Tom McAllister

@tmcallister

Author of 5 books, most recently the essay collection IT ALL FELT IMPOSSIBLE. New novel REVEAL! forthcoming in Spring '28 Former Book Fight podcast co-host. @Barrelhouse.bsky.social NF Editor. Rutgers-Camden MFA faculty. South Jersey. Tom.mcallister.ws

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Tom McAllister@tmcallister· 19h

I'm a schoolteacher, not a plumber

Image from 1957 film Bigger than Life, starring James Mason. He's in a hospital bed, and rhe captions read "Doctor, I can't afford this private room. I'm a schoolteacher, not a plumber."

Tom McAllister@tmcallister· 11d

The writing coach trying to get me to go upstairs, then looking very disappointed as I walk past him to leave the house

Teddy Bagel, tri color pitbull/bulldog, waiting excitedly by the door up to my office

Teddy Bagel, looking like "what the fuck man, the world needs your novel" (they do not, but he doesn't have to know that)

Tom McAllister@tmcallister· 12d

Reading a library copy of Money by Martin Amis, and this single post-it note is still in the book. Library copies are beautiful.

Post it with note that says "no harm watching gross porn" and an arrow pointing to gross porn scene

Tom McAllister@tmcallister· 12d

Received an advance copy of @adamoprice.bsky.social's collection from @autumnhouse.org today. Adam is one of the best living short story writers, no offense to other living writers who are reading this, and also he's coming to read at Rutgers-Camden in October. Excited to read this one

Cover of Adam O'Fallon Price's forthcoming collection Objects of Desire. It's sort of a bright blue bird ass on white background. It looks cool

Tom McAllister@tmcallister· 15d

Have a story in the new issue of Indiana Review, my first published short fiction since 2020. I feel like this is a good one, in some ways the first "real" short story I've ever written. If you'd like to read it you can order here indianareview.iu.edu

Cover of Indiana Review 48.1 Summer 2026

Opening paragraphs of a short story titled Triangulation. About a guy named Stephen who feels alienated and tries to make his life mean something by helping a random stranger on crutches. Sorry not to transcribe the whole thing, but if you have any obstacle to being able to read it lemme know and I can send you a copy of the story

Tom McAllister@tmcallister· 17d

Extraordinary effort by this cop at sounding suspicious, just a masterclass at inviting more questions

Tweet by Eric Branch:

Updated story on Kyle Shanahan's car accident, with perspective from John Lynch and comment from Palo Alto officer: “There will be no information released regarding the cause of the collision or who was at fault.”

Tom McAllister@tmcallister· 17d

Advertising simply doesn't get better than this

Photorealistic painting (?) Of Wayne Carini, a man I myself have never heard of, with the slogan "Use what I use." - Wayne Carini

Tom McAllister@tmcallister· 19d

Very fond memory of @mikeingram.bsky.social sending me this haiku and saying "do you think this author is insane, and do you think this is funny?"

Sunny Katz, author of haiku titled ABRAHAM LINCOLN

Peace out, Slavery!
I wanna log your cabin
Your beard is peaceful

Tom McAllister@tmcallister· 19d

Extremely ready to be finished with the era where the wealthiest and most popular among us spend all day whining about how nobody likes them. You can be incredibly successful and constantly on TV or you can be a pathetic little moron pissbaby dweeb but NOT BOTH

“With everything happening in the world and everyone telling me how terrible of a person I am, it felt like a good time to let people know that I know you feel that way about me, I actually wrote a bunch of songs about it,” McAfee said.

Tom McAllister@tmcallister· 20d

At the Camden Writers House, we have a few drop-in days this summer where you can see our beautiful historic building, get some work done in a cool space, and meet other creative folks in the area. Plus: free coffee. Next one is Saturday

Flyer advertising the event. Key info: drop in any time 9-1 on July 25. Next event is Aug 15. Writers house is at 305 Cooper Street in Camden. Metered Street parking should be wide open (or take PATCO). If you come, look for the headstones of two beloved family dogs that were buried on the property long ago

Tom McAllister@tmcallister· 23d

Mom checking in with some World Cup analysis

Text from Mom, 4:44 PM

Argentine mostly playing defense
Halftime stupid

Tom McAllister@tmcallister· 24d

Very upsetting Rocky impersonator behind home plate at the Phils game

Man in a Sylvester Stallone wig that seems to have gotten ruined in the rain, no shirt, an open yellow boxing robe, and truly concerning skin tone

Tom McAllister@tmcallister· 25d

Ah, the google AI says it's a beautiful day today. Now to step outside and take a big sip of pure, clean air

google AI result saying "the current air quality in Collingswood, NJ generally ranges from Good to Moderate." Goes on to say it's safe for most individuals and AQI is hovering between 40-60 (it's actually somewhere between 230-260 and the smoke is so thick you can't see the sun, which I assume is still out there and planning on returning, but if it's not at least I can get rid of all my hats, never been a big hat guy)

Tom McAllister@tmcallister· 28d

no red flags here

Neighbor Scott Thomas described Barr as a retired firefighter, Vietnam veteran, and an unoffical neighborhood patrol

Tom McAllister@tmcallister· 29d

The "i'm tired of these jokes about my giant hand" hand from the Simpsons

Tom McAllister@tmcallister· Jul 8

names of the senders on the AI author email scams are getting more Dickensian

email sig:

Goodluck Phillip
Proud Member of the Best Seller Whisperer Team
the fake guy's email
the fake guy's website

Tom McAllister@tmcallister· Jul 5

over 15 years ago, we discussed The Homosexual. And still, it seems, there is much more to be said

