Jakespeare’s Wrath

@swashbucklr

Your Web9 destination for all your dual-wielding quasi-fungible swashbuckling needs. He/him. Black lives matter. Trans rights are human rights.

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Bluesky

trans

Ist das dein Profil?Übernimm es — dann gehört dir swashbucklr.dirty.social.Profil übernehmen

Jakespeare’s Wrath@swashbucklr· 20d

Regardless, last night my partner cleaned my dirty Snorlax. (Which does make it sound like a sex move.)

A Snorlax plushie. Snorlax is a blue and white Pokemon who looks like a round cat.

Jakespeare’s Wrath@swashbucklr· 27d

Two excellent Savers finds: complete copies of Catan Junior and Azul!

Two board games next to each other. Azul on the left has colorful square patterns, and Catan Junior on the right shows a bunch of young pirates on a dock.

Jakespeare’s Wrath@swashbucklr· Jul 13

About 50, and some of them are multiple albums like this one.

Jakespeare’s Wrath@swashbucklr· Jul 10

I remember watching Starchaser: the Legend of Orin in 3D in Cambridge, MA when I was a kid. It’s probably terrible, certainly a Star Wars riff, and for some reason I couldn’t resist getting it at a thrift store.

The dvd cover of the animated movie Starchaser: the Legend of Orin. The main character is a young man dramatically holding a lightsaber.

Jakespeare’s Wrath@swashbucklr· Jun 23

Two artifact-stacked Chaos Reach warlocks and one Song of Fire warlock along for the ride, and we one-phased Captain Avarokk on Master. Grasp of Avarice is my favorite dungeon and it’s so much fun to clear the boss in five minutes. #Destiny2

A pair of well-dressed space wizards fire streams of arc energy at an alien pirate captain. The pirate is taking 1,798 damage many, many times.

Jakespeare’s Wrath@swashbucklr· Jun 20

If you see this, post a vampire that isn't Dracula (or Laszlo because obviously we all think he's awesome).

Strahd, a powerful vampire, sits casually on a red throne. One hand holds a glass of “wine” and the other is dropping cards in front of him. A raven sits on the armrest of the throne.

Jakespeare’s Wrath@swashbucklr· Jun 16

We saw a trash panda in the wild. That is to say, this garbage truck had a mascot - a stuffed animal panda.

The closed back of a garbage truck, with a stuffed animal panda wedged into a handle

Jakespeare’s Wrath@swashbucklr· Jun 8

I found this after John Oliver had it on one of his episodes about disinformation, and I used to post it a lot.

Jakespeare’s Wrath@swashbucklr· May 28

Bluski meme! You like! I answer questions!

List of numbered questions.
Any other social media? Why blue sky? Would you post Bluesky? Nationality and ethnicity? Gender and pronouns? One word to describe yourself. having any hobbies or passions? Three nice things about you? What’s your perfect date? Speaking other languages? Somewhere you’d like to visit? Are you a coffee or tea person? What’s your favorite food? What’s your favorite drink? What’s your favorite season? Have a favorite quote?
Then some questions about music, media and art

Jakespeare’s Wrath@swashbucklr· May 8

“Behold the power of cheese.”

Jakespeare’s Wrath@swashbucklr· May 8

New Noah Kahan x Qdoba just dropped. #Vermont #SeasonOfTheShrimp

An advertisement for shrimp burritos, with Impact font text reading “And I love Vermont, but it’s the” and the the ad says “season of the shrimp.”

Jakespeare’s Wrath@swashbucklr· Apr 30

Are you there, Jacob? Reach me, Margaret.

An email from Margaret, saying “Jacob hi.” There is a generic user icon.

Jakespeare’s Wrath@swashbucklr· Apr 20

After not playing for six or so years, I finally connected my Warframe account from Xbox to PC and look how many acievements I got in the first minute of gameplay. #and86moreAchievements

Jakespeare’s Wrath@swashbucklr· Apr 16

I am the Eldeningest Lord I can be. It's saying something about a game that 10% of the players have gotten all of the achievements for it. A lot of people like this game and wanted to see everything. Elden Ring sure is something else.

A screenshot of two achievements, Elden Ring and Elden Lord, next to a picture of a Tarnished sitting on the Elden Throne.

