Jakey Jakers

@utterlyjake

An autistic Goofball (PhD) & a ticking timebomb of sheer nuke-tier anxiety. I write quirky animated scripts and stuff that's rather a bit weird. Like my stories, I'm a work in progress. (He/Him)

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Jakey Jakers@utterlyjake· 1d

How it feels to hear about fandom drama when approaching your thirties (or, in my case, barely into 'em).

Ripper from Total Drama Island (2023) gives the camera in the confessional a dull glare, declaring 'Don't care, here to poop'.

Jakey Jakers@utterlyjake· 2d

The best character of the (in my opinion only tbh) best video game: Juliette from Fur Fighters!

Juliette from Fur Fighters. She's an orange-y yellow French cat with a cream skirt and blue shirt & some red markings around her head, currently aiming a pistol at some offscreen oaf with a look of cold focus. Though quite snooty and more than a bit of a selfish loner, she cares about the rest of the team moreso than she's willing to admit.

Hey, she *did* literally go to Hell and back to help Roofus save his wife Winnie, so...

Jakey Jakers@utterlyjake· 3d

100% and then some worth talking business with Jordan, his skill is top-tier! Behold~!😀

Cassidy Rottington and Akila Gamal swap outfits. The twist is that Cassidy is a zombie and Akila is a mummy.

Cassidy now wears an outlit made outta bandages: dress, boots, headgear and fingerless gloves. She raises her arms, doing her best to put on a scary face.

Akila wears lilac overalls, pink shoes and a pink 'n white striped shirt. Some bandages remain, mostly on her hands and across her face. She wears a purple wig to match Cassidy's hair, and her eyes glow yellow, a sign of happiness in a mummy. She's amused by Cassidy's 'scary' act.

A poster for Micro Machines: The Movie.

The setting is a pool table, with a few balls laying around. The track is outlined in chalk upon the green of the pool table, as was the case in the old games.

Upon the table a race is going on. Closest to the viewer is Bonnie, one of the racers. She's a Black girl with shoulder length raven hair and a green bow. She drives a 60s formula 1 that's mostly pink with some yellow here and there. She's glancing back with a confident smirk at the driver in 2nd place.

Not far behind her is Spider, essentially the mascot character of the old games and the protagonist of the movie. He's a Caucasian guy with shades, a nehru jacket and his hair in a quaff ala Presley. He makes a smug 'rock on' gesture with his right hand at Bonnie. His 60s F1 is mostly purple with little bits of green.

They're, of course, downsized given the micro scale of the race. Looming over the table with a sinister look on his face is a cruel, wicked man. It's Wasp, Spider's evil Uncle and a career criminal. Standout are his own shades, the toothpick in his mouth, his golden jacket & wasp pin, and his own quaff that may or may not be a toupee.

Sagittaria (a tough 5'0 anthro duck, aged 20, with lush golden blonde hair and an army helmet) aims the R.Y.N.O from the original Ratchet and Clank towards the viewer, eager to cause some explosive mayhem.

Jakey Jakers@utterlyjake· 8d

*Looks up from writing Micro Machines: The Series* Anyone else find it weird how Walter was explicitly the utter *worst* driver in Micro Machines (1991) and then in V3 he's like the most consistently hard to beat CPU for... some reason? Maybe the new glasses helped him see where he was driving?😆

Walter as seen in Micro Machines (1991), an overweight teen with an orange sweater and red hair.

Walter as seen in Micro Machines V3. Similar to his OG appearance, but now in 3D and with thick glasses.

Jakey Jakers@utterlyjake· 13d

Having adapted Micro Machines into a movie as a portfolio piece, a part of me wonders about doing the same for Micro Maniacs sometime.🤔 Can't say it wouldn't be interesting!

The starting cast of Micro Maniacs: V4, Vortex, Twister, Mesme, Waldo, Beatbox, Pyra and Maw-Maw

Jakey Jakers@utterlyjake· 22d

Akila looks so adorable!! Naturally of course, because Kapus is simply the utter best at drawing things in such an adorable artstyle~ <3

Akila Gamal (12 years old), a little mummy terrified of the dark due to being born without the dark vision her kind are known for. She wears her bandages akin to a dress with a big bow atop her head, some bandages styled to look like pigtails.

