The Cherry Swamp
@thecherryswamp
Satirization without Representation. 🍒Washington DC satire news Join our team! Apply here: #satire #politics #humor #comedy
"Straight out of central casting" doesn't mean guaranteed work, in this economy.
"Straight out of central casting" doesn't mean guaranteed work, in this economy.
Preceded in death by Lindsey Graham, turns out this is a two-for-one special
"Sources in the White House claim President Trump was devastated to lose another blatant corruption bestie so quickly."
"I just need to know who's the #1 seed in the AP coaches poll... How hard is that?"
"Is that why you have more flavors of Mountain Dew than affordable doctors?" one asked as he entered a Waffle House for the seventh time.
"PM Brentry and Brexit are now much more efficient," said the Downing Street Press Secretary.
Writing in the New England Journal of Product Labels, the team of 12 international soap scientists explained that in the future, they may be able to put even more words on top of the existing words, but that technology is still 10-20 years away.
A bunch of sweaty, shirtless guys wrestling each other? During Pride? What did they expect?
“My nubby little arch needs to be bigger,” Trump complained to White House staff while Melania violently nodded in the background.
"No one's doing more to solve the affordability crisis caused by Biden beginning the Iran war"
“100% chance of stomping, then potential for scattered shrieking when they jump at your face” - @capitalweather
When asked about the ruling, Trump's attorney said "We're gonna give it another shot. Wait, no, not like that!"
"It's not slacking, it's boosting morale," argues Capitol Hill woman. "I gotta go, Linh Mai's taking a bath!"
Next time, try one of these instead of "What do you do?" and let us know how it goes!