Tilskatoff 🇺🇦🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🇬🇱
@tilskatoff
Head of a neurodivergent household. Ex-archaeologist. Now and again I paint things. Most of all, it's just nice to be nice.
"Are you alright in there Mr President?" "Yes! I'm fine!.......DON'T OPEN THE DOOR!!"
Why did this immediately make me think of that possum who broke into a bakery and ate so much that when the doors were opened in the morning, he was too engorged to move?
Postman has just delivered a load of junk mail. Might order a cock and balls pizza for dinner tonight.
Impossible not to imagine the expression of the person who set yesterday's Keywords puzzle.
What Count Dracula says when his servants aren't pulling their weight.
Yesterday on the motorway, I had only just finished telling my son about my irrational+highly unfair sense that people with bikes on the back of their cars are middle class wankers, when I saw this.....
No, YOU just walked through the whole of Tibshelf Services with the buttons on your top open and your bra on show to everyone.
During a walk yesterday, we passed multiple benches with dedication plaques. My 15yo casually mused, "can you imagine if every time you sat on one of those benches, you get temporarily possessed by the spirit of the person on the plaque?" I can tell you now, I've thought about nothing else since.
Perception of time is a funny thing. The photo in the post below of the Coronation Street set in 1990 looks so dated+old fashioned. And yet, I visited the set that very same year and it feels like a very modern day yesterday.
Looking up famous birthdays for tonight's pub quiz..... 🎶One of these things is not like the other🎶
No, no... it's fine Grim Reaper, it's fine....you just keep on taking the Sam Neills, the Jane Goodalls and now the puppeteer for Zippy. You carry on leaving us with the most evil, sentient sacks of rancid fucking custard intent on destroying the entire planet. You do you....ya cunt.
Did a speed awareness course this wk. Being a square who takes instructions very literally, I watched the guidance video, read the rules etc. I practised my video set-up. Clear view, no blurred b/grounds, everything in shot And yet there was one woman who attended the entire course like this ⬇️
Catching up with the Proms this morning. Trying desperately hard not to have a massive crush on Yunchan Lim given I'm old enough to be his Mum but bloody hell, what an incredible musician, what talent, what passion and what a sweet and gentle artistic soul. ....and the floppy hair...argh, stop!
I'm always asking my teenage kids when we can take the rusty old trampoline to the tip, but on beautiful evenings like this with a bit of introspective melancholy, it's the perfect place to lie and find smiley faces in the clouds. (I'll pretend I can't hear the constant roar of the M4)
Without commenting on the obvious awfulness of violence, it occurred to me that if you were writing a murder mystery about a deeply despised woman, your editor would probably suggest you change the name of the village from something sounds exactly like "hate her".
In the same family as the Urangasaurus, I believe....but very different to the UrangM'Lordasaurus.
Our little hedgehog friend is back in the garden tonight. I feel like this photo is giving....
When you subtly pull your cheeks apart in a desperate attempt to avoid farting in front of your new boyfriend.
36 years ago today, we got knocked out of the World Cup. As a 14yr old, I recorded it in my diary. I don't think Samuel Pepys has anything to worry about.
Every kid in my school right now whose parents are refusing to buy new trousers till the Autumn term.
I feel your pain. Have a great time, wherever you're off to 😊
This was the entertainment set up in my bedroom in 1990. My little TV+ghetto blaster on my Grandma's old drinks trolley. One day, I pissed my Dad off so much that he just came+squeakiliy wheeled it out of my room as punishment. So, I (kind of) know how you're feeling Gen Alpha+I'm with you ✊🏻