Jakey Jakers@utterlyjake· 24d

#ScriptSky #FunPageFriday #Screenwriting Something I've not touched in a while and gave a nice redraft to, Spares to the Throne. It's a 1 season tale of an aging King seeking an heir, and doing so by hosting a minigame tournament with kids from all over his colour coded archipelago nation.🌈👑

ADAM
Thanks for the opportunity, Sir!

KING EMRYS
At ease, Cadet! Just call me Emrys.

The fog reforms and turns blue. A blue boat draws near. Dory sits on the bow, legs lazily dangling.

CONSTANS (OVER INTERCOM)
Next, from Blueberg, Dory Amador!

Dory blows a kiss to the camera and excitedly waves.

DORY
Mamita always said you can’t beat the power of love, and I’ve got so much love you may as well give up!

KING EMRYS
Though her teacher says her head is full of stupid, Dory says she has a heart full of love and intends to not only find her own Mr. Right, but also rule with a focus upon medicine and tender loving care!

Dory hops off the boat. Her gaze is swiftly upon Adam.

DORY
Why hello there~!

ADAM
You wish.

DORY
Guilty~!

King Emrys discreetly <SNICKERS> over this. As he does so the fog turns yellow and a yellow boat approaches the docks.

CONSTANS (OVER INTERCOM)
From Yellowshire, Zinnia Quinn!

Zinnia stands proudly atop the boat, sheer determination on her face... and more than a little self-assured smugness.

ZINNIA
Bring it on! You’ve never seen a mind like mine!

She smugly <LAUGHS>, echoing across the waves.

Jakey Jakers@utterlyjake· 26d

Yeah, you know it!! Like, it's as much funny as feelgood, the staff did a smashing job and knew what they were doing. I think it taught some pretty good lessons too, like imo about toxic positivity, a lesson I've had to learn the hard way before. X_X Plus, the facial expressions. So, so, so good!😂

Molly McGee does the 'Just Do It Darryl Face'. Be afraid, be very afraid. X_X

Jakey Jakers@utterlyjake· 27d

#PortfolioDay All that's to say that if you want a writer who gets all eager with delight over the wonderful challenge of getting creative, crafting a story and building a massive universe of all sorts of locales, people and more, get in touch and let's create something totally awesome~!😍

Jakey Jakers@utterlyjake· Jul 11

If you support ICE, please unfollow me.

We do not share the same moral compass.

I choose compassion over cruelty.

People over power.

Human lives over political points.

History keeps receipts - and this isn't the side you want to be on.

Jakey Jakers@utterlyjake· Jul 1

The lack of physical games in the future is dumb 'n dissapointing to say the least. X_X At least I'll always have ol' reliable to turn to...

The box of Micro Machines V3 for the PS1.

Jakey Jakers@utterlyjake· Jun 30

Pride Month ends *only* when Sagittaria *says* it ends... and that means never, because if you don't support LGBTQ+ folk all year, every year, you'll be ripped a new one!💥

Jakey Jakers@utterlyjake· Jun 28

Well worth talking business with Juicy, dude's mad talented *and* really good at bringing to life my always ongoing hyperfixation - the Micro Machines gang~ Seriously, get in touch! ^_^

Spider from Micro Machines gets his mugshot taken. He grimly stares down the camera, clearly regretting the last few hours of his life.

He's the Barbie of the meme.

Bonnie from Micro Machines gets her mugshot taken. Always a peppy gremlin, she's fairly chill over the whole thing, as if it's just a typical day.

She's the Ken of the meme.

Jakey Jakers@utterlyjake· Jun 27

#ScriptSky #FirstPageFriday I'm sure nobody would mind me sharing 2 pages 'n the poster for Micro Machines: The Movie, hmm?🤭 A tale adapted from the 1991 video game, selective mute Spider tries to leave his past behind... but finds himself forced to face it in a micro-sized racing tournament.

