The ol' ALFer

@theolalfer

Stuck on Earth with the humans. That's OK. I like humans. I like their cats better. Not the real ALF, just parody, all respect to Paul Fusco and Alien Productions. Mastodon: @theolalfer@tenforward.social Author's personal account: @john-pilgrim.bsky.social

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The ol' ALFer@theolalfer· 2d

A meme. At top, a yellow bunch of bananas, with the words "15 days at the supermarket" beside them. At bottom, bananas that have blackened, with the words "2 hours at my house" beside them.

The ol' ALFer@theolalfer· 5d

// So I'm cleaning out my ALF folder. This one was done by @mkupperman.bsky.social I think.

A cartoon, titled "Before M.I.L.F.s... ...there was A.L.F.!" In the first panel, we see ALF behind Willie's chair or couch(?). The caption reads: "When A.L.F. premiered in 1986, its title character was the sexiest thing ever seen on TV. He inspired mad lust." In the second panel, we see a television set with ALF on it, with a round hole in the screen, and cracks coming from it. The caption reads: ""I would murder everyone I know to do it with that thing," raved Bill Bowl in TV Guide. "Ungghh! Horniness clouding brain!!!!" claimed Dick Girdle in the New York Times, right before he fatally injured himself trying to have sex with his TV set." In the third panel, ALF is still behind Willie's couch, but some hands are reaching for him, and muzzles of guns are seen pointing at him. He looks shocked, with his hands up. The caption reads: "But after several years the American people finally tired of ALF. As they tire of everything. And in the final episode he was taken by military scientists to be dissected." In the fourth panel, the caption reads: "And what did they find inside? A HUMAN HAND." The picture shows the ALF puppet cut open, with a cut-off hand inside.

The ol' ALFer@theolalfer· 5d

Happy to help, sir.

The ol' ALFer@theolalfer· 12d

Is this about that, two blocks over, Kitten playing in the clover? Its little mewing voice to be heard not ever more? Quoth the ALFer: Nevermore.

A kitty in the clover, peeking out. A gray tabby. I'M SURE IT'S FINE

The ol' ALFer@theolalfer· 12d

The ol' ALFer@theolalfer· 13d

It's 150 days until Christmas 2026. Think of it this way: by the time Christmas comes, we'll have had elections already. There, that's not so bad, right? Oh - in the picture we see the text 150 Days Until Christmas and a couple of elves on the shelves, an animated reindeer, cat, and dog.

The ol' ALFer@theolalfer· 14d

I want to know why I have to wait so long to see the puppets. This is kinda making me mad.

Promotional image of Captain Christopher Pike from Star Trek: Strange New Worlds, as a puppet. I've inserted ALF, and the text by him reads 'let's fight', and the text by Pike says 'ok bitch'.

The ol' ALFer@theolalfer· 15d

23. "Donald Trump's The Art of the Deal: The Movie" (2016, ...). Probably the most questionable thing here. My list is for televised things, and this was created for the internet, but it did air on Netflix per Wikipedia, so I'll include it. A satire of Trump by Funny or Die.

An image from IMDb. ALF appears at a wedding, giving a speech.

The ol' ALFer@theolalfer· 15d

13. "The Love Boat: The Next Wave" (1999, UPN). ALF appeared in the first season episode "Trances of a Lifetime". A ventriloquist is hired to entertain, but when a disagreement over his fee occurs, he leaves the guests and crew hypnotized. ALF appears as a doll talking to a little girl.

I can't find any video of this, and only just this picture, which appears at the ALF Wiki at Fandom. That's ALF at right, in case you weren't sure. At left, I don't know. She's only identified as "Nicole's daughter".

The ol' ALFer@theolalfer· 15d

9. "The Today Show" (1990, NBC). ALF appears on the January 1 show, as a co-host. I don't have any video of this and am still researching this one.

ALF on the Today show, with Gene Shalit (left) and Bryant Gumbel. And yes, that's ALF in the middle. Looks like he's got a dress shirt on, or perhaps a suit? Can't tell, kinda blurry.