Jakespeare’s Wrath@swashbucklr· Apr 10

These two are the fairy couple at the end of the bar who really love your vibe. “Can we buy you some flower nectar served in an acorn cup?” #AFKJourney

A man and a woman with long brown hair, pointy ears, and wings, wearing flowing clothing

Jakespeare’s Wrath@swashbucklr· Apr 5

My partner, about our niece going down the slide at a playground: “She’s such a slide expert!” Me: “You might say that she’s a…”

Jakespeare’s Wrath@swashbucklr· Mar 29

So, as a wizards I raised my cane high, brought it down before the mimic and intoned, “YOU SHALL NOT CASK.”

Swashbucklr, a long-haired man holding a cane up in front of himself, standing in front of a mimic. Across from the mimic, a woman dressed as a pirate is laughing.

Jakespeare’s Wrath@swashbucklr· Mar 26

Found a new legally distinct creature catching game at #PAXeast! #Aniimo

Jakespeare’s Wrath@swashbucklr· Mar 25

I put the last two of my Destiny 2 seals up on the board today. It’s the first one I earned, Wayfarer, and the last, Transcendent. It’s nice to have a physical representation of the thousands of hours I’ve put into this game. #Destiny2 #EyesUpGuardian

A board of black felt tabs with a series of heavy gold and bronze pins tacked onto the tabs.

Jakespeare’s Wrath@swashbucklr· Mar 2

Superplexis on TikTok just referred to the two new Pikachu costumes as “that weird Pokémon Go couple across the bar that likes your vibe,” and I can’t unthink it.

A male and female Pikachu dressed in white and purple vacation outfits

Jakespeare’s Wrath@swashbucklr· Feb 28

The opening still from the Twin Peaks credits, with a sign saying “welcome to Twin Peaks” next to a road. Instead of the title of an episode, the still says the name “Swashbucklr.”

Jakespeare’s Wrath@swashbucklr· Feb 27

I was wondering if I’d ever find a Dungeons and Dragons book at my local Savers, and where in the book section I’d find it. (It was in the Fantasy/Sci-Fi shelf.) Bonus Murderbot, too!

A pair of books, one a D&D adventure called Baldur’s Gate Descent into Avernus and the other called All Systems Red by Martha Wells.

Jakespeare’s Wrath@swashbucklr· Feb 17

Happy New Year to those celebrating the Year of the Ponyta. #LunarNewYear #YearOfTheHorse

Ponyta: a yellow horse with a mane and tail made of fire.

Jakespeare’s Wrath@swashbucklr· Jan 29

It’s more like this one these days.

A Gadsden flag parody with a coiled snake tied to a stake and a ball gag in its mouth. The words “oh please tread on me” are below the snake.

Jakespeare’s Wrath@swashbucklr· Jan 19

I set some sugar and 151 rum on fire!

A metal pot full of caramelized sugar that’s on fire.

Jakespeare’s Wrath@swashbucklr· Jan 9

Time to break out the Gadsden parody stash.

A femme anthropomorphic snake in a sexy pose on a yellow background with the words “don’t tread on me.”

Jakespeare’s Wrath@swashbucklr· Jan 8

Used this and some other coupons to buy a $60 item for $20. It’s wild how many coupons CVS stacks - it’s really what makes going there affordable.

A screenshot of CVS rewards totaling $30.58.

Jakespeare’s Wrath@swashbucklr· Jan 5

I should check for typos before replying next time, but I think they would get the point. Moulton needs to step up before he gets my vote.

Two text messages:

“Hi Jacob, this is Maria with Seth Moulton's US Senate campaign. Trump policies are hurting working families. The status quo isn't working. Seth is a Democrat who will lower costs for housing, healthcare, & energy & end tax breaks for the wealthy. Can Seth count on your vote? Reply 1 if yes, stop to quit”

“Tell Seth Moulton to stand up for transgender people like Marley [sic] does, and the. I'll consider it.”

Jakespeare’s Wrath@swashbucklr· Jan 3

We took my Mom to the TWA Hotel a few years ago, and they had a huge Solari board there. And were having a lot of fun with it!

A solari board at the TWA Hotel, displaying a 2D image of a plane flying across the board.

Jakespeare’s Wrath@swashbucklr· Jan 2

Obviously.