In the drivers’ seat MAGENTA (30s, Latin), a purple haired social worker, steadily keeps the car going down the road.

MAGENTA
--Spider? Spider, are you awake?

A figure is laying down across the backseats, out of view.

MAGENTA (CONT'D)
We’re almost there. I’m sure you’re gonna like it in Parvusville.
Silence. The figure laying down neither speaks nor moves.

MAGENTA
You don’t need to speak, not after all that. But... a simple ‘OK’ would work.
(quieter)
Or a thank you for spending all that money on your outfit.

The figure raises a hand, giving a brief thumbs up.

MAGENTA
Good enough, I suppose.

EXT. PARVUSVILLE OUTSKIRTS - CONTINUOUS

A quiet road leading down a hill overlooking a woodland town. From afar it’s a sparse neighbourhood, a small downtown district and a sizeable park.

The car drives towards it, heading downhill towards a bridge, passing by a cracked billboard: ‘Welcome to Parvusville’.

A NASA sticker is blatantly slapped across the rear bumper.

MAGENTA (O.S.)
But, this outfit you picked. Isn’t all of this... a bit much?

The car heads over the bridge as distant COWS <MOO>. A TINY BEAR, barely two inches tall, scurries across the road.

EXT. GROUP HOME - DAY
The car pulls up outside of a large rustic building at the end of a suburban street. Chipped paint. Cracked window.

MAGENTA
Well, here you are. I’d stay and see you indoors, but I have three more fosters to meet with. I trust that you can settle yourself in?

Jakey Jakers@utterlyjake· Jun 27

I guess all that's to say this was a well done, airtight written story and I thoroughly enjoyed every moment of it. Oh, and that final credits song? The *chills*, so damn well done.That's right up there with Through The Darkness as S-tier ending OST. <3 My cast ranking btw! /10

A tier-list of the cast of the TV series Among Us.

S: Red, Cyan, Purple
A: Green, Black
B: Yellow, Brown
C: Blue, Lime
D: Orange, White

Jakey Jakers@utterlyjake· Jun 24

tbh thinking it might be time to try my hand at writing a pilot / typical episode of Micro Machines: The Series, and I think I know exactly which of the OG racers to put the A-Plot focus on~ Hey, we all need some fun 'n whimsy in these tough times and this is how I'm finding mine. <3 #ScriptSky

A sprite of Anne from Micro Machines, a girl with a green shirt and her brunette hair in pigtails 'n a prominant blush upon her face. Implied, if just by the youthful look of her sprite's design compared to the others, to be the youngest of the Micro Machines gang.

She's more snarky and grumpy than she at first appears, if her losing animation is anything to go by...

Screenshot from the title page in Final Draft.

MICRO MACHINES: THE SERIES

EPISODE 1: SUGAR ANNE-T

Written by me~!

Jakey Jakers@utterlyjake· Jun 19

When stranded on a primal world full of monsters, it'd be nice to be equipped with useful tech that can send out a distress signal or at least tell you where in the galaxy you are. Alas, Sagittaria's stuck with the crummy star pad.💀 Artwork by @wonderwaffle93.bsky.social! #FunPageFriday #ScriptSky

Sagittaria opens the first aid kid. Takes out a bottle of ‘Relief Serum’. Splashes it over her burns.

She sighs in partial-relief... but the half-full bottle didn’t heal all of her burns.

Trying to ignore the pain, she turns on the Star Pad.

SAGITTARIA
Star Pad, where am I?

STAR PAD
Unknown, but the air is breathable.

Sagittaria removes her oxygen mask. Puts it away.

SAGITTARIA
Unknown? Any past explorations from other empires? Maybe The Loomers?
(nervous)
Or The Ayug?

STAR PAD
Unknown.

SAGITTARIA
Any intelligent life?

STAR PAD
Unknown.

SAGITTARIA
Anything to eat?

STAR PAD
Unknown.

SAGITTARIA
(frustrated)
Do you know anything?!

STAR PAD
The plastic thing at the end of a shoelace is called an aglet.

SAGITTARIA
Anything relevant?!

STAR PAD
Unknown.

