Ben Ward (@timegentleman) · DIRTY

Ben Ward

@timegentleman

video game writer & designer | he/him avatar by @michaelfirman.bsky.social header by @2dforever.com

244 Folgt1.033 Follower828 Posts

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Ben Ward@timegentleman· 28d

Firstly: rude. Secondly: I'm on season 7, which means I've got one or two seasons of rapidly diminishing returns and then like thirty seasons of junk left, so no, Disney, I will not "finish watching The Simpsons".

An abrupt-to-the-point-of-threatening email from Disney Plus with the subject line "Finish watching The Simpsons".

Ben Ward@timegentleman· 28d

"... when everything aligns - when the puzzle clicks, the dialogue lands, and VValak delivers another perfectly judged line of disdain - EMD becomes something quietly special." - bigbossbattle.com/earth-must-d... BUY IT NOW! store.steampowered.com/app/3639780/...

Ben Ward@timegentleman· 28d

Earth Must Die isn't on sale any more but it's still an UTTER bargain and I found another nice review, thanks to a sale round-up post: "packed with dry observations, absurd escalations, and the occasional line that lands with the quiet confidence of a joke that knows exactly what it’s doing" [1/2]

Ben Ward@timegentleman· Jul 10

Obvious first thing:

Ben from Lair Of The Clockwork God, via CRT filter.

Ben Ward@timegentleman· Jul 4

Ben Ward@timegentleman· Jun 25

Suggested addition:

A bunch of framed maps hanging on a wall. From left to right: Darklands, Baldur's Gate 2, Skyrim, Dwarf Fortress, Might and Magic, and Might and Magic 3. There's also a hastily photoshopped-in map from classic adventure game "Time Gentlemen, Please!".

Ben Ward@timegentleman· Jun 10

Rik from The Young Ones in a cowboy hat.

Ben Ward@timegentleman· Jun 5

Wonderful to see women in game dev are just as good as the men at using 'deep dive' inappropriately 💪💪💪

52 seconds long YouTube video titled "Trackastrophe! - Official Developer Deep Dive Trailer
Women-Led Games x SGF 2026".

Ben Ward@timegentleman· May 26

New cool thing for farters to say just dropped

a screengrab of the bit of Dan's post that says "farting just dropped".

Ben Ward@timegentleman· May 17

Suggested YouTube UI improvement.

Fake YouTube UI with additional options to tell them why you're not interested in a video: "Obnoxious thumbnail", "I'm not a hateful bigot", "Fucking SPOILERS", and "In a moment of weakness I clicked on one cute cat video but I would like to see other things again now plea"

Ben Ward@timegentleman· Mar 20

"Hiiii! Just wanted to give you the notes from yesterday's meeting!" "But we told you not to take notes at that meeting. We told you to leave." "I know, that's note #2!" "Oh, Unauthorised AI..." *depressing theme tune plays*

Meeting Overview
• Technical Checks Completed: Initial audio confirmed clear; video
visibility was limited. Fourteen participants present at the start.
• Unauthorized AI Removal: Team identified and removed the AI
note taker, Fireflies, to ensure meeting control and focus.

Ben Ward@timegentleman· Mar 18

DLSS yourself.

Me in 2026, labelled "DLSS OFF", and me in 2018 labelled "DLSS ON".

Ben Ward@timegentleman· Mar 3

"Jo Nesbø’s Detective Hole" is my new favourite euphemism.

A poster for the Netflix show "Jo Nesbø’s Detective Hole". Dark and grimy, it features a star at the centre.

Ben Ward@timegentleman· Feb 12

Just saw my follower count - very appropriate given the recent TGP post! (Side-trivia: after this puzzle, 10:20 became our standard 'nerd reference to be deployed on all in-game clock', replacing previous favourite 10:04 from Back To The Future.)

My follower account of 1020, superimposed over a scene from video game Time Gentlemen Please in which a series of clocks have been set to 10:20.

