My hair accidentally ended up like this after i clipped it back... And i love the way it looks... I'll never be able to replicate it 😆😩😭😭😭

It feels like this... And why i struggle to just be open with my loving & caring wife. Cuz i fear the rejection. Or seek out friendships & actually hold on to themcuz i fear eventually everyone gets bored with me. So i stop trying...

This is why its soooo difficult for me to do the things i need & take the steps i need to move forward in my transition... It freezes me & makes it impossible to act but on pure adhd impulse when you dont think of what happens after... You are hyper focused on the immediate now

Sooo... Decided i wanted to do my makeup & flat iron my hair... Then my wife suggested we go to Hershey for the day cuz she & my son have half days... Think itll be too noticeable?? 😅😅😅 (Tryna not overthink)

Kinda fucking with me a bit that i feel more comfortable & feel i look more femme on the right in thw oversized mens shirt than the womens cut top on the left... 😩 Fuck me 😮‍💨

Update:

Better brain day today... I dont hate my face today 🥳

Being told my "dad mode" aint working at the softball tourney today 🤔🤔🤔 Do you agree??

Baseball Bro to Softball girly pipeline... Thats a thing right? (Circa 2005 to 2026)

Another day tryna fight the inner demon & voice telling me to just stop trying...

We will endure

So... Im trying today... Mentally not great... But... Im trying...

Welp... Wife gave me the "welcome to being a woman" this morning cuz the pups got into my closet & chewed 2 pairs of shoes of mine... 😭😭 My polka dot heels are ruined tho

These lyrics speaks volumes about my current mental state

Im gonna be real w/ ya'll I told my wife last night that im officially filing my legal name change stuff today I feel awful about it. I feel guilty cuz she never wanted this. She never wanted a trans wife, Neither of us knew when we got engaged at 19, now 39 Inner monologue rn:

Headin to Readin to watch the Fightins... Go Phils!!

Insane that 2023 ended up being the year i spiraled hardest into depression and by april, i was trying to stuff every part of Tori back into her little box & forget her... Oh 2023 Tori... Honestly none of that stuff came to fruition that year...

Last night ya girl went 4-4 with a walk in her 1st coed softball game (covert as a "dude" 😅) 1st at bat I hit an inside the park HR!!! 4 RBIs, 4 Runs Scored!!! We won 22-8!! Lets go!!!

For my bravery of having the convo with HR about coming out at work... The Universe has rewarded me with a great hair day!!! 💜 (Essentially my softball uniform, get jerseys tonight & we are purple...)

I decided to be out and exist and be visible in the world as me on Trans Day of Visibility... I did some big things & capped it off by spending time tonight at a local queer cafe... And it just felt amazing to be out freely... I need more of this in my life!! #YearOfTheTori💜

Texted the siblings & both responded right away w/ acceptance, love, & affirming. My brother was like incredible!🥰🥰🥰 My sister texted my wife to see if it was an april fools joke 🤣🤣🤣 Then... Just hit send on my email to HR 😳😳😳 Time to celebrate!! #TDoV

Enjoying the cool temp cozy girl vibes. Rise above the hate and exist to resist!!

The beauty of working from home... Fit changes mid day... Opening Day Fit!! Go Phils!!

Yesterday i struggle bused with energy... But luckily that meant i got to wear my purple fit on purple day!!

Yeaaah... They knew from the type of laser they use. MedLite C series... 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

Day 2 of being me while working from home I feel so natural with my look like this. It just feels soooo right!!!

So day 1 of making the effort of being Tori, being me, in some way with my look... Was a bit slow going but OOTD

Then after this past week, where i spent 2 days as myself. And w/ a push from a close friend in person. Combined w/ these reflections i saw in the mirror, & my bestie joining the push... I impulsively last night decided all good things in the universe come in 3s. 8 ->

New Office Tori just dropped!!

Sparkle vibes!!!