Sagittaria SCREAMS skyward. Punches a tree. She pauses as a haunting gust of wind blows through the clearing.

Sagittaria Pondleton, a muscular 5'0 anthro duck woman of brown feathers and long blonde hair, aged 20. She wears gold-yellow pants, green sleeveless tank top, combat boots and an army helmet marked with a number 22.

She is so very done-with-it-all and an inch away from throwing a massive fit, such tranquil rage burning in her eyes. Why? Her Star Pad is worse than useless, hence why she's crushing it to a pulp in her mighty fist.

Jakey Jakers@utterlyjake· Jun 15

Down in The Underdark you'll find many vicious monsters and cunning villains... and fighting them time and again, The Light in the Dark: Meryl Gloomguard, paladin extraordinaire!🌟 Thanks a ton @wonderwaffle93.bsky.social, top-tier work on my deep gnome girl! ^_^ #BG3 #GnomeGirl #Tav #DnD

Name: Meryl Gloomguard (AKA Custom Origin / Tav)
Race: Deep Gnome
Class: Paladin (Oath of The Ancients)
Background: Folk Hero
Stat Scores (Slightly adjusted from BG3 to fit personally crafted lore)
Str: 18
Dex: 12
Con: 13
Int: 7
Wis: 9
Cha: 16
Favoured Weapon: Blood of Lathander

Appearence
Meryl is a Black 3'4 deep gnome. Her hair - naturally a dark raven - is dyed to be pink on her right and purple on her left, done so as a means to remember two dear fallen friends and the severe self-blame she feels over what happened that harrowing day. Being a gnome, her ears are quite pointy and her right has two spiky piercings in it. On her face are some pink tattoos, mostly of the dotted variety (under eyes, down forehead) and a small line (chin).

She's wearing a puffy white undershirt and over it a corset - its colour a mixture of gold along the edges and indigo elsewhere - with black strings at the front and a purple underlayer. Her pats are a simple deep tan brown.

She has her right fist upon her right hip and clenches her left hand into a confident fist. She's looking right at the viewer, giving them a confident, almost teasy little smirk - she's ready for anything! That is anything but a Math test; Meryl's got a learning disability and plenty of insecurity over it; she's capable of much more than she thinks, she just needs someone who believes in her to get it all done... maybe someone like a certain Wizard of Waterdeep? ;)

Jakey Jakers@utterlyjake· Jun 14

Admittedly semi-obscure is a big stretch, if not outright probably wrong, but it's fair to say that Scooby Doo and the Ghoul School was a major part of my childhood, given it was often playing on Cartoon Network and we had it on VHS too. I don't care how silly the plot is, it's precious to me!😭

Cover of Scooby Doo and the Ghoul School. Shaggy and Scooby work to brew a potion in a caldron, while Tanis the Mummy and Elsa Frankenteen watch on.

Jakey Jakers@utterlyjake· Jun 12

Drop something PINK 🌸👚🩷

Killertron from Robot Wars. Specifically the pilot episode: Series 1 Heat A. A bot of six wheels, bright pink armour made from a wheely bin lid and a big damn pickaxe.

Axe no questions, tell no lies~

Jakey Jakers@utterlyjake· Jun 10

Post a cartoon you remember that nobody else remembers

Poster for Scruff, a Catalan cartoon. It's about a puppy on a farm going on whimsical adventures. The titular pup is in the foreground mid-dash. Overlaid are mugshots of other characters like Strummer the Flea, Sandra the collie and so forth.

Jakey Jakers@utterlyjake· Jun 9

Aaaaaand here's the flag too, doh!

The trans community flag, blue pink and white striped.

Jakey Jakers@utterlyjake· Jun 8

I'm getting really invested in this now.😎 Before Meryl grew to be the heroine who defeated The Absolute (and fell for a wizard), she was a cheerful child and something of the 'unusually strong clan ditz'. Her darkest day led to her true calling - becoming a Paladin. #BaldursGate3 #FanFic #Tav

"Oh, don't you go encouraging her!" Kicknick whined. "Adventurers go where the gold is, they're not gonna just help a few kids who got lost in the rain."

