bryn

@unfunpleasures

34. rhinestone cowboy. ofmd brainrot. unfunpleasures on ao3. pfp: @midearthling.bsky.social. header: @panodtortur.bsky.social. 18+ only, please; here there be gay pirate smut. fics linked below.

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bryn@unfunpleasures· 24d

i started the day with one kind of stomach ache that wasn’t really my fault and i’m ending it with a worse one that totally is my fault 🥲

bryn@unfunpleasures· 25d

i love seeing how other people plot and plan because i’m usually kinda just like “let’s sit down and see what happens!” and then i spend hours hyperfixating on a detail with absolutely no relevance to the story

bryn@unfunpleasures· 25d

we had a great time and learned some new things but guess whose stomach got mildly upset over three hours into the hangout??? i was fine, but ughhh, i’m never allowed to have fun

bryn@unfunpleasures· 25d

i have plans today (lunch and a historical archive), so my nervous system thinks i’m going to war

bryn@unfunpleasures· 25d

i only got 5.5 hours of sleep and it was broken into two chunks because the dogs woke me at 2:30ish and i’m not sure i’ve ever been sleepier

bryn@unfunpleasures· 25d

i have a headache that feels like the kind you get after crying but i haven’t cried at all in weeks. what gives??? i’ve had coffee, water, -and- a meal this evening.

bryn@unfunpleasures· 26d

my godfather has taken up gardening since my dad died and he lost his pot smoking buddy and he sent my mom home with several gigantic squash and a bunch of cherry tomatoes, which is very wholesome

bryn@unfunpleasures· 26d

i skipped my little 15 minute mid-day walks a few times this week because i've gotten too wrapped up in other shit to leave the office and it's been hot and my fitbit basically asked if i'm sick because i'm barely moving anymore. 🥲

bryn@unfunpleasures· 26d

in case you were curious:

bryn@unfunpleasures· 26d

just saw a comment section full of people complaining that a person packing romaine in the field had a mask and gloves and long sleeves on because it must mean the food is poison??? maybe it’s just where i live, but i literally can’t imagine being that clueless about farm labor.

bryn@unfunpleasures· 26d

now there’s a frog in my bathroom. i’ll never know peace.

bryn@unfunpleasures· 26d

(found a new pimple on my eyelid)

bryn@unfunpleasures· 27d

in other news, stoked for new ceremony (evergreen)

bryn@unfunpleasures· 27d

i miss having both the time and the mental energy to read and write regularly, because lately, i feel like i’m kinda lacking in both departments. -i- worked almost nine hours yesterday. -me-. that’s actually insane.

bryn@unfunpleasures· 27d

it’s crazy how much more self-esteem i have when my hair is cut in some variation of a mullet. it’s like my hair starts growing over my ears and i feel ugly and gross and then i get a gay little haircut and i’m healed.

bryn@unfunpleasures· 27d

i've asked before, but i'll ask again: since i have a number of library friends here, have you ever worked under lss? do you know someone who has? i'm trying to gather information.

bryn@unfunpleasures· 27d

these are the masks i use and they're super reliable! i live in an area that gets hit pretty hard with wildfires every year and they really are helpful when you have no choice but to be outside.

bryn@unfunpleasures· 27d

wish i could call in bloated. the vibes just aren't right for productivity. (i mean, the vibes are never right, but still.)

bryn@unfunpleasures· 27d

my mom’s not a huge hand-washer (a fact which regularly distresses me, although she’s gotten better), but sometimes she’ll bring home new hand soaps as if she doesn’t understand my longstanding love affair with refilling foaming dispensers with diluted dr bronner’s.

bryn@unfunpleasures· 28d

eating an uncrustable in my car to “vic reeves and similar artists” on apple music before my evening meeting and wishing i could take a walk but it’s 105 degrees out and the neighborhood i’m in right now is nothing but strip malls and parking lots

bryn@unfunpleasures· 28d

four of my friends live in a fourplex apartment building and it has enough of a yard that they put in a super nice container garden this year and i'm so jealous. i live on a third of an acre or something, but everything's dirt and dead grass and my mom's dogs have destroyed the one raised bed i had.

bryn@unfunpleasures· 28d

i hope everyone who follows me on my private real name ig enjoys my nonstop local politics posting and that it makes them feel better about where they live

bryn@unfunpleasures· 28d

i’m so grateful that people care enough to wanna help with the most recent work-related crisis, but this one journalist has sent me probably half a dozen different email threads and everyone wants answers and a game plan and i’m not allowed to tell them anything and ahhhhhhhhhh

bryn@unfunpleasures· 28d

i still wanna wait till this next chapter of oh my days is posted before i go back to wip snippets for it (in part because i'm running out of stuff to post, whoops), so here's some of the trucker longfic that's been hanging out in my docs for ages.

Ed's grin widened, and it was almost unfair how good he looked in the rather harsh bathroom light. "Close your eyes," he said, looking like a giddy kid. "It's nothing weird, I promise. I mean, y'know, not that weird."

