Tallulah Bunkbed (@tallulahbunkbed) · DIRTY

Tallulah Bunkbed

@tallulahbunkbed

Basically, a cat toy. I'm the Artemisia Gentileschi of swearing. No crypto or MAGA. Peddle that shit somewhere else. Divorce your MAGA husband. He secretly hates you.

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Tallulah Bunkbed@tallulahbunkbed· 11d

Today's art projects: onion jam (going into the pantry), beet pickling brine (also going into the pantry), chicken stock (going into the freezer), and banana muffins (bananas out of the freezer and into the husband)

In the foreground, a cutting board covered with diced onions next to a plate of onions yet to be diced. In the background, beet brine steeps next to a slow cooker simmering chicken stock, which is next to banana muffins cooling on a wire rack.

Tallulah Bunkbed@tallulahbunkbed· 16d

New neighbors, seem friendly

In a window in a house across the street, a cardboard figure gazes out a window. A few feet away on the porch, a blackened skeleton waves to passersby.

Tallulah Bunkbed@tallulahbunkbed· 18d

Post a perfect album from the 90s that isn’t nirvana, soundgarden, pearl jam or Alice In Chains

Cover image of PJ Harvey's album To Bring You My Love, including Polly Jean Harvey in a red evening dress floating like Ophelia

Tallulah Bunkbed@tallulahbunkbed· 20d

Today's art project: dill pickles

Three jars of cucumber pickles looking like they put out an album with Herman's Hermits.

Tallulah Bunkbed@tallulahbunkbed· 22d

Lulu's TOES

A fluffy tuxedo cat snoozing on a pillow ignores the Tour de France on the TV and shows many toe beans.

Tallulah Bunkbed@tallulahbunkbed· Jul 14

With Lulu snoozing in the spot on the couch previously occupied by the late, lovely Pirate Wednesday, the transition from junior cat to only cat is complete.

Lulu, a tuxedo cat, snoozes in a corner of the couch previously claimed by Wednesday, who crossed the Rainbow Bridge three weeks ago.

Tallulah Bunkbed@tallulahbunkbed· Jul 12

Today's art project: golden beets with onion, both from the CSA

Three small jars filled with golden beets and onions rest on a wooden cutting board in a sunny, late afternoon kitchen. They look like they're three guys on a fun road trip.

Tallulah Bunkbed@tallulahbunkbed· Jul 6

Today's art project: cranberry mostarda

Close up action photo of 8 oz jars full of goopy red stuff cooling on a small plastic cutting board.

Tallulah Bunkbed@tallulahbunkbed· Jun 29

Jarring season started with blueberry jam

Eight ounce jars of blue goo sit on a bright green cutting board in an equally bright green kitchen. It's not as appalling as it sounds.

Tallulah Bunkbed@tallulahbunkbed· Jun 28

Half the story

Half a tiny, empty eggshell on a crusty sidewalk.

Tallulah Bunkbed@tallulahbunkbed· Jun 22

Here, have a picture of baby Lulu. She thinks you're keen

A very tiny tuxedo kitten lies upside down on a couch, her paws in the air. She is also curved in adorable directions, and may be asleep like this. You know how kittens are.

Tallulah Bunkbed@tallulahbunkbed· Jun 8

once woke up to tiny baby Lulu clawing my throat and got all teary like, "Awwww, Mommy's little murder monster"

An adorable tuxedo kitten sprawls upside down on a couch with some toes facing the camera. She may be asleep. She almost doesn't look homicidal.

Tallulah Bunkbed@tallulahbunkbed· May 31

First attempt at scallion pancakes, which we ate in the interest of SCIENCE!

On the left side of a small cutting board, a rustic scallion pancake looks a little pale and should be thinner. On the right side, a small bowl of scallion dipping sauce is thinking of taking up smoking.

Tallulah Bunkbed@tallulahbunkbed· May 28

It's Wednesday night. Please enjoy Lulu's toe beans

Lulu, a tuxedo kitty, snoozes atop a cheesy looking pillow spread out on a coffee table. Mostly visible is her butt, but what is adorable is the bottom of three of her feet. Her toe beans are white and black and every one looks a little different.

Tallulah Bunkbed@tallulahbunkbed· May 25

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh

The whole peloton heads for the corner directly in front of you. It's a little scary.

The peloton turns the corner moving to your right at breakneck speed.

Tallulah Bunkbed@tallulahbunkbed· May 25

Several laps later, and from the other side of the street

Women are racing on bicycles.

More women, different bicycles.

Tallulah Bunkbed@tallulahbunkbed· May 25

Women's Professional Race, Tour of Somerville, NJ

Tallulah Bunkbed@tallulahbunkbed· May 23

Lulu inspects the new bathmat which looks like I murdered a Muppet for its fuzzy pelt

Tallulah Bunkbed@tallulahbunkbed· May 22

Adorable Wednesday, brilliant and ferocious, is also "mildly vision impaired," and supervises my days.

A blind black cat sits on a couch and is paying attention to everything you do.

Tallulah Bunkbed@tallulahbunkbed· May 11

Clean! Organized! What have I done with the real me

The aforementioned junk drawer clean and organized. The left side of the drawer contains an impressive collection of knives and the right side contains all the bamboo skewers in the whole world.

Tallulah Bunkbed@tallulahbunkbed· May 11

THE JUNK DRAWER IS EMPTY REPEATING THE JUNK DRAWER IS EMPTY

An empty drawer in a bright green kitchen. It smells like lemony cleaning fluid.

Tallulah Bunkbed@tallulahbunkbed· Apr 29

Breakfast cream cheese and olives on Triscuits why am I like this

A left hand holds a Triscuit laden with gooey cream cheese mixed with chopped green olives.

Tallulah Bunkbed@tallulahbunkbed· Apr 16

Unlike other tummies Lulu's isn't a trap

Lulu, a tuxedo cat, lies on her side on a welcome mat in afternoon sunlight. Her black and white tummy is fully visible and completely adorable.

Tallulah Bunkbed@tallulahbunkbed· Apr 13

You've had a Monday and I'm sorry here have some lovely buds

A large plant near my house has pointed oval leaves and bright pink flower buds, giving us the feeling that spring is about to go big.

Tallulah Bunkbed@tallulahbunkbed· Apr 12

Money-saving device

Clothes hang on a square clothesline, mosty upside down. In the background, suburban houses limit the breeze.

Tallulah Bunkbed@tallulahbunkbed· Apr 5

I had legs now Lulu has them

A tuxedo cat looking to your right is resting with crossed paws on a lumpy pile of gray blankets and legs.

Tallulah Bunkbed@tallulahbunkbed· Apr 2

Biggest gift bag in the dollar store could fit an Irish setter

A very, very large gold foil gift bag with a diamond pattern, lying on a table and photographed terribly. Really, we should both be embarrassed.

Tallulah Bunkbed@tallulahbunkbed· Apr 1

Sprucing up the gutter garden with reused twine and butcher knots

Five stacked tiers of a homemade gutter garden. Each gutter tier is filled with soil and tied with twine and zip ties for stability. It's rickety!

Tallulah Bunkbed@tallulahbunkbed· Mar 30

One is the loneliest onion that you ever knew

A small onion lying on a sidewalk, bridging the divide between pavement and grass.

Tallulah Bunkbed@tallulahbunkbed· Mar 25

I need to buy new slippers, and send -

Two smiling fuzzy green slippers, one face up, one face down. Both top and bottom are worse for wear.