"Maybe a paladin would?" Meryl said. "Mum always said they're the kindest adventurers and helping a few lost kids would be really nice."

"Sure, because a paladin is gonna just wander on by," Kicknick scoffed. "We'd have more chance of a-"

Meryl didn't pay her friend much mind, not when a figure was wandering across the grass nearby. The long sword they held, the fancy shield, the plated armour and absolutely no sign of either a bow or any arrows their unseen adversary surely held… yes, it was definitely a paladin.

What luck! Could something be called too good to be true if it was standing right in front of them and was visibly real? Meryl doubted it. All she knew was that, with a paladin lending them a helping hand, they'd be home before they were missed and Meryl wouldn't land herself in any trouble with her Mother! They were saved!

"Hello! Excuse me! Over here!" Meryl called out, bouncing upon her heels and waving her arms around ridiculously.

"What are you-HOW IN THE HELLS-" Kicknick spluttered as she spotted the paladin.

"Ssssssh! Don't question it!" Sherba whispered. "We're gonna be OK now!"

The Paladin was quick to approach the girls, looking them over. For a moment it felt to Meryl that perhaps the paladin's gaze lingered upon her a little longer than her friends.

In the moments prior to a surely deadly fight, Meryl embraces Gale. Meryl's a Black deep gnome and physically very tough. Her class is a Paladin, specifically Oath of Ancients. Her hair is a shoulder length dyed mix of pink and purple, and she's adorned in truly formidable armour.

Gale, seen from the back, is a charming wizard from Waterdeep dealing with the slight issue of having a nuke in his chest.

Jakey Jakers@utterlyjake· Jun 7

SMILING SO WIDELY MY CHEEKS ARE STARTING TO HURT, BUT WHO CARES?! NEW SPYRO, LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOO!!! AND MY BOY LEARNED HOW TO FLY AFTER ALL THIS TIME!! Now if they just make Bianca playable too...🥺

Jakey Jakers@utterlyjake· Jun 6

#ScriptSky #ScriptChat When comedy proves hard, why not head out for a pizza break? Introducing Faze, Cassidy's ditzy friend and Godfrey's lifelong best friend. Now, don't you go telling anyone... but Godfrey and Faze secretly like-like each other!🤯 It's really embaressing for *everyone*. X_X

INT. CREEPY PIZZA - DINING FLOOR - DAY

A frightful pizza restaurant. Tables designed to look like screaming pizzas, eerie <AMBIENCE> and very fair prices!

MRS. FAINT (39) floats at the cash register. MR. FAINT (38) floats within the kitchen, setting up pizza toppings.

MRS. FAINT
Don’t forget to stock the olives this time, dear!

MR. FAINT
But they taste frightful!

MRS. FAINT
You say that like it’s a bad thing!

Over at a table near the door a young ghost sits with a stack of kiddie menus, each with an identical maze upon them.

FAZE (13): cute as a button, scary as a bee. Glows a bright shade of pink. Hair in pigtails. Quite literally an airhead.

Faze moves aside a finished maze and begins working on the next one, tongue between her teeth.

FAZE
Almost, almost...

We follow the progress of her pen. Up a corridor... and down to the right. A dead end!

FAZE
Doh!

Faze draws the line the other way and off to the maze’s exit.

She places the maze upon the stack; she has made the exact same mistake on all of them.

MRS. FAINT
Faze? Faze! Those mazes are for the customers!

FAZE
But I bought a pop!

She gestures at a bottle of pop beside her. Mrs. Faint trails off, letting it go for now.

MRS. FAINT
Well, leave some for the customers, could you?

FAZE
Yes Mom!

Jakey Jakers@utterlyjake· Jun 6

#FirstPageFriday #ScriptChat It takes more than an anxiety surge to keep me from doing what I love, such as writing a new Vegetarian Zombie script.💪 Here we see Godfrey - a ghost who'd rather tell jokes than scare people - is planning his act, but Cassidy has her doubts over how good it is.🥕🧟‍♀️

EXT. SCARY SNOWBURG - DAY

The sun rises over the snow covered town. Distant <SCREAMS> and ghostly <CACKLES> can be heard.

