Monkey One

@vitruvianmonkey

Livin’ the farce, baby!

283 Folgt710 Follower7.093 Posts

Bluesky

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Monkey One@vitruvianmonkey· 28d

A black and white title card reading, “PRC PICTURES Presents I ACCUSE MY PARENTS”

There is a silhouette of movie theater seats with two robots and a man sitting on the right side.

Monkey One@vitruvianmonkey· 28d

“I agree.”

A corpse-like bald Buddhist monk from the game Sekiro wearing orange and black robes standing in a forested area.

Monkey One@vitruvianmonkey· Jul 12

Also, win for me, I guess.

A post from me this morning reading: Very sad to hear Lindsey Graham died of natural causes. I wanted him to die in a much more ironic way.

Monkey One@vitruvianmonkey· Jul 9

“Please pull me over.”

A black Texas vanity license plate reading 80PROOF on a truck.

Monkey One@vitruvianmonkey· Jul 7

To be clear, I know that’s an incredibly unlikely scenario,

Stretched out horizontally version of Professor Farnsworth from Futurama saying, “A man can dream though”

Monkey One@vitruvianmonkey· Jul 7

*Post Removed* Oh no you don’t!

Post from JStar @jstar2.Bsky.social

AIPAC double barrel shots fired

(A picture of an AIPAC tweet quoting Bernie Sanders where they say, “Our individual grassroots members are proud to support strong and principled Democrats running for Senate. Really want to talk about Senate candidates today, Bernie?” Below this is a picture of Bernie holding up Platner’s hand.)

The quoted Bernie tweet reads, “AIPAC, and other billionaire-funded PACs, are spending millions to buy the Democratic primaries in Michigan and…”

Monkey One@vitruvianmonkey· Jul 7

First panel: John Oliver in an all black suit holding up his hands. The text reads, “Let me explain this in a way you’ll understand.”

Second panel: John Oliver with his mouth open speaking. Text reads, “Our ice cream machine is down.”

Third and fourth panels: A white lady with blonde hair in a white suit slaps John.

Fifth panel: John looks shocked and upset.

Monkey One@vitruvianmonkey· Jul 6

You know who DIDN’T endorse Platner despite sharing a campaign advisor and generally similar politics?

Zohran Mamdani smiling. He is an Indian man with short straight hair and a beard. There is a microphone in front of him partially cut off by the shot.

Monkey One@vitruvianmonkey· Jul 6

Homer Simpson looking at a book that I have made say SOCCER GAME on the cover and squinting. The text in the upper left corner reads, “Hmmm. I don’t like soccer, but I do like yelling at the English.”

Monkey One@vitruvianmonkey· Jul 6

Yep. That’s what it’s like.

Post one in the timeline:

Luke O'Neil @lukeoneil47.bsky.social • 32m
The beauty of sports is you can just decide at any point "I give a shit about this now. Against all reason." Ten minutes later you hate one of the teams more than life and it's all downhill from there.

Post below it:

Reposted by rabidya
utopia deferred @utopia-defer.red • 24m
| HATE THE ENGL*SH I HATE THE ENGL*SH I HATE THE ENGL*SH I HATE THE ENGL*SH I HATE THE ENGL*SH I HATE THE ENGL*SH I HATE THE ENGL*SH I HATE THE ENGL*SH I HATE THE ENGL*SH I HATE THE ENGL*SH I HATE THE ENGL*SH I HATE THE ENGL*SH I HATE THE ENGL*SH I HATE THE ENGL*SH I HATE THE ENGL*SH I HATE THE ENGL

Monkey One@vitruvianmonkey· Jul 5

Americans, do not panic. The President has become stuck in an infinitely regressing loop. Top fractal scientists are already working to free him from his non-Euclidean prison.

A back view of Trump and other people through a window watching the footage of themselves.

Monkey One@vitruvianmonkey· Jul 3

After Trump dies they’re going to sell his body off in these.

A hand holding a disc with pastel green and brown around the outside, yellow markings inside of that, and a picture at the center that looks like a stone with the Ferengi symbol in the middle. The vacuum-desiccated remains of a Ferengi are supposed to be inside.

Monkey One@vitruvianmonkey· Jul 2

Here’s the removed context.

Post from Sean
@flyingwalruss.bsky.social

Our sports teams are for the people. Yea, terrible, annoying, hypocritical people will celebrate whenever we win & that's just life. Gotta get over it.
I am not ceding my enjoyment, our teams, or our athletes to worst people out there.

