Tart Attack

@tartattack

he/him | posting laffs and japes without thinking too much about it pfp: Aert Schouman black cockatoo | banner: Walter Crane illustration of Beauty and the Beast

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Bluesky

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Tart Attack@tartattack· 13d

A photo of a marmot loafing around, taken by Laura Green. The photo caption: "The research team shares photos and videos of marmots on OnlyFans to educate viewers about their behaviors."

Tart Attack@tartattack· Jun 1

lotta fake fans around here showing they don't respect John Carpenter's feelings about remakes

Excerpt from a Guardian interview with John Carpenter: https://www.theguardian.com/music/2017/oct/10/john-carpenter-interview-anthology-film-scores

INTERVIEWER: Robert Rodriguez is set to remake Escape From New York and there’s another Halloween project coming in 2018. How do you feel about people remaking your films?

CARPENTER: I love it, if they are going to pay me money. If they pay me, it’s wonderful. If they don’t pay me, I don’t care. I think it’s unfair if they don’t pay me. I think everyone should pay me. Why not? I’m an old guy now and I need money. Send me money.

Tart Attack@tartattack· May 23

Jamiroquai - Virtual Insanity music video shot

Tart Attack@tartattack· May 20

finding out this is the name of a real legal firm, and not a hastily conceived team of "Powerless Rangers" created by Rita Repulsa to battle do-gooders

Text excerpt showing "the firm Skadden, Arps, Slate, Meagher & Flom"

Tart Attack@tartattack· May 16

Discord post by Blunderbuss (whose pfp is a little grinning robot with sunglasses and a cigar):

I refuse to judge my art by popular appeal
alt-tab, new post, "J Deez Salinger"

Tart Attack@tartattack· May 14

Ray from Achewood saying "Daaamn! That answer could use some work!" (the dialogue text is mildly distorted by AI upscaling)

Tart Attack@tartattack· May 11

Tim Curry as the butler in Clue, speaking the quoted dialogue.

Tart Attack@tartattack· Apr 22

Zeta Gundam is a show about gender and slapping with giant robots and space politics as distant afterthoughts

Shot from Mobile Suit Zeta Gundam, of a uniformed man slapping another across the face.

Tart Attack@tartattack· Apr 5

I was liking Zeta Gundam alright but I cannot tell you how much the show improves when this guy crashes in on episode 24 and cranks the dial all the way up on villainous belligerence, treachery, and homoeroticism

Anime shot of Yazan Gable, a severe-looking blonde man with tall hair, wearing a military uniform.

Tart Attack@tartattack· Mar 11

to understand how patient my friends are, you first gotta understand that the most unusual thing about this message is that the timestamp isn't 1 AM

Discord message from "Blunderbuss" at timestamp 21:14:

fucking pissed at hte kimono manga
if you're going to threaten that the boyfriend is being transferred to Tokyo, why the fuck, why the FUCK would you BEFOREHAND reveal to us that the kimono shop she works at is considering opening a Tokyo branch??
you had to fucking reassure me that she would just move along with him before I experienced one NANOSECOND of melancholy????

Tart Attack@tartattack· Mar 3

me and the homies walking out of the A Better Tomorrow screening

A shot from John Woo's film "A Better Tomorrow" (1986). A pack of stylish besuited Chinese men, who are definitely gangsters, strut out from a commercial building looking cool as hell.

Tart Attack@tartattack· Feb 28

GAMEFREAK NEO: why does my environmental modeling team hurt GAMEFREAK MORPHEUS: you've never used them before

Comparison of landscape screenshots showing Pokemon Scarlet/Violet against a preview of the upcoming Pokemon Wind/Waves. The Scarlet/Violet is somewhat barren and artificial looking, while the newer game looks much more detailed (and prettier).

Tart Attack@tartattack· Jan 27

watched Hard Boiled in theaters tonight. friends I have resisted this stance as long as it was feasible. but I cannot deny the evidence before my eyes. contemporary action filmmakers have no fucking idea what is cool anymore and we need to RETVRN

Shot from "Hard Boiled" (1992). Chow Yun-fat and Tony Leung stick enormous pistols in each other's faces, in front of brightly illuminated smoke.

Tart Attack@tartattack· Jan 16

Huh, weird, because actually after reading it seems like the MOST helpful frame is that WAS a hard-right project from the start, and that you were a fucking credulous imbecile for believing the free speech narrative was anything but the world's most obvious Trojan Horse

"The second question: Was UATX a hard-right project from the start? Based on my reporting, I don't think it was. I was struck by the sincerity of the commitment to free speech and open inquiry from so many of the people with whom I spoke. A few were Trump supporters, but many more were best identified as anti-woke moderates or liberals. The university's saga has a strong sense of historical contingency - that it could have gone quite differently had some high-leverage moments gone otherwise. A notable example is the episode surrounding Dan's alleged violation and expulsion, which several former staffers and faculty suggested was exploited by the Straussians as evidence of dysfunction in their successful second coup attempt.