Stephen A Smith tweet from April 15, 2011 that reads: "The Stephen A. Smith Show on 710 ESPN LA comes on 9-11 pm Tonight. We will NOT discuss Kobe Bryant. We will, however, discuss the homosexual"

I have no further context, please do not ask for it

Tom McAllister@tmcallister· Jul 1

I've been on a regular writing schedule this summer, going upstairs to my office at 10 and doing a few hours of work. The dog has so internalized this routine that now if I haven't gone up, he stands at the stairway, guilting me. Sometimes he just runs up and waits there for me to clock in

Teddy Bagel and the Case of the Slacking Storyteller

Tom McAllister@tmcallister· Jun 30

This is classic Teddy right here

Tri color pitbull mix with his perfect face resting on a ledge

Tom McAllister@tmcallister· Jun 25

Funny thing about these AI generated scams every author gets, where they pretend to be a publicist who will expose your book to millions: they're getting worse. The first ones were concise and specific and just good enough to make you think. All the ones I get now are insane and like 1400 words long

Screenshot of part of one of these emails with the very normal subject: "Tom – Your meditative collection of essays is profound, but the people who need it cannot find it. It All Felt Impossible Deserves Every Reader Who Has Not Discovered It Yet."

And the body, which cuts off with SO MUCH remaining:

Hi Tom,

Your book It All Felt Impossible grabbed me right away with that all too real scenario. A person sitting with the weight of their own life, trying to make sense of it all. The moments that shaped them, the losses that broke them, the small and strange details that somehow add up to a whole existence.

They want to tell their story, or at least understand it, but where do they even begin? How do you capture the feeling of living when life is so messy, so fragmented, so impossible to pin down?

What struck me most was how you offer not just a memoir but a testament to the power of creative constraints and finding innovative ways to tell one's story. You challenge yourself to write a short essay for every year you have been alive, each piece strictly limited to 1,500 words. These 42 essays move fluidly through time, taking poetic leaps and ending up in places the reader does not expect.

You chronicle a monorail crash, a tornado

Tom McAllister@tmcallister· Jun 22

Graham Platner campaign takes another wild turn

Headline reading "Maine man flees bar after threatening patrons with gun, crashes at 150 mph and dies"

Tom McAllister@tmcallister· Jun 22

Very happy to finally be able to share the news that my next novel, REVEAL!, will be published by @quirkbooks.bsky.social in Spring 2028. It is a fun, wild, weird book. Incredibly grateful to my agent @tommydeanwriter.bsky.social for making this happen.

Publishers Marketplace announcement

Category: Fiction: Mystery/Crime June 22, 2026
REVEAL! By Tom McAllister
Imprint: Quirk Books
Author of HOW TO BE SAFE Tom McAllister's REVEAL!, a humorous locked island murder-mystery narrated by an unborn baby, who somehow gives us a tour of a gender-reveal party from hell with dancing whales, a poisoned nepo influencer, and a husband and wife catering team who are in over their heads, to Randall Lotowycz at Quirk Books, in a nice deal, for publication in spring 2028, by Tommy Dean while at Rosecliff Literary (world).

Tom McAllister@tmcallister· Jun 22

Get jacked and tan

Pic of this guy in a Democrats Suck t, with his head cut off for some reason

Tom McAllister@tmcallister· Jun 22

important footnote on this good and perfectly concise question is that I *know* I have a photo somewhere of shirtless & suspendered Aaron Burch in a Denver bar, and I wanted to send it to Craft to include, but I simply cannot find it. I'm determined to dig it up tho

Tom McAllister: I want to open with a two-part question that is more about your book Tacoma than it might seem at first. I’m ninety-nine percent sure the first time I met you was at a reading in a weird bar in Denver during AWP in 2010. It was a classic AWP off-site reading, in that there were too many of us on the bill, and one guy read for way, way too long and made everyone mad. I don’t think you and I talked much, but my memory is this: you read a story in first person about a guy who had a roommate with a weird habit of strutting around the apartment in just boxers and suspenders, and the story escalated in this very silly way, and it culminated in you doing this really impressive quick-change thing where you yanked off your shirt, revealing suspenders on bare skin. The crowd went insane. I’m pretty sure Barrelhouse ran a photo of shirtless Burch the next day on their blog. So part one of this question: How much of this do you remember?

Aaron Burch: I remember…kinda all of that! I remember being impressed by your reading, and thinking I wanted to be friends,

Tom McAllister@tmcallister· Jun 21

This guy??? He seemed okay

Tom McAllister@tmcallister· Jun 16

incredible comments section on this one

long string of posts that are hidden and under moderator review-- there's like 20 more of these before you hit an actual unflagged comment

Tom McAllister@tmcallister· Jun 15

Did a lightning bolt write this?

Photo of my TV, with a severe thunderstorm warning on the bottom of the screen, including a line that says "Lightning is one of nature's leading killers." Grizzly bears in shambles.
(Go Canes)

Tom McAllister@tmcallister· Jun 14

thank you to the city of New York for inventing Being Happy About Your Sports Team

tim onion tweet that says "Fascism's a fever you break with shit like what happened in New York last night. Create more excuses to feel things like that together."

Tom McAllister@tmcallister· Jun 12

lots of different viewpoints out there regarding hats

Summer Brennan post: There are many occasions when people should be wearing hats, like in the direct hot sun, and yet they do not. We are a species that has forgotten about wearing hats. We did this pretty universally and successfully for thousands of years and then just...stopped.

preceded immediately by a Mike Ingram post:

Truly an amazing time to be alive if you’re kind of a dickhead and like wearing hats

Tom McAllister@tmcallister· Jun 7

Have been writing and submitting a ton kf fiction lately, and I'm going to be reading a new story at the Flashbang reading series at Ace Outpost in Philly next week