Greg Tuck
@tuckyswans
Author, political observer and commentator, poet, lyricist who promotes the advancement of women.
"What do you mean they aren't working? That may cause the prices of my Telstra share to drop. Get me my stockbroker. Contacting him is more important than contacting the Chinese Embassy........ What do you mean the phones aren't working!"
"China is at fault we should ring them up and complain!" Angus Taylor says only to be informed that the phones aren't working. (1/2)
Why does Pete Hegseth have a used car salesperson look and Richard Marles a gullible purchaser look on their faces? (4/4)
How do you know when Easter is nearly over? When raisin toast which contains the same amount of bread dough, a quarter amount of the fruit, a fifth of the amount of spices, and a whole lot less flavour; is twice as dear as hot cross buns. Time to load your freezer for an out of season snack!
Have you seen the price of wet lettuce at the moment? Half of the defence and foreign affairs budgets are spent on these soggy leafy plants.
Can we please fire up the DeLorean. This Iran war and insane presidency could be easily fixed. Travelling back in time and explaining the benefits of contraception to Donald Trump's parents might be worth a go.
Donald Trump is keen on litigation. Anyone whose travel plans have been disrupted by him starting an unexpected unsnactioned war should get together and put forward a class action against him to reclaim the money they will lose. Travel insurance does not cover wars, even ones started illegally.
A sniper scope that locks the firing mechanism on a gun and asks 50 times "Are you sure you want to permanently remove this?" By that time the target has moved.
Will Sussan survive the night as Opposition leader? The Guardian is reporting that "Ley’s staffers came out of their office to offer bags of chips to the waiting press pack. It’s unclear how long of a night this will be." The night of the short knives? Lock all cutlery drawers. Nice one, Angus.
Rate hikes painful but ‘the right thing for the economy’ RBA governor says……….. Does she and RBA board members share our pain?
Trump's Board of Peace is similar to another group who had the same objectives.
I looked up how many hats and stars on the Michelin ratings but didn't know which was Davo's restaurant. I don't know your full name, Davo, but good on yer! If there was any justice in the world, we would be seeing your name in the Australia Day honour's list! (2/2)
Congratulations to the head of NATO and Mark Carney for serving Donald Trump's head on a platter with egg on his face in Switzerland. Apparently, Australia can take some credit because it was done at an expatriate's place, Davo's. There were TACOs on the menu and a side serve of humble pie. (1/2)
Remember Trump walking up the boarding ramp to Air Force 1 with toilet paper on his shoe? Well, he will be leaving Davos today with egg on his face, choking on humble pie and a taco wrapper in his pocket. They served his head on a platter so he will have to helped aboard.
Trump is seeking a participation certificate for the Vietnam War and a purple heart medal for his bone spur injury.
An alert has been put out in the US. It appears that the US's moral compass has gone missing. The police suspect a 79-year-old criminal, previously found guilty of 34 charges. He is described as obese, 6 feet 2 inches tall and over 244 pounds. Appears to be Caucasian but with orange painted skin.
@grogsgamut.bsky.social Player of the series? Alex Carey? First test 5 wickets. 26 runs and DNB Second test 7 wickets. 63 runs and DNB Third test 7 wickets. 106 and 72 Fourth test 4 wickets. 20 and 4 In the fifth test he already has 2 wickets. Graph the others as you see fit, but it's Carey for me!
In 2008 students began to NAPLAN. No-one has ever said what it's for. Is it plan your naps? Does it allow teachers some naptime in class? Is it so boring that it causes students to nap in the middle of it? Is it designed to catch students "napping?" If it is the last two, it works a treat.
The naivety of some people believing that honesty and politics were not mutually exclusive!
The US destroys boats that it says are Venezuelan. It has now boarded and seized a Venezuelan #oiltanker. These have happened in international waters. The US has not officially declared war on #Venezuela, so these must be acts of piracy. How do you imprison a whole country that commits that act?
Trump has just confessed to pardoning bias. He wants to buy people off with pardons as if he was The Godfather.
Trump and his cronies must use artificial intelligence as there doesn't appear to be any real intelligence among them. Perhaps that is why he wants to control the law courts. Then he has AI and controls those that vet AI's output.
For Barnaby it was a lay down misere he would sell out for more media attention. Here's how he discussed things with Poorleen.