Ben Ward@timegentleman· Feb 8

Possibly the best award badge given to Earth Must Die yet. We've got another 4/5 review nOWWWWWWW

The most metal game review award badge ever, reading "Wolf's Gaming Blog - Recommended" and featuring a silhouetted werewolf howling with a game controller in one hand and what is presumably a bottle of booze in the other, all framed with laurels and ribbons AND stars.

Ben Ward@timegentleman· Jan 31

Oh wow, I missed this Earth Must Die steam forum thread. Thank goodness there are crusaders out there protecting us from potentially scams (misleading games). Incidentally, the definitely-not-a-throwaway-joke-forgotten-about-five-seconds-later "source" in question: bsky.app/profile/dant...

Steam forum thread.
Title: New announcement on Bluesky
Post 1: Developer is planning to add bunch of woke stuff right after two hour of playtime to own the chuds. So if you are into that sort of thing you can support them. If you are not I am just warning you about potentially scam (misleading game, hiding strong political content so you cannot refund when it shows). Source below.
Reply 1: tell me you don't understand british satire without telling us.
hell satire in general. get outta here kid.
Reply 2: first day at understanding jokes school
Reply 3: Cool, I hope VValak comes out as Bisexual followed by an epic dance sequence at the end of the game.

Ben Ward@timegentleman· Jan 29

A Who of Whoville playing a who-hoober, with grabs of my quoted post by the ends of two of the hoober-horns, one labelled "Me posting on Bluesky" and the other labelled "me quote-posting myself because I didn't get the likes I deserved".

Ben Ward@timegentleman· Jan 29

Just want to make absolutely sure everyone's aware of this BONZO bargain: two excellent games, normally £27.48 total, bundled at £9.48. That's an overall 65% discount! Put another way: you get Earth Must Die for 25% off *and* LOTCG for 49 pence! GRAB IT NOW! store.steampowered.com/bundle/67300...

In Space No One Can Hear All The Orgies
Thanks to a star-studded voice cast, Earth Must Die is a hilarious sci-fi romp that features plenty of laughs and crude jokes. And while its comedy won’t land for everyone, its meticulous and clever design, and stunning cartoon visuals make it an early contender for adventure game of the year.
9 - Bloody Ripper.

Lair of the Clockwork God (Reviewed on Windows)
Outstanding. Why do you not have this game already?
I cannot express enough how much I enjoyed this game. It does require you to be a fan of both point-and-click and platform games, but if you are, then this is an absolute diamond-studded must buy.
This game was purchased at retail for the purpose of this review.

Ben Ward@timegentleman· Jan 29

This guy gets it.

A review snippet, reading "You are VValak (that’s right, two Vs) Lizardtongue, the inept, lazy and cunty Grand Shepherd of the Tyrythian Ascendancy whose only friend is Milky, a sentient milk-filled nursing bot that he should have grown out of as a child. Truth be told, VValak stole his spot on the throne by ensuring his older (and far more capable but equally as cunty) twin brothers killed one another, leaving his father no choice but to pass on the reins to the only remaining son before he died."

Ben Ward@timegentleman· Jan 29

I've worked up a tight 300 (characters).

Steve Martin performing comedy to an audience of dogs, Martin is labelled "me workshopping my BlueSky posts" and the dogs are labelled "Discord".

Ben Ward@timegentleman· Jan 29

Working remotely with lots of video meetings I've found myself needing a fidget toy, so I thought to myself "what would Sam and Max do?" Now all I need is a rubber duck for when I want to make a non-sequitur, and a cardboard box to keep my carefully crafted collection of junk in...

My hand squeezing a Panic Pete fidget toy in a vaguely work-like environment.

The classic Panic Pete-esque use icon from video game Sam And Max Hit The Road.

