Sylvia

@sylvswarren

Academic Senior Associate Editor | Writes a bit | Views mine | (they/them) I will not upload my face or pay for VPNs, so no DMs

169 Folgt397 Follower830 Posts

Bluesky

Ist das dein Profil?Übernimm es — dann gehört dir sylvswarren.dirty.social.Profil übernehmen

Sylvia@sylvswarren· 13d

@rememberist.bsky.social gros bisous from worcester

Black cat on top of a fence post, judging

Sleepy black and white cat in a nest of fig leaves

Sylvia@sylvswarren· 29d

They were pretty shit drawings at first

Shitty sketch of a pub with a furled sun umbrella

Messy sketch of a gas lamp style light fitting

Sylvia@sylvswarren· Jul 6

you know you want to (also solidarity with sex workers, sometimes fiction dictates using metaphors you yourself would not for effect etc etc)

I throw up every morning in the communal bathroom. The light stretches in like a cat, soft and lean through the high windows. I work in the kitchen where the wooden countertops smell of bleach and blood and the starchy compost of peelings; the ceramic of the lavatory is scratched and stained piss-yellow, holding a film of bile of the night before. The flush comes bubbling up from the old pipes, rust and noises echoing my own throat, swirling the contents of my stomach down and down until it settles, clean and cool. I wash my hands, stroking the soap over dry cracked knuckles, re-draw my apron strings around my waist. I am a winter-maid.
The house is spacious, nestled in a depression within three hills, the lawns sloping down into forested inclines. The orchards and the vegetable gardens are hidden, but the grain fields abut the house like a sea of gold in autumn, now wet and stubbled like a whore’s cunt. We have the grain in sacks laid out like an old smoker’s nicotine-teeth in

Sylvia@sylvswarren· Mar 21

Me, whenever I get a stupid mod ban for "threatening violence" against billionaires

The Chick Tracts cartoon seties with Jesus in shadow and a bunch of people with a speech bubble "shut up!"

Caption: they hated Jesus because He told them the truth

Sylvia@sylvswarren· Mar 7

Plus otherwise this doll will need a new home

Absolutely fucking cursed looking doll, dead button eyes, weirdly leathery face, seriously she is a nightmare and I love her

Sylvia@sylvswarren· Jan 2

Truly embarrassing state of journalism jfc

Meme of DW from Arthur looking at a sign saying "that sign can't stop me because I can't read"

Sylvia@sylvswarren· Jan 1

Sticker said something transphobic on my morning walk, so I very helpfully fixed it for whoever put it there 😇 Happy New Year, everyone

Picture of a sticker on a lamp post of a little girl wearing a dress with the middle wording scratched out and "There ARE trans childREN" written in

Sylvia@sylvswarren· Dec 13

Go buy open pen anthology 2 (contains me, and I dont use the word cunt so you can give it to your granny)

Sylvia@sylvswarren· Dec 10

Picked this up on a whim for its first line in a bookshop (god they love to see a sucker coming) but I read it through in a couple of delicious hours. Tattoo "the sea is so withdrawn it is nothing but a promise you'd be mad to put your faith in" on my body, because it was already on my heart

Photo of the hardcover copy of Seascraper by Benjamin Wood: a pale grey wash of the sky with a milky sun, a grey green wash of the sea, and a sandy grey beach with a horse pulling a cart

Sylvia@sylvswarren· Dec 2

it was like this, but the lid had gone missing, it was just a light blue glass bottle with a vague scent of ozone

A photo of the davidoff cool water perfume bottle that is slightly bulbous on the base, a droplet design in the base, blue glass and a three-tiered metallic blue aeresoliser

Sylvia@sylvswarren· Nov 25

mate I was thinking the same donating these luscious items that just don't fit me any more and remembering the PURE ORANGE it developed into

Maybelline dream matte mousse colour chart; it's all white and the white was still orange

Sylvia@sylvswarren· Nov 24

Brings the family together

Screenshot of a whatsapp with my dad asking about where what appears to be hand lettered annotations to a circuit diagram come from given the lettering's similarity to comic book lettering, asking whether letraset, a known style, or a stencil

Sylvia@sylvswarren· Nov 16

From his multichromatic use of black pigments for "if you say black you should mean black" to portraying the American projects as a place of stifled but defiant hope, to what "the Academy" could be if it were less violently white

Sylvia@sylvswarren· Nov 13

The compulsory harassment in the workplace training was due tomorrow and as an enby I died laughing at their "transition" graphic

A corporate slide with the standard male female bathroom symbols, ie a skirted person and a trousered person, which also looks like someone with a windblown cape

A photo of me, a nonbinary person, where my coat blowing in the wind looks like the image HR decided transitioning should look like

Sylvia@sylvswarren· Oct 16

You are honestly so boring, my god. Also wrong, and also annoying.

