The American Jerk
@theamericanjerk
I'm not answering any Goddamned questions without my lawyer here.
My friend Parker wants me to tell everyone he's a city cat, from just outside of Boston, MA.
My buddy Parker tells me he's sorry you're having a hard time, but he loves seeing pictures of, and hearing stories about, Scott, Maggie, Esther, Theo and Zelda, so he's happy that you exist.
Just bought a new 4K player and saw this for the first time watching a Marvel / Sony disc. The first time you see it, you get Accept and Skip as options. You need to select setup and Data Usage to get the option to actually disable data collection. Sony Pictures and Marvel can suck a bag of them.
My buddy Parker wants to say that his dad was Riff in West Side Story back in high school drama club, so he understands the reference, and approves.
Post a perfect album from the 90s that isn't Nirvana, Pearl Jam or Alice in Chains.
stop scrolling and post two characters who bring you happiness
I will defend democracy and vote in the midterms, for which I am eligible. Parker would as well, but he is not eighteen, and is a cat.
Stuffin, my buddy Parker and I hope your Mum feels better soon.
We all do our best, but when you're in a jam, you're in a jam. No one here's gonna judge you for opting for reliable 2-day delivery during an crisis. That's like, I dunno, demanding you do a background check on a blood donor before an emergency transfusion. Parker sends a boop toward a better day.
My buddy Parker says to do what he does when we come home from vacation: meow excitedly for a few minutes, then leave in a huff for half an hour so they know you're upset. Then come back for cuddles, because she missed you just as much as your missed her.
I posted this elsewhere yesterday, but Parker loves coconut and butternut donuts. BTW, your cats are adorable, and I enjoy your pictures and videos of them very much.
Parker's feeling a little off today, so he'd like a couple of broiled fish tacos with mild picante sauce. As usual, I could use a few ice cold Dos Equis beers. Good to have you and McQ back!
Post a logo, emblem, or title (with its original font) that remains as perfect today as when it was new.
Flash, if your mom misses North Shore food, reviewed in the Masshole accent with all profanity included, Parker asked me to recommend this YouTube channel. youtu.be/vpkZLU-f7l8?...
My buddy Parker and I wish you the best birthday you can have.
The sequel by the same novelization / screenwriter also does not suck.
I know I'm supposed to pick a James Bond from photos I already have on my phone, but I'm afraid my buddy Parker insists that he's actually Batman.
My buddy Parker told me he thinks this is beautiful, Sam. He tells me he feels better knowing, when his day at the bridge eventually comes, that Charlie will be there to show him the ropes. Thanks.
This is my friend Parker. There are many like him, but this one is mine. (Well, he's really more @scoop-adw.bsky.social's, but you get my meaning.)
All the best. My pal Parker looks forward to seeing you soon.
Know it well, this is my buddy Parker looking out on a street just off of Moody, by the fire station, from when he and I were much younger. We're in North Waltham now, near the old, lamented Wal-Lex Bowling. Please tell your lady always nice to meet a fellow Walthamite.
Flash, your lady must be at least a former local, as old school Kelly's is the OG North Shore beef ideal. My buddy Parker and I send greetings from Waltham.
Parker is just hungry for a couple of fish tacos, but I, his dad, have had a brutal week, and hope you'll send a bunch of cold Dos Equis beer to make the night. You and McQ work hard, but rest assured, you always bring a smile to our faces. Thanks in advance!
Parker has been told you like black cats, and tells me he's looking out for you, and hopes things improve for you.