The ol' ALFer@theolalfer· 15d

6. "40th Primetime Emmy Awards" (1989, ABC). I'm still researching this, but it appears ALF made an appearance (not just as a nominee).

A Getty image. The caption notes it is from the Disney/ABC archives. ALF is on stage at the 40th Primetime Emmy Awards in Pasadena, August 28, 1988. The caption also notes that ALF is the one on the right, in case you're confused.

The ol' ALFer@theolalfer· 22d

I have unhappy memories.

A cartoon, uncertain of source. I couldn't find a copy of it online? I don't see any identification of an artist in the pic itself. Anyway, two guys in dark suits and shades, one white and one black, are holding up ALF, or perhaps a different Melmacian, but probably ALF, right? The black guy has a weapon, a gun of some sort, pointed at our hero. He says: "Hands up, alien! State your business here on our planet." And the Melmacian responds: "Hold on! I've been here before. I even have a human family! Got any cats ... *ahem* snacks?" Because that's our ALF, always thinking with one of his stomachs.

The ol' ALFer@theolalfer· 23d

I mean, I included Cindy Margolis, ALF's Hit Talk Show and Impractical Jokers, so we can include other talk show appearances like "Today", "GMA", "Jimmy Kimmel Live!", "The O'Reilly Factor", "Talk Soup"... I guess it just depends on whether you are including those as TV show performances.

A black and white image of ALF with Jimmy Kimmel, found on a websearch. The caption identifies it as Jimmy Kimmel KRT Photograph by Byran Cohen/ABC Inc.

The ol' ALFer@theolalfer· 23d

Was talking about this earlier today with some friends: what single actor/performer has performed a character in more TV shows than Paul Fusco as ALF? This is a conservative list, no specials like "Project ALF" here. ALF didn't ever disappear.

Paul Fusco and ALF. ALF has been on "ALF", "ALF: The Animated Series", "ALF Tales", "Matlock", "The New Hollywood Squares" from the 1980s, "Blossom", "The Love Boat: The Next Wave", "The Cindy Margolis Show", "Hollywood Squares" (from the late 90s-2000s), "ALF's Hit Talk Show", "Saturday Night Live" (non-spoken cameo but Paul was there), "Mr. Robot", "Young Sheldon", "Duncanville", "The Simpsons", "Impractical Jokers" - not including things like "The O'Reilly Factor", "Good Morning America", "Jimmy Kimmel Live!", or "Project ALF", maybe others?

The ol' ALFer@theolalfer· 23d

How about Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip? Kind of melodramatic at times, but entertaining.

The ol' ALFer@theolalfer· 23d

Yes.

The ol' ALFer@theolalfer· 24d

Something I saved from my ALF files, and maybe my highest liked post when I played ALF over on the dark side. The identification "TIMT.09" is I assume the creator, but I could learn nothing else. The picture is a drawing of ALF on the phone, and behind him Scully, holding handcuffs and pointing angrily at ALF, and Mulder, who has drawn a gun and is running towards ALF. I was thinking about posting it again as it's well drawn, and here's my buddy Reppy giving me an excuse to. Ain't he nice like that?

The ol' ALFer@theolalfer· 24d

I'm double fisting it already!

An oft-used picture (by me) of ALF, apparently sleeping in the Tanner pass-through window between the kitchen and dining area. In his right hand is a brown bottle of some unknown substance. I've added in a picture of something called "Hola Willy" porter, which is in my ALF file and I'm uncertain of whether or not it represents a real product, but what the hey.

The ol' ALFer@theolalfer· 25d

HA! Fortunately I don't share your belief system!

ALF, at the dining room table, wearing his blue and white Barry vestments, expounding on a Barry proverb, no doubt.

The ol' ALFer@theolalfer· 27d

No idea who created it, but something from my ALF file. ALF stands in front of the TARDIS dressed something like Matt Smith's Doctor, with a red fez and brown jacket over a dress shirt with a bow tie. Behind him is Amy Pond, looking surprised. The caption reads: REGENERATION and subtitle reads The Doctor Never Knows What He'll End Up With.

