The Human Term & Condition (@squatmaster666) · DIRTY

The Human Term & Condition

@squatmaster666

i am your impulsive thoughts megaphone and a professional void howler a real human being and not a green satanic anarchist fae baby from the puppet dimension they/it/guy/any

347 Folgt406 Follower5.268 Posts

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The Human Term & Condition@squatmaster666· 11d

have you ever been trigonometrically blue balled?

a badly stepped on snippet from a reddit(?) post of an image where someone has drawn a series of interlocking geometrical line patterns, with the caption:
"Semen retention has me drawing sacred geometry again, no caffiene, about 20 hours of work so far. Pictures with process"

The Human Term & Condition@squatmaster666· Jun 27

nah i'd win

youtube video titled "HUMAN BODY vs NUCLEAR EXPLOSION simulation"
thumbnail depicts a skinless human in a field hit by an atomic bomb from behind, just right at the moment it goes off and erupts from the human's stomach

The Human Term & Condition@squatmaster666· Jun 22

an edit of the original "take care of our own" comic by amii.illustrates
Panel 1: Guy in suit says "people are simply *incapable* of articulating *why* they dislike Starmer"
Panel 2: kid sais "well what about-" and the guy in the suit says "fuck off"

The Human Term & Condition@squatmaster666· Jun 15

like this?

a photo of a green felt frog puppet with dentures jammed into its mouth

The Human Term & Condition@squatmaster666· May 5

the fit i rolled up with to the met gala

photo of someone standing in front of a tree wearing a ~15th century style suite of plate armour, complete with a frog-mouth helm ("Stechhelm")

The Human Term & Condition@squatmaster666· Apr 30

although whatever the fuck is going on here isn't half bad either

screengrab from @krang.bsky.social ('America's Lounge Singer'). the picture shows billionaire weirdo Bryan Johnson's timelapse of injecting fat-derived extracellular matrix into his own face which has lead to what appears to be a serious case of either anaphylaxis or turning into a TES: Oblivion character
"for those of you not on twitter anymore, the anti-aging billionaire guy posted a timelapse of his failed attempt to inject "fat-derived extracellular matrix" into his face and I thought you might want to see that"

The Human Term & Condition@squatmaster666· Apr 29

they are onto the common woman's habit of devouring any small bird they can get their hands on

article from Scientific American showing a picture of a great tit
"City birds appear to be more afraid of women than men, and scientists have no idea why"
'“I fully believe our results, that urban birds react differently based on the sex of the person approaching them,” said a co-author of a study that made this finding, “but I can’t explain them right now”'
by claire cameron and edited by jeanna bryner; terrifiers of birds

The Human Term & Condition@squatmaster666· Apr 27

in celebration of 400 lunatics following me on Bluesky dot com, here is a photo of me drinking the woke juice

a very good MS paint drawing of a small round green pac-man like puppet figure downing an orange fluid from a bottle marked "JENDUR FLUID"

The Human Term & Condition@squatmaster666· Apr 24

turns out they made a Wikipedia page about me

the header for the Wikipedia page about Toilet god

The Human Term & Condition@squatmaster666· Apr 11

there are BAD FAITH ACTORS claiming that i only started my reasarch into the FAKE ISLAND of KIRIBATI because i "LOST" a "QUIZ", but those are aIL LIErS! if i leave this world tonight know that it qwas because i flew too close to the trUth!

a desaturated aerial photo of an island that SOME might call Kiribati. the text superimposed onto it reads
'The so-called
island nation
named "KIRIBATI"
(does)
NOT EXIST'

The Human Term & Condition@squatmaster666· Apr 7

a four-panel. Kermit the Frog is sitting in a golf cart
Panel 1: "Sometimes, when I'm *really* frustrated and need to clear my head,"
Panel 2: "I just get into my golf cart and floor it around the lot."
Panel 3: "Speedlimit's 5 miles per hour, but I'll go 6 or 7."
Panel 4: "I don't care."

The Human Term & Condition@squatmaster666· Mar 31

mine.