Sylvia@sylvswarren· Sep 24

Yo pre-order for a best of a decade group of reprobates, ne'er do Wells, and professional writers

Announcement from Open Pen UK that they are printing their anthology this week, including me. Opepen.uk/shop for the preoder link

Sylvia@sylvswarren· Sep 21

Spiritually, I was always bespectacled

Photo of the poster wearing a black jumper, sitting inside a wooden set of logs wearing glasses

Sylvia@sylvswarren· Sep 8

Current state of the labour party, sir Keith can fuck right off and fuck off again

From Karyotakis' satirical political poem Preveza;

If at least among all these people
Just one were to die of disgust...
Silently sad, with respect
We would rejoice at his grave

Sylvia@sylvswarren· Sep 8

Reading Kostas Karyotakis and this resonated

Page that is titled "an opportune death"

I don't know what she wore on her head. Her clothes had neither form nor colour. She came into the office with two children in her arms and dragging four more, all of them crying or shouting. One tugged at her hair, another at her skirt. One boy of about three shook with a strange sobbing, without actually crying. All together they watched their mother like musicians the conductor; a frightful symphony. She, however, had left the score on yhe elegant cadhew-wood desk.
She stood wide eyed before us. Something like a forced laugh, a piteous grimace, was explained by what she said; she was Armenian, her husband had died in some village, and she'd come seeking bread for her children. Now she was begging for shelter. Someone who knew her language told her there wasn't any room, and since she didn't want to understand they put her out on the corridor. She lay down there with her children until Tuesday afternoon. The next day, the same story, she came again many times.
Finally, they shoved her into a storehouse. Thirty refugee families already living there had divided it up into separate households with fantastic improvised walls, crates, strung up blankets, bits of wood set in rows, formed little squares, the pugnacious [cont in next image]

[Cont from previous image] boundaries of last defence. In these nests, sorry shades of humanity stirred or lay still. Groups of three, four, or five amongst filthy rags and remains of furniture seemed to whisper fairytale, or try weakly to ward off the darkness.
Now, the storehouse was lit by a candle: some bundle, wrapped in clean white cloth had been laid carefully down against the wall. It was the smallest of the Armenian woman's six children, and it had died a few hours after they'd found their place here. It's brothers and sisters were playing outside in the sunshine. The mother, now relieved of her burden, had held her baby for the last time. The other women envied her: tomorrow she could look for work. She's almost lucky. And the dead child, so dignified, waits

Sylvia@sylvswarren· Aug 23

Letting lies out whilst not allowing people to access the truth is wrong. I don't care that it was done by the previous government, implementing it now was a choice, I haven't voted Labour since Corbyn and I will not do so again

A sub reddit called isr*li crimes that has the UK age verification on it

The UK asking me again to provide my passport because me aged 33, am apparently under 18?????

Gross Israeli meme available without verification

Sylvia@sylvswarren· Aug 23

My MP gave a boilerplate response, I provide receipts be our public servants. Cunts. (Yes there is a typo on your and you're, I had to use my phone to screenshot, go away)

Sylvia@sylvswarren· Aug 17

A view from the top of one of the Malvern hills in Worcestershire. Brown grass, green gorse, then rolling hills, some wooded and some grassy, fading into a blue sky scudded with clouds

A picture of a table from above, covered with an embroidered tablecloth of olives and urns. Dappled light covers it. One bowl of black olives, pickled garlic, artichoke; a wicker basket lined with a dark blue tea towel that half covers some fresh bread rolls; a platter of pink and yellow beetroot carpaccio

Bubbles on the edge of the river causing small starbursts of light to glitter across the riverbed, which is sandy and shallow

Blue sky going into a mix of willow and other trees across a river with ripples moving out where I am wading in before swimming

Sylvia@sylvswarren· Aug 10

I used to dream that I grew up here because I always loved landscapes, then I found out about the money-coutts and I still wish I could just be seven and this being mu playgound

A sunlit view over a lake with a stone bridge, in the background a folly of a temple, light glancing over the lake, grown-in oak and other British trees nestling around the folly, in the lake everything is reflected

Sylvia@sylvswarren· Jul 19

Got rained on so hard I had to go and buy emergency replacement clothes in a charity shop, decided to "pop" into a fave used bookshop, and accidentally came out with ten books for under £20

View of a used book shop with shelves along every wall, shelves above a doorway entering into another room of shelves, all crammed with books

A different room of thr same bookshop with shelves in the middle of the room, lining the room, and going into an alcove also lined with shelves and a stepladder to reach the high books

Sylvia@sylvswarren· Jul 15

Laughing madly at the waitrose magazine recommending Bold Bean Co at four quid a jar at least when I get this plus jarred beans at my local polski sklep and get all the gossip about the cashier's medical history and can make friends