Ben Ward@timegentleman· Jan 27

Evidently Steam *hasn't* calmed down, because there are now NINE available [Earth Must Die + 1 other game] bundles! Those games: Lair of the Clockwork God; Expelled!; Loco Motive; Kathy Rain 2; Old Skies; Foolish Mortals; Tangle Tower; Sam & Max: The Devil's Playhouse; Gibbous - A Cthulhu Adventure

Steam bundles of Earth Must Die with, individually, Lair of the Clockwork God; Expelled!; Loco Motive; Kathy Rain 2; Old Skies; Foolish Mortals; Tangle Tower; Sam & Max: The Devil's Playhouse; Gibbous - A Cthulhu Adventure.

Ben Ward@timegentleman· Jan 27

EARTH MUST DIE comes out in just under three hours and is currently the NUMBER ONE MOST RELEVANT POPULAR UPCOMING GAME on Steam, if I'm reading this thing right! store.steampowered.com/app/3639780/...

The Steam Store popular upcoming list sorted by relevance, with Earth Must Die sitting pretty at number one.

Ben Ward@timegentleman· Jan 20

EARTH MUST DIE inexorably approaches, like an alien tyrant grumpily walking down a corridor! Tuesday 27th January, only a week away! "Wishlist it," whispers the nursing bot of your mind. "Wishliiiiiist!" store.steampowered.com/app/3639780/...

Ben Ward@timegentleman· Jan 16

Congrats to @doublefine.com for being the first video game company ever to use the term "deep dive" appropriately! 105 minutes just on their use of the Unreal Engine - this is what a deep dive looks like, people! It even rhymes. Magnificent. youtu.be/VMa5xbjL3BU...

Thumbnail for a YouTube video from Double Fine titled "in-Engine - Double Fine's Keeper - Unreal 5 Exploration", with "Unreal 5 Deep Dive" in text on the thumbnail image.

Ben Ward@timegentleman· Jan 16

A Eurogamer news article which a) covers EARTH MUST DIE's 27th Jan release date and b) reminds us that Clockwork God should have got 5/5 from Eurogamer which means its *real* Metacritic score is, oooh, what, 90? www.eurogamer.net/british-come...

Text from the article: If that wasn't enough of a recommendation, consider Size Five Games' previous work: Lair of the Clockwork God, a relentlessly hilarious point-and-click game merged with a platformer that I'm still sore I didn't give five stars to instead of four. "Bottomless wit and some inspired design choices make this genre mash-up a joy to play," I wrote at the time (2020).

Ben Ward@timegentleman· Jan 15

EARTH MUST DIE is currently number one on @aghotspot.bsky.social's Hotly Anticipated games list! Coming for PC on the 27th JANUARY! Wishlist now and join in on the anticipatin' 🤤 store.steampowered.com/app/3639780/...

A screengrab from the Adventure Game Hotspot website, of their Hotly Anticipated list of "Upcoming games generating buzz", with Earth Must Die sitting pretty at number one.

Ben Ward@timegentleman· Jan 14

According to IndieInformer's latest newsletter, Earth Must Die is on their "To Watch stack ... a curated selection of titles arriving in 2026 that deserve a spot on your wishlist." You heard them - wishlist it! store.steampowered.com/app/3639780/...

A promo image for upcoming video game Earth Must Die, with IndieInformer's summary next to it reading "Help this narcissistic alien overlord and his nursing-bot sidekick liberate Earth in a 90s-style adventure
brimming with British-comedy voice talent, catastrophic choices, and interstellar spite".

Ben Ward@timegentleman· Jan 6

Channel 4 really going the extra mile to embrace the high-concept sci-fi nature of Red Dwarf by producing an alternate universe version of the first two series where Kochanski is played by Chloe Annett and Lister is played by Charlie Brooker.

A truly bizarre, presumably AI-generated promo image on the Channel 4 website for Red Dwarf series 1 and 2.

Ben Ward@timegentleman· Jan 1

REACTS TO *FAMILY* PHOTOS NOW?! Genuinely not sure where lazy YouTube interviewers can go from here. 'X reacts to dirt under their fingernails'?

Thumbnail for a YouTube video titled "Jackie Chan Reacts to Family Photos & ‘Rush Hour’ Memories".