The ol' ALFer@theolalfer· 28d

You may not know this, but I was the Pi Doctor, briefly seen between three and four.

The OP's picture of the various Doctors of Doctor Who, one through eleven plus the "War Doctor". I've added an image of ALF in front.

The ol' ALFer@theolalfer· Jul 13

🙋🙋‍♀️🙋‍♂️

A New Yorker cartoon. A person at right is holding a platter with a cat sitting on it. There are three people, perhaps guests, on the sofa. The caption reads "Cat, anyone?".

The ol' ALFer@theolalfer· Jul 10

This Schrödinger guy made a box that's just like a casino game on Melmac! HA, HA HA HA!

Not sure who created this, really doesn't look like me, but I saved it so you can blame my poor taste if you want. We see ALF on the phone, in a grayscale and somewhat blurred picture. At the top the caption reads: What's up Schrödinger! What happened to the cat? It's for a friend, you know...

The ol' ALFer@theolalfer· Jul 10

// Unfortunate this is no longer selling. I think it could help the guys from @alfsplaining.bsky.social out in their quest to find out what ALF smells like.

A real candle that I believe once sold on Etsy, called "Essence of ALF". Tragically it no longer sells there. The store is identified at the left of the candle label, Happy Goat Thoughts, which I gather is now Happy Goat Craft Co. (https://www.etsy.com/shop/HappyGoatCraftCo). The label identifies the scent as "notes of long distance phone charges, your kitchen on fire, and a missing cat". The label also shows ALF, holding an unhappy cat in his left hand.

The ol' ALFer@theolalfer· Jul 10

Here we see ALF on the set of his animated ALF show, writing his memories of Melmac at his typewriter. The caption reads: T.G.I.F. (and) Thank Gordon It's Friday. BTW I love this set. Pee Wee's might be a little more colorful but there aren't too many others that are one up on our ALF.

The ol' ALFer@theolalfer· Jul 10

I haven't really found many books that I like.

A book cover for "101 Fun & Petty Ways to Annoy Your Cat"

The ol' ALFer@theolalfer· Jul 10

Willie, I don't want to alarm you, but it's like Kate says: a bored ALF is a dangerous ALF.

Willie, in his third-favorite plaid shirt, is sitting on the couch reading something we can't see. Kate, sitting on the edge of the couch, reads over his shoulder. Neither of them look pleased. ALF, hands on the couch's armrest, looks over Willie's other shoulder.

The ol' ALFer@theolalfer· Jul 9

OK, this is a four-panel cartoon. I don't know a lot about the creator. There is a page on DeviantArt (https://www.deviantart.com/catgirlcorps/gallery) and a Twitter page that hasn't posted in nearly four years. The cartoon is called "The Catgirl Corps" and subtitled "Aliens Lacking Food". In the first panel, we see a catgirl, wearing a pink dress costume and having blue hair. She says "Commander, the damaged ship's crew has been recovered, and they are on their way up to the bridge." Someone out of frame responds: "Send a team to meet them." In the second panel, a team of three catgirls, holding gun-like weapons, are standing there, while off-panel, someone says "Wow does it feel great to be off that ship. I am so sick of e-rations. I wonder if they got any cats to eat on this ship..." and someone else says "There were cat emblems everywhere on that drone shuttle they sent over. I bet they've got loads of cats here. Well! Look what we have here...". In the third panel, we see three Melmacians, wearing gold uniform tops with dark blue V-necks. They all look surprised. One says "Oh! Hey there ladies. I'm Captain Frank. Thanks for the rescue. We're from Melmac 2. Nice ship you got here. Everything looks del-- I mean everything looks to uh, be in order." In the fourth and final panel, we see the catgirls again, a drop of perspiration on the sides of their heads. Off-panel, someone (perhaps Captain Frank) is saying "(Send a message to Melmac 2. One word. Jackpot.)"

The ol' ALFer@theolalfer· Jul 8

If you like this picture we can be friends. @sirpaintalot.bsky.social