"A more helpful frame for making sense of this story is the one described by Michael Strambler in the article Avishai reposted prior to her firing: the near irresistible temptation humans feel to become convinced of the correctness of their positoins. But certainty is incompatible with democracy and the academy, explains Ilana Redstone, a professor of sociology at the Universoty of Illinois Urbana-Campaign; she is also a co-founder of the Mill Institute and was briefly associated with UATX."

Tart Attack@tartattack· Jan 11

holy fuck man I forgot that muffs the clothing item are real. I should get one. but I shouldn't because I would never stop messing around with it like a big warm fidget toy

Illustration of a muff, the handwarming fabric sleeve, from five angles.

Tart Attack@tartattack· Jan 3

like, all of them

Screenshot of a Reddit thread from r/TrueFilm titled "Movies for lonely people?"

Tart Attack@tartattack· Dec 28

we've gone too far

A can of cannabis-infused Pabst Blue Ribbon lemon seltzer

Tart Attack@tartattack· Dec 17

I don't know how well regarded Aura Battler Dunbine is in the Tomino canon, but I do know that every time someone in a tunic pulls out a Glock I lose my mind

Shot from the 1983 anime "Aura Battler Dunbine". A man in a pink tunic sits on the ground in front of a stone wall, wiping his brow and pulling a modern pistol out of his pants.

Tart Attack@tartattack· Dec 10

Panel from the webcomic Kill Six Billion Demons. The character Maya, a bald woman in a monklike robe, looks flummoxed and upset. Probably because she frequently in the comic asks other characters "What do you think about death?"

Tart Attack@tartattack· Dec 10

from the Discord files

A Discord chatlog.
Anonymous: "Entirely unrelated question: what meaning does the watermelon emoji hold for you"
Blunderbuss: "pro-Palestine"
Anaonymous: "Just that? Or anything else?"
Blunderbuss: "well, watermelon. now I feel like I'm missing the lore on some hot new sexual act"

Tart Attack@tartattack· Dec 9

anime... is good

Shot from the 1994 anime OVA "Armored Trooper VOTOMS: Brilliantly Shining Heresy". A man in fancy priestly robes brandishes a pistol, saying "Embrace death in the name of the Pope."

Tart Attack@tartattack· Dec 8

more from Panzer World Galient: it rules when a show doesn't want to show any blood, so instead they show a character death via writhing disintegration in a field of unearthly light. way less traumatizing for the kids watching

Shot from the 1984 anime "Panzer World Galient". A man in a cape reaches out in pain and is turned into a sketchy red silhouette amidst green light.

Tart Attack@tartattack· Dec 7

the villain of Panzer World Galient hangs out naked in an enormous bong to "expand his perception" and honestly, goals

Shot from the 1984 anime Panzer World Galient. In a futuristic chamber, a naked man is suspended in liquid within a curvy glass container that resembles a bong.

Tart Attack@tartattack· Nov 24

A bald man narrowing his eyes in frustrated disgust, i.e. the image from the meme Onion news article headlined "Heartbreaking: The Worst Person You Know Just Made a Great Point"

Tart Attack@tartattack· Nov 22

Resuming my VOTOMS anime journey with the Armor Hunter Mellowlink OVA and it seems amazingly pure: every episode is about this dude hunting down an evil guy and killing him. That's the show. He dramatically swipes lines of blood across his face every ep too. All action, no distraction

Screencap from the 1988 anime "Armor Hunter Mellowlink". A man wearing goggles and a green cloak holds a bullet in his mouth while he loads an enormous rifle. A silver mecha looms behind.

Tart Attack@tartattack· Nov 18

Liam Neeson slop becoming so listless that Netflix promo is just him poking the ground with a stick and being unhappy about it

Netflix banner for "The Marksman" (2021). Liam Neeson in outdoor wear with a walking stick standing next to a kid, with a forest lazily photoshopped in behind.

Tart Attack@tartattack· Nov 1

watching this now as a palate cleanser to end my spooky October strong. have a great Halloween night y'all!

Movie poster for "Phantasm III: Lord of the Dead" (1994). A tall man in a black suit stands in front of a graveyard, while a huge menacing spiked sphere fills the background.

Tart Attack@tartattack· Nov 1

watched. sucked. suggesting a concept is not enough, you need to actually show us the interesting part

Movie poster for "Resolution" (2013). Film strip depicting two men standing in front of a burning cabin, with a skull shape visible in the flames.

Tart Attack@tartattack· Oct 31

watching. holy fuck the depictions of mass shootings are vivid, I am surprised this movie is not talked about more in our insane age

Movie poster for "Gold Told Me To" (1976). Collaged illustrations of a man holding a rifle over a city skyline, a cop and other human figures, eerie eyes hanging over everything.

Tart Attack@tartattack· Oct 30

watching. always room for more Vincent Price in my Octobers