Stede laughed and did as he was told with a playful sigh, catching a whiff of the cigarette smoke in Ed's beard and the faintest sweat from his skin. "Alright."

Ed practically giggled, which made Stede feel impossibly fond, and shifted a little, just enough that Stede could hear him move, hear the soft rustle of fabric in front of him. "Okay, you can open."

He did, and at first, he wasn't entirely sure what he was supposed to be seeing, because there was Ed, still shirtless and beautiful and now turned to the side a bit, but as Stede let his eyes move down his body, he noticed that Ed had pulled his boxers down a bit, and there, on his ass— at least half a shade lighter than his arms— was Stede's name, in cursive, surrounded by the outline of a heart, all in crisp, black ink. He wondered for a split second whether it was real or a joke, but the ink was still a little flaky, so even though he was certainly no expert on tattoos, there was very little room for doubt. Plus, it was Ed, after all.

"You didn't?" Stede huffed, unsure whether to laugh or cry or just kiss him. "You… Did you really tattoo my name on your ass, you nut?"

bryn@unfunpleasures· Apr 24

a bonus for you:

a crop of a dance team photo with pink satin draped over a white wall in the background. a pimply teen with a hat and hair that’s fried as hell but inspired by jade from afi circa 2003 poses. they wear a black jersey with white and red stripes down the side and fishnet sleeves over shiny red armbands.

bryn@unfunpleasures· Apr 24

the craziest thing just happened (i made a salad)

a bowl of power greens with cucumber, red onion, and orange peppers, coated in olive oil, lemon juice, salt, and pepper

bryn@unfunpleasures· Apr 22

this is from chapter 8 of oh my days, so spoiler alert

Stede's responding huff was paired with a flattered little smile, one that suggested that he might be a little speechless. It was sort of flattering when Stede went speechless, actually, because Stede was quite good at talking under almost any circumstances. His cheeks had gone pink, too, and his neck, and Ed almost expected his glasses to start fogging up a little, but he looked… sparkling, effervescent, wonderfully alive and human and fond, and his eyes… Fuck, his eyes flicked to Ed's lips— quickly, just the tiniest of movements, like he'd caught himself doing something he shouldn't, and Ed's heart couldn't help but start pounding as Stede's eyes jumped back to his.

There was a question there, made clearer by the way he licked his own lips, the way his throat bobbed, like he was swallowing down nerves. Ed figured his own eyes looked much the same— wide, uncertain, scared to death of taking a leap he'd been thinking about nonstop for weeks. He felt stuck in the moment, like in a freeze-frame, or maybe a tableau.

Stede, far better suited to taking action, apparently, set the scene in motion again, leaning in ever so slightly. Ed, no stranger to the whole "action/reaction" thing, mirrored him, feeling powerless against the pull he felt every time they were together, the fucking yearning he'd been trying to quiet every day, to varying levels of success. But it had felt good to yearn again for the first time in years; might it not feel good to let himself get what he wanted, too?

bryn@unfunpleasures· Apr 18

this woman’s whole-ass license plate is indented into my fucking vehicle and it’s gonna have to come out of my stupid pocket to fix it, probably

the rear end of a silver car that’s been crunched in to make the hatch impossible to open, with the faint outline of someone else’s license plate pressed into the plastic

bryn@unfunpleasures· Apr 15

some oh my days for wip wednesday, several chapters in.

"She and I happened to be in Cannes at the same time as you were, in… '71, I believe it was?" Stede answered through his own mouthful of smoke. He was turned almost entirely towards Ed now, their knees close enough that Ed could feel his body heat radiating in the small space between them.

Ed nodded, feeling a little zip in his stomach at the thought that their paths might have crossed there, in a fancy fucking resort town in France. It was almost too romantic, and romance had never necessarily been his genre. "Probably would have been," he agreed. "That was the first and last time I was up for a Grand Prix. What were you up to in Cannes?"

Stede sighed wistfully, propping his elbow on the back of the couch and his chin in his hand, cigarette smoking between his fingers. "We were on an anniversary trip," he huffed, rolling his eyes a little. "A gift from Mary's parents. I think they were hoping it might finally result in a grandchild, honestly, but we'd already all but given up on sex by then— with each other, anyway."

Ed couldn't really help but laugh and was relieved to see Stede's lip twitch up, too, highlighting the dimple in his cheek. "Well, hey, at least you got a nice trip," he said, leaning over to tap some ash from his cigarette before taking another drag. "It's a beautiful place. Gotta say, though, all the festival bullshit kinda detracts from the relaxing resort vibe, y'know? All the cameras, the carpets, the fuckin'… John Lennon balloon 'movie.'"

bryn@unfunpleasures· Apr 12

last one in the set! this is definitely the kind of scent that could be a daily wear for me. there are moments when it reminds me a lot of peau by arquiste (which i love and think is so sexy), and i appreciate the longevity that the oud and amber give it. nothing super new or special, but solid.