the pale lawyer™️

@thepalelawyer

writer, maker of disrespectful memes & art appreciator S H E / H E R 🤠 🔞 🌈 NSFW MDNI! Supreme y’allstarion appreciator I also fw hellspawn/bloodweave

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the pale lawyer™️@thepalelawyer· Jul 12

More #nsfw #hellspawn birthday treats by @chthonicvampire.bsky.social, just when I was asking how to do Karlach’s flames for #bg3vp 😼 thanks, boo #femstarion #pegtheelf

Karlach kissing femstarion, they’re both naked and she’s on Karlach’s lap

Karlach subsumed in blue flames while pegging Astarion at camp

Karlach subsumed in blue flames while going down on femstarion at camp

Karlach pegging Astarion in a bed at camp

the pale lawyer™️@thepalelawyer· Jul 11

@chthonicvampire.bsky.social made me some #hellspawn for my birthday :3 #bg3vp

Motorcycle Karlach looking smug with Astarion and femstarion in her lap

Karlach getting kisses on each cheek from Astarion and Femstarion

the pale lawyer™️@thepalelawyer· Jul 11

For my bday, I’m reposting my #bloodweave y2k selkie x marine biologist fic with art by the legendary @doodleyounge.bsky.social, @alwenart.bsky.social and my beloved @bonniesgate.bsky.social! I’d love if you gave it a look or shared 🦭 🌊 💕 archiveofourown.org/works/856246... #bg3fanart #bg3fanfic

Art by doodle of Astarion and Gale frotting in chapter 9 😼 Gale is wearing tiny little athletic shorts and Astarion is in selkie form. They’re in a bathtub in sickly green lighting

Render by Bonnie’s Gate of Astarion straddling Gale and kissing him in warm golden light on the beach in chapter 6 of the fic

the pale lawyer™️@thepalelawyer· Jul 9

I was so lucky to betaread this gays of summer #bloodweave fic and you should read it too 🤩 😎 🌊 #bg3fanfic #bg3vp

the pale lawyer™️@thepalelawyer· Jul 7

I’m having a birthday giveaway on Instagram (same username) to celebrate my birthday on Saturday if you wanna hop on over and join 🤠 For the rest of you, enjoy the #yallstarion #astarion #bg3vp #b&w

Y’allstarion looking down with arms crossed and mostly bare chest/pierced nipples

Y’allstarion with arms crossed and face hidden by his cowboy hat 🤠

the pale lawyer™️@thepalelawyer· Jul 6

Ciro + Gale being soft with each other, although there’s always a little wizard teasing 😋 but this dynamic doesn’t start til act 3 bc Ciro doesn’t know how to approach it earnestly and Gale doesn’t believe he’s really interested #CiroOC #tavqotd #bg3vp #galedekarios #galeofwaterdeep

the pale lawyer™️@thepalelawyer· Jul 4

Gale putting his mouth to better use in my one-shot (although I might write more) featuring a tiny peek of wizard dick 😼 archiveofourown.org/works/87907401 #bg3vp #nsfw #galextav #tavxgale #transmasc

Gale going down on Ciro (trans masc). They're floating in the air beneath Gale's conjured aurora. Ciro is naked, while Gale is clothed with just his cock pulled out of his leggings

the pale lawyer™️@thepalelawyer· Jul 3

well this one time in Avernus…hehe sometimes you gotta help a girl blow off some steam Maybe one day I’ll continue my fic to this scene 👀 #bg3nsfw #bg3 #tavqotd #karlach #astarion #durge

the pale lawyer™️@thepalelawyer· Jun 30

As promised…the nsfw they be getting up to in that water (Nerys will never not take a chance to use her mouth) One day I will get better at porn 🤡 but not today #tavqotd #Astarys #NerysOC #bg3vp #nsfw #fellatio

the pale lawyer™️@thepalelawyer· Jun 30

Wild card: more Ciro and Gale, who I’m increasingly normal about. “Enough talking, wizard.” As to why he’s losing clothes, he runs hot, ok? It’s all that radiant magic beneath his skin. Definitely not just me loving the ✨ 😁 #MLM #bg3pride2026 #bg3queer #pansexual #trans #CiroOC #spellsmash idk

Ciro coming up to his elbows, laughing. Gale seems to have made off with his trousers.

