too Deep Balrogs, cheating out and recurring massive demons. Wiping the board. Dragging other creatures to hell and coming back to do it again. Doing damage on entrance and/or death. All the while generating treasure and value

Too Greedily, Too Deep
Magic Card.

rules Text
Put target creature card from a graveyard onto the battlefield under your control. That creature deals damage equal to its power to each other creature.
Flavor Text
"The Dwarves tell no tale; but even as mithril was the foundation of their wealth, so also it was their destruction."
—Gandalf

Rakdos Joins Up
Magic the Gathering card

rules Text
When Rakdos Joins Up enters, return target creature card from your graveyard to the battlefield with two additional +1/+1 counters on it.
Whenever a legendary creature you control dies, Rakdos Joins Up deals damage equal to that creature's power to target opponent.

Fires of Mount Doom
Magic the Gathering card

When Fires of Mount Doom enters, it deals 2 damage to target creature an opponent controls. Destroy all Equipment attached to that creature.
2:colorless + 1:red Exile the top card of your library. You may play that card this turn. When you play a card this way, Fires of Mount Doom deals 2 damage to each player.

Shadow of the Enemy
Magic the Gathering card

rules Text
Exile all creature cards from target player's graveyard. You may cast spells from among those cards for as long as they remain exiled, and mana of any type can be spent to cast them.
Flavor Text
As Frodo put on the Ring, Sauron was suddenly aware of the magnitude of his own folly. His wrath blazed in consuming flame, but his fear rose like black smoke.

Splayd Gang@splaydgang· Apr 5

Elbrus the Binding Blade as the snapped off silver spike on the helm of Glorfindel Elven Lord, with which he speared Gothmog Lord of Balrogs. His Maiar soul, represented by Withengar Unbound, warping the spike into a cursed knife

The Magic Card Elbrus the Binding Blade as the snapped off silver spike on the helm of Glorfindel Elven Lord, with which he speared Gothmog Lord of Balrogs. His Maiar soul, represented by Withengar Unbound on the flipped side, warping the spike into a cursed knife

Withengar Unbound, representing Gothmog Lord of All Balrogs. His Maiar soul warping the spike into a cursed knife until he's freed once again

Splayd Gang@splaydgang· Apr 5

8 Balrogs (silmarillion 7, but the Bloodthirster makes 8 with a nod to Khorne's fav number) 3 Balrogs 1 Balor (the D&D Balrog) 3 Rakdos (he's a Balrog) 1 Bloodthirster (Warhammer Balrog) There are 2 other Rakdoses but the Defiler isn't really worth it and the muscle looks too anachronistic

The Balrog, Durin's Bane
Magic the gathering card

It's a Balrog

Balor
Magic the Gathering card

The D&D Balrog

Rakdos, the Showstopper
Magic the Gathering card

Rakdos is the MTG Balrog with a name

Bloodthirster
Magic the Gathering card

The Warhammer Balrog

Splayd Gang@splaydgang· Apr 2

Fire emblem fans! Give me three FE ships to get to know you. I'm just going to give Sacred Stones Gerik X Innes Garcia X Gilliam Cormag X Tana I lied, bonus Binding Blade ship Jaffar X Legault

Cormag falls helplessly in love with Tana and the crown Prince gives them permission to marry

Legault & Jaffar
Assassin husband
Jaffar probably cries in Legault's arms when Legault offers to moisturize his scars

Splayd Gang@splaydgang· Mar 26

Beautiful spring day in Seattle

Photo from a boat dock on Seattle with a clear middle water section and fishing boats on either side. One in the distance is named Wizard

Splayd Gang@splaydgang· Mar 20

This is real with great information. Check out the THREAD Here's a screenshot of the companies with contracts in WA

Splayd Gang@splaydgang· Mar 15

Even more than 2!

Splayd Gang@splaydgang· Mar 12

Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky It's a 1991 Chinese martial arts splatter film based on a violent adult manga about a guy who can. Punch holes in things and gets out in prison where everyone wants to fight him. First Chinese movie to receive a "viewers under 18 not permitted" rating