M

@swoletarian

Ojibwe, faggot, vegan, aspiring himbo 📍DC | 🏋🏼️‍♀️ | 🏛️🧬 Patent Examiner | 📸 @mjbellecourt

1.033 Folgt2.632 Follower3.045 Posts

Bluesky

gay

Ist das dein Profil?Übernimm es — dann gehört dir swoletarian.dirty.social.Profil übernehmen

M@swoletarian· 28d

i did admittedly burn my thumb on the dutch oven bc I'm not as coordinated as I'd like to be with one hand, but overall, #success

M@swoletarian· 29d

I'm the One Armed Baker

we wearing nothing but my apron and my sling and also hey that's my PA if you pay attention

Bulk fermented garlic rosemary sourdough in a banneton

M@swoletarian· 29d

let's see how well baking sourdough goes...

Bulk fermenting sourdough in a mixing bowl with my splinted hand in the foreground

M@swoletarian· Jul 17

smoke on the water

Photo of wildfire smoke blotting out the sun and the Arlington skyline, taken from the Charles F Fenwick Bridge across the Potomac

M@swoletarian· Jul 15

they gave me a block so my arm is complete dead weight rn. I hate it lol

M@swoletarian· Jul 15

a shattered metacarpal isn't gonna stop me from my annual Bastille Day traditions joyeux 14 juillet !🇫🇷

Tofu ratatouille with polenta, pesto sauce, and a vegan parmesan

M@swoletarian· Jul 14

I don't really *do* astrology but I've been pretty awol what with the shattered wrist, so may as well do the Meme du Jour.

Pantone birth chart palette
Leo Sun, solar gold, #F0A72E
Libra Moon, dusty orchid, #B68AA8
Scorpio Rising, burgundy smoke, #6C2F3F
Libra Venus, silk ballet, #E8B3C6

M@swoletarian· Jul 9

Oops!

Yeah that bone has completely shattered apart

I don't think pinkies are supposed to go that way

M@swoletarian· Jul 6

I was due for a deload anyway

in a sling and brace and not the sexy kind

M@swoletarian· Jul 5

always have frozen corn on hand

M@swoletarian· Jul 3

only ten months late or such but I finally got my 2025 COVID booster

M@swoletarian· Jul 2

find yourself a mans who cooks

spaghetti squash with tofu crumbles and broccolini

M@swoletarian· Jul 1

Absolutely insane that I only pulled this off after I stopped giving af and started rejecting almost all booking requests

"Way to go!
"Star Sitter [on Rover] status: ✅ achieved

"Congrats, Michael—you’ve qualified for Star Sitter status! You’ve gone above and beyond with your clients meeting all of the Star Sitter criteria."

M@swoletarian· Jun 28

Got my last Equinox lift in. Next week I'll be a Gold's girlie.

Shirtless, flexing my arm in front of an Equinox punching bag that I never used.

M@swoletarian· Jun 25

I watched a sport

Me and Friend posing at golden hour. Did I mention the jerseys are cropped?

Me and Friend 2 later, after golden hour, actually watching the game

M@swoletarian· Jun 21

I want to assume this is a joke but I cannot tempt fate by matching.

Hinge prompt: "My favorite LGBTQIA+-owned places."
Answer: "Palantir 😍"

M@swoletarian· Jun 20

gay pride

I'm shirtless on the streets of DC with the light sculpture of Florida and New York in the background. Also clearly drunk, my eyes are SO glazed over

M@swoletarian· Jun 18

Have you made it to the gym yet today?

Sitting on a mat in the studio, bicep flexed, dumbbell in the background.

despite the pose I was actually doing abduction when I snapped this one

M@swoletarian· Jun 18

In honor of Capitol Pride, I baked chocolate peanut butter pillows for my colleagues instead of sleeping last night.

I'm wearing nothing but a black apron as I flex my triceps. The cookies are cooking on the table.

Cookies in the midst of being prepared for baking. A few balls of peanut butter filling, bowl of chocolate dough, and a sheet of prepared pillows ready for the oven.

I provided a quasi-recipe in patent claim form because I am just that extra. It'd be a lot to type up for alt text so feel free to ask for a write-up if you need one.

Flexing my biceps and chest in the black apron. I am perfectly aware of what you can see in this photo, it's a deliberate gift to y'all.

M@swoletarian· Jun 17

I couldn't *not* take locker room selfies after having been smuggled into the Willard's sauna.

M@swoletarian· Jun 17

My commute.

Shirtless with a backpack and pink bike helmet with Washington's Penis in the background.

M@swoletarian· Jun 17

I sadly reside in the wrong ward to vote for her, but I did enjoy celebrating the Left's amazing campaign work with @aparnafordc.bsky.social and @mdcdsa.org tonight. thx for the chips and guac, Aparna

Shot of the crowd at the Aparna for DC “watch” party. The only watching we did was Algeria vs Argentina.

M@swoletarian· Jun 16

policymakers generally do not want to hear from me 🩵

Q: Is there anything else you want to share with us?

A: More efforts to actively make motorized driving *as unpleasant as possible* in order to drive people to more ecologically friendly modes of transit. This involves, of course, expanding public transit and bike infrastructure on top of those efforts to ensure needed capacity is present.

M@swoletarian· Jun 16

DC wake, up, and go vote for @cmlewisgeorgew4.bsky.social.

My ballot, being inserted into the dropbox.

M@swoletarian· Jun 14

Brunch 2

M@swoletarian· Jun 13

Brunch #1 of the weekend, ft. gay pool 🌊

Me in a pink speedo holding a strawberry mimosa.

M@swoletarian· Jun 6

You haven't brunced until you've done it in DC.

M@swoletarian· Jun 3

I was *hoping* my unemployment saga would end with my becoming a house husband himbo, but, well, I'm a working man again.

Professionalish head shot. Wearing a burgundy suit and black button up.

M@swoletarian· Jun 2

I did some light modding of my PIV lanyard.

A USPTO PIV and lanyard with a USAID lanyard extender.

M@swoletarian· May 31

Apparently I started my stopwatch and forgot to turn it off.