Ciro gazing at Gale, smiling. His legs are extended into Gale’s lap, exposing his constellation tattoos.

the pale lawyer™️@thepalelawyer· Jun 29

Gale has Ciro feelin’ good today 😼 🔥 #bg3vp #CiroOC

Gale touching Ciro (transmasc seldarine drow) in low lighting, kneeling on a bed

Gale touching Ciro (transmasc seldarine drow), kneeling in low lighting on a bed

the pale lawyer™️@thepalelawyer· Jun 27

I don't have that many nice pictures of Nerys' booty, but she has serious cake. She refuses to wear the anarchic outfit out of camp because it's just too absurd, to Astarion's disappointment. #bg3vp #nerysOC

Nerys in a swimsuit and her hair tied up, carrying Astarion in her arms to a picnic blanket. It's post-game, and they've been nightswimming.

the pale lawyer™️@thepalelawyer· Jun 25

Day 25: MLM but make it #nsfw Ciro and the wizard. Trying to get better at porn vp, heh #bg3vp #bg3pride2026 #bg3queer

Ciro, a transmasc drow with starry tattoos and white hair, teasing Gale while straddling him in bed

Ciro, a transmasc drow with starry tattoos and white hair, being pinned to the bed by Gale

Ciro, a transmasc drow with starry tattoos and white hair, riding Gale in a dark bedroom. His t dick is visible

Ciro, a transmasc drow with starry tattoos and white hair riding Gale

the pale lawyer™️@thepalelawyer· Jun 15

I’m tired of bluesky’s BS auto moderation. Add this to your list of reasons to dislike artificial “intelligence”—it replicates human prejudices. There’s nothing inherently sexual about trans mens’ bodies, I just wanted to show off his tattoo. Meanwhile I tagged Nerys as nudity and they said lol nah

the pale lawyer™️@thepalelawyer· Jun 15

Purple/Spirit this is my newest Tav, Ciro. He’s a radiant sorcerer + a trans masc mama’s boy with a silver tongue who got yanked from the family’s organized crime scheme by the mindflayers. Still trying to decide on hair… #bg3pride2026 #bg3queer #CiroOC

Ciro, a purple skinned drow with constellation tattoos, thick fringe and white eyebrows on a dark background.

Ciro, a purple skinned drow with constellation tattoos, long white curls and white eyebrows on a dark background.

Ciro, a purple skinned drow with constellation tattoos and a tiny little half pony tail on a dark background.

Ciro, a purple skinned drow with constellation tattoos, wavy tendrils of hair across his forehead and white eyebrows on a dark background.

the pale lawyer™️@thepalelawyer· Jun 15

if you see this, post boob ...sure, have a scene from my fic #bg3vp #astarys

Astarion kissing his way down Nerys' hip as she stands with her eyes closed next to the fountain of restoration in the house of hope, postgame. They're both nude.

the pale lawyer™️@thepalelawyer· Jun 12

H-has anyone noticed Jaheira’s skin texture? I don’t usually put her in the slutty fits bc granny has dignity but damn, I approve of her elder Slavic drip tbh #jaheira #bg3 #bg3vp

the pale lawyer™️@thepalelawyer· Jun 10

just reposting my beautiful raffle prize from @2leavespothos.bsky.social ‘cause it deserves to be seen 🤠 🌶️ Happy yeehaw pride #gay #cowboy #bloodweave #nsfw I should really get around to writing some western AU fic…maybe I’ll do some for gays of summer for @bwbrdiscord.bsky.social 👀

Cowboy Gale with long hair lying underneath Astarion and sucking his cock while touching himself. The sun is going down, and they’re in the desert, next to a rocky outcropping and some flowering cactus. Gale is wearing boots and his shirt is unbuttoned, no pants. His orb tattoo is glowing. Astarion is shirtless, wearing gloves and boots and chaps over his pants, which are unbuttoned to grant Gale access. They’re both wearing cowboy hats, slightly flushed.

the pale lawyer™️@thepalelawyer· Jun 7

Just another G is for Gale poster #bg3alphabet #bg3vp

Gale lying sideways in an armchair, looking thoughtfully at something offscreen. He is wearing purple boxer briefs and his nipples are pierced with gold rings.

the pale lawyer™️@thepalelawyer· Jun 5

top fanfic tropes (sicko mode) Well 🤡 🔪 🧛 can’t say I’m surprised nulienna.tumblr.com/sorter

rank

1 romantic stabbing
2 stop making love to me while i'm trying to fuck you
3 hurt/comfort
4 divorced but still fucking
5 heavy angst
6 monsterfucking
7 gothic horror
8 sun/moon imagery
9 lovers to enemies
10 doomed relationships

the pale lawyer™️@thepalelawyer· Jun 3

Here’s the #nsfw surprise and a link to the whole thing: archiveofourown.org/works/82747176 Happy Pride!

the pale lawyer™️@thepalelawyer· Jun 3

#bg3queer #bg3pride2026 prompt: orange / healing #pansexual #bg3vp #bg3fanfic #magecock (2/3)