GODFREY (O.S.)
OK, OK, how about this? What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
(beat)
Nacho cheese!

CASSIDY (O.S.)
Oh my goodness Godfrey, that pun’s more dead on arrival than me!

INT. GODFREY’S ROOM - DAY

A bedroom of eerie wallpaper, a bed shaped like a ghost train and various sheets of paper of scrawled notes laying around.

Two tweens sit across from each other atop the bed.

CASSIDY (13): Princess of the Zombies. Favours broccoli, not brains. Gold of heart, pale blue of skin, indigo of overalls.

GODFREY (13): lanky frame. Smart bow-tie. Glowing a light shade of blue. Tries a bit too hard to be funny.

GODFREY
What? What’s wrong with it? Don’t you get it?

CASSIDY
No, I-

GODFREY
No? Look, it’s nacho cheese! It sounds like ‘not yo’, as in not yours and so-

CASSIDY
I know that, I just think it’s a bit too cheesy!

A pitiful <WHINE> emits from under the bed. Cassidy <HUFFS>.

CASSIDY
Oh come on Scorch, you know I’m right! Admit it!

A fluffy creature emerges from under the bed, still letting out a pitiful <WHINE>. Cassidy scoops them up for a cuddle.

Jakey Jakers@utterlyjake· Jun 5

Cool and based people would leap upon the chance being offered to you here! Something as awesome as this could be yours, so don't miss out~!

A deep cavern of stalagmites, stalagtites and mist filling the darkness. Tough rocks mean tough navigation.

Sagittaria - a 20 year old anthro duck woman of lush blonde hair, brown feathers and 5'0 of height - finds her way with a powerful torch. She stands in alert, horrified at the sight of what she's just discovered.

A massive salmon reddish-pink biomass of ooze and flesh, a Hunger Wall, the alpha underground predator of the Hy continent. The gooey beast stretches out, its tentecles sticky and splaying out from floor to cavern roof in search of prey. It's covered all over in bulging eerie eyes and several mouths full of horribly sharp teeth.

Fun fact about Hunger Walls; touching them knocks out your nervous system. Following that, you'll be dragged within to be turned into chum. Fire would be effective, but alas, the flamethrower was lost in the crash, so Sagittaria better work out a back-up plan...

Jakey Jakers@utterlyjake· Jun 4

Well, time to be emotionally destroyed~! #TADC

Jakey Jakers@utterlyjake· Jun 3

The urge won and my hands started typing away, as they are prone to doing.🤭 #BG3 #Fanfic

AN OATH IN THE DARK
---
Whether sworn before a god's altar and the witness of a priest, in a sacred glade before nature spirits and fey beings, or in a moment of desperation and grief with the dead as the only witness, a paladin's oath is a powerful bond.
---
The Underdark was just as its name would imply. It was underground and it was dark. There was nothing hard to understand about its name.

It was a locale travelled through by many. Some would be in and out so quick one might think they thought the place diseased. Perhaps some such folk did. Some would use it as a means of hiding stock, treasure and even people, like the trade and the spoils of The Zhentarim. For others it was a prison, a place to waste away after banishment or having been thrown down and having the sheer misfortune to survive the sudden stop at the bottom.

Then there were those for whom it was home. Perhaps not hospitable even then, but home all the same. The Drow and their shady deals that led many to the wrong side of a sharp, poisoned dagger. The wretched legs and clicking teeth of Phase Spiders, ever so hard to land so much as a hit on being they'd be on top of a traveller. The Duergar, as ruthless as they were masters at crafting wonders of no good intent.

But not everything in the Underdark was quite as grim and shadowy as the name may imply. Dark did not mean evil. There were kinder folk if you searched the shadows, and amongst them were the Deep Gnomes.

And amongst such gnomes, there was Meryl, ten years old to the count of the orbs of time across the darkness and once again skirting duties for a chance to see the surface world.

Jakey Jakers@utterlyjake· Jun 3

The urge to write fanfic / lore of my BG3 character, Meryl, burns strong tonight.🤔