Eddie Hall lifting the Strathmore of Durness Stone

The Human Term & Condition@squatmaster666· Mar 31

alright, it's time to debate video game lore how many cocks does he have?

the boss Godrick the Grafted from the video game Elden Ring. he is a large mass of limbs which have been "grafted" onto him and throws two big axes around

The Human Term & Condition@squatmaster666· Mar 26

can't believe Tony whacked Zoe right after this

James Gandolfini during his appearance at Sesame Street, talking to the Muppet Zoe

The Human Term & Condition@squatmaster666· Mar 19

of course, i got extra suspicious the moment the ai search began lying to me again

an ai overview from a Google search asking "is there porn on the internet". the ai lies and says yes

The Human Term & Condition@squatmaster666· Mar 4

London is definitely safer when the absolute biggest weapon of all, the writer of this opinion piece, is currently away in Dubai

a Daily Mail opinion piece depicting a missile flying overhead, with the title
"Even as missiles fly over my head - I feel safer in Dubai than in Sadiq Khan's London.."
i have not the care or respect enough to care to learn who the writer is

The Human Term & Condition@squatmaster666· Mar 3

Gavin Newsom the "Let's Open My 'Bipartisan Podcast' By Guesting Charlie Kirk"-Guy

a screensnip from a bluesky share by The Economist

"The governor has become the de facto leader of the Democratic Party
[picture of Gavin Newsom looking like a smug cunt]
Gavin Newsom wants to reintroduce himself"

The Human Term & Condition@squatmaster666· Mar 1

a very accurate sculpture of a horse with appropriately front-facing eyes

The Human Term & Condition@squatmaster666· Feb 16

this Youtube video which ranks "levels of dialogue" puts Rick and Morty at level 6, by the way i am learning a lot

a thumbnail from a Youtube video called "The 7 Levels of Dialogue". The thumbnail displays:
Level 1: Tommy Wiseau from 'The Room'
Level 2: Katana lady from Suicide Squad
Level 3: Vin Diesel from Fast & the Furious (i presume)
Level 4: i don't know who this is
Level 5: RDJ as Tony Stark
Level 6: Charles Dance as Tywin Lannister
Level 7: it's blurred and therefore MYSTERIOUS (the video uses JK Simmons' abusive character from Whiplash)

The Human Term & Condition@squatmaster666· Feb 11

just uploaded my face to Discord

Willem Dafoe's face from Speed II pasted ontop of a colorised photo of Marilyn Monroe

The Human Term & Condition@squatmaster666· Jan 27

i'm not. who's jon? fuck that guy

screengrab from The Garfield Forum and the board "IM SORRY JON"

The Human Term & Condition@squatmaster666· Jan 23

meanwhile i'm like 2016 to 2026

a puppet of Grogu from The Mandalorian

a still image of 'Minch' the extremely stepped-on Yoda-backpack repurposed into a hand puppet for Elyse Willems

The Human Term & Condition@squatmaster666· Jan 21

pooter

a schematic for a pooter

it is a jar with a lid and two tubes sticking out of it. the right tube is open at both ends and labelled with "Plastic tube" and "<-insect gets sucked in"
the left tube is labelled with "suck here" and "gauze filter"

there's a bug on the bottom of the jar

The Human Term & Condition@squatmaster666· Jan 18

it's not my favourite movie by a woman director but did y'all know that Cocaine Bear was directed by Elizabeth Banks?

a picture of Elizabeth Banks with glasses holding a manuscript stack next to a Cocaine Bear poster

The Human Term & Condition@squatmaster666· Jan 9

drew this diagram of my polycule

an MS paint diagram of a polycule. it consists of one (1) green dot

The Human Term & Condition@squatmaster666· Jan 9

a New Yorker cartoon in which three children and one adult in a threadbare suit are sitting around a fire in a post-apocalyptic landscape. the adult says:

"Yes, the planet got destroyed. But for a beautiful moment in time we created a lot of value for shareholders."

The Human Term & Condition@squatmaster666· Jan 6

everybody loves me

a bootleg Yoda figurine with a muscular, Hulk-like body

The Human Term & Condition@squatmaster666· Jan 3

media reporting "explosions in Venezuela" is giving

the 'We're All Trying To Find The Guy Who Did This' meme from I Think You Should Leave, except 'The Guy Who' has been blacked out and scrawled over, making it "We're all trying to find out what did this"

The Human Term & Condition@squatmaster666· Dec 19

i am not a grinch, it's not true! it's bullshit! i am not a grinch! i am not! oh hi Krampus

an ever-increasingly stepped on MS paint drawing of a green puppet holding a bloodied kitchen knife with a distressed "cute" expression, currently wearing a short santa cap

The Human Term & Condition@squatmaster666· Dec 17

make a film British The Leisurely and the Miffed

theatrical release poster for the original The Fast and the Furious, starring Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Michelle Rodriguez and Jordana Brewster