She'd gotten the sense that he enjoyed it when they had done this before, but he'd never asked her to. Astarion bit his lip, still not meeting her eyes as he cleared his throat.
"Well, I...I suppose I am," he said finally, his voice a little unsteady. That was good enough for her. Nerys didn't try to coax him to look at her. She just leaned forward and pressed her lips to his pale skin, lavishing kisses on his collarbone before trailing down to attend to each nipple.
His back was rigid at first, but by the time she'd kissed her way down to his sternum he rewarded her with a soft cry, his head tipping back as he leaned on his hands.
"There we go," Nerys murmured, hauling him closer to the ledge by his thighs and spreading them wider. "No more hissing, kitten," she teased, bending lower.

the pale lawyer™️@thepalelawyer· Jun 3

(1/3) These shots of them in Avernus by @adrielcz.bsky.social are orange and the fic that takes place there is all about healing and feeling safe enough to ask for what you want ❤️‍🩹 nsfw surprise if you scroll through 🧵 #pansexual #bg3queer #bg3pride2026 #astarys #bg3fic #bg3vp

"Ah, mage cock. Feeling nostalgic?" Nerys rejoined with a wry smile. It was unlike him to be shy about anything related to sex.
"But you know I can't summon it anymore. That's a warlock spell and I'm..." she shrugged, shaking her head. Those powers had gone with her connection to Bhaal. She did miss that spell. She tried not to think about how much she'd enjoyed something he'd given her. Much less his purpose for giving it...she suppressed a shudder.
"Yes, well, about that," Astarion muttered brusquely, and abruptly stepped out of the pool to rummage in his pack. Nerys was confused, but quickly became sidetracked by the view of his ass she was granted as he bent over. She leaned on the edge of the tub with a bit of a dazed expression as he came back clutching something tightly in his hand. He thrust it at her and she took it, her hands dampening the parchment as she unrolled it.
"Oh, a scroll," she said, realization finally lighting up her face.

the pale lawyer™️@thepalelawyer· Jun 3

Astarion likes to strut his stuff, as usual--but he's a little unsure about it still after the gang defeats Cazador. This is what trying to get back on the horse looks like on a bath house date ;) he's pretty as always #bg3queer #bg3pride2026 #bg3vp #astarion

Astarion meeting Nerys (durge) on a date to a fancy bath house in Baldur's Gate, clad in sparkly silver and black showgirl attire (bodysuit and tights), vamping for the camera but with a little bit of uncertainty on his face. She's complimenting him, of course

the pale lawyer™️@thepalelawyer· Jun 1

🍰

the pale lawyer™️@thepalelawyer· Jun 1

well sure why not, A is for Astarion [in a dress] 💅 older vp taken on my long ass monitor. Something a bit more cheeky below ⬇️ #bg3alphabet #astarion #bg3vp

the pale lawyer™️@thepalelawyer· Jun 1

Hi, hello, can I interest you in some #monsterfucking #bottomgale #bloodweave #bg3fanfic for #bottomgaleweek? 😼🦭🌊 archiveofourown.org/works/856246...

"Oh, Lir....so tight," he groaned, rocking shallowly back and forth. Gale could only whimper in reply, his cock suddenly back to almost painful stiffness as it pressed against the lip of the tub. Astarion's claws dug into the plush curves of his hips as he pressed deeper and paused again, his breaths coming fast against Gale's neck. Gale made a weak sound of protest, rocking his hips back. The selkie laughed, that soft trill again that brought a shaky smile to Gale's lips even now.
"So eager for me, little scholar." He thrust himself fully inside of Gale in one decisive movement, completely robbing him of breath. "Are you alright?" Gale could only manage an affirmative grunt and a nod, pressing his forearms harder into the porcelain. Finally, blessedly, Astarion started to fuck into him in earnest, another low growl echoing in Gale's ear as the alien rigidity of the selkie's cock stretched him to his limit.

Gale could hear another sound too, a kind of desperate mewling that it took him a moment to realize was coming out of his own mouth.
As he looked down, his eyes widened to see his belly swell, his lower abdominal wall distorted by the boned length inside of him.
He hadn't even known that was actually possible, but with seal anatomy-namely, a baculum-he supposed it made sense.
That was the last complete thought he was capable of before Astarion reduced Gale to an inarticulate, drooling mess, trembling against the lip of the tub.

the pale lawyer™️@thepalelawyer· May 31

Aaaa I love so many of these especially this one for some reason

the pale lawyer™️@thepalelawyer· May 29

The spicy outfits available to her are minimal so take your pick hehe, but here’s my durge Nerys!

the pale lawyer™️@thepalelawyer· May 28

Blahaj would like to offer you another teaser of my #mermay AU #bloodweave fic, out Saturday 👁️ 🫦 👁️ 🦭 ✨ 🌊