Beneath this is a picture of two posts from Victoria Scott reading:

Am I the only American rooting for us to lose

And

You cannot underestimate how much I fucking hate this country man

Monkey One@vitruvianmonkey· Jul 1

Well that’s an easily disproven lie from a poisoned mind that continues to support Democrats like Chris Murphy who actually create bills to restrict immigration. From the DSA on the left and the Democrat on the right:

As socialists we support reforms that would grant immediate permanent resident status to all current undocumented workers and their children and that would establish an expeditious and non punitive route to citizenship for these workers and their families.
As socialists, we struggle for a system that produces security, not insecurity. We need a commitment to equality and equal status for all. We need to make it easier for workers to organize and protect themselves through unions. All workers must have full labor rights, including the right to organize, the right to protest unjust labor conditions, the right to change employers, and the right to form unions of their choice. We will work with immigrant rights organizations to promote family reunification, to halt deportations, to demilitarize our borders, and to help all of our children- regardless of legal status- to realize the dream of attaining a university education.

Shown Here:
Introduced in Senate (05/16/2024)
Border Act of 2024
The bill expands Department of Homeland Security (DHS) authority to address the processing of non-U.S. nationals (aliens under federal law) and provides supplemental appropriations for related purposes.
Among other provisions, the bill provides DHS emergency authority to summarily remove or prohibit the entry of certain non-U.S. nationals within 100 miles of the southwest land border. DHS may exercise this authority if DHS encounters an average of 4,000 non-U.S. nationals within a seven-day period. If the number of encounters reach certain higher thresholds, DHS must exercise the emergency authority. This emergency border authority expires after three years and may be modified by the President under specified circumstances.
Next, the bill establishes an expedited process that authorizes asylum officers to adjudicate certain asylum claims. Among other provisions, these provisional noncustodial removal proceedings impose certain target timelines for determining asylum claims and limit review of denied claims. The bill also establishes a stricter threshold for individuals to remain in the United States pending adjudication of an asylum petition.
The bill extends and establishes immigration pathways for Afghan citizens or nationals, including by (1) making certain individuals admitted or paroled to the United States eligible for conditional permanent resident status, and (2) expanding eligibility for special immigrant visas for certain individuals who were injured while supporting the U.S. mission in Afghanistan.
The bill also increases base pay for asylum officers and grants DHS temporary direct hire authority to hire personnel to implement the bill.

Monkey One@vitruvianmonkey· Jun 29

These companies could have saved so much money by just hiring me for $250,000 a year to tell them when the newest thing is too good to be true.

Research from Orgvue reinforces this: Companies spend approximately $1.27 for every $1 saved through workforce reductions once severance, productivity losses and replacement costs are properly accounted for.

Monkey One@vitruvianmonkey· Jun 27

@acabdriver.bsky.social Check out how Dave DeVries depicted Burroughs shooting Joan in The Big Book of Weirdos.

A surrealistic six panels beginning with a humanoid cactus that Burroughs is hallucinating and ending with his shooting his wife who is standing in front of a demon opening its stomach.

Monkey One@vitruvianmonkey· Jun 27

A brown and grey snake-like creature with an ovoid mouth full of teeth.

Monkey One@vitruvianmonkey· Jun 27

The programmed response of “SHOW UP AND VOTE!” from the moderate drones makes way less sense when you’re yelling at people for voting in a primary in a way you don’t like.

Quote tweet of Jaime Harrison’s tantrum from Fred Guttenberg reading:

Absolutely agree with @harrisonjaime.

If you want to call yourself a Democrat, doing to this party what MAGA did to the Republican party is not the answer. Support the party and let's work together to defeat MAGA and this administration.
In November, don't sit home. Don't engage in protest votes. SHOW UP AND VOTE!

Monkey One@vitruvianmonkey· Jun 26

Anyway, it’s really funny to accuse this guy of advocating for surrendering Taiwan to China.

Wang Chih-Ming is Research Fellow and Deputy Director of the Institute of European and American Studies, Academia Sinica, Taiwan

Monkey One@vitruvianmonkey· Jun 26

I don’t think that really has anything to do with my post about Star Trek ship names.

A reply to me reading, “How soon do we get a Orange starship or USS
MAGA well how soon?”

Monkey One@vitruvianmonkey· Jun 25

My wife’s latest peach rose.

A rose on a leafy stem that is white with peach and pink. It’s quite stunning.

Monkey One@vitruvianmonkey· Jun 25

I don’t actually use it, but I do like to check the google AI for mistakes. Check out this last one when you search for mondegreen.

Some of the most famously misheard lyrics include:
• Jimi Hendrix: "Excuse me while I kiss the sky" is commonly misheard as "Excuse me while I kiss this guy".
• Elton John: "Hold me closer, tiny dancer" is often misheard as "Hold me closer, Tony Danza".
• Manfred Mann's Earth Band: "Revved up like a deuce" is widely misheard as "Wrapped up like a douche".
• Creedence Clearwater Revival: "There's a bad moon on the rise" gets misheard as "There's a bathroom on the right".
• Taylor Swift: "I get so many men" is famously misheard by many as "I've got a long list of ex-lovers" in her song "Blank Space."

Clearly that last one is wrong and the sources listed next to it start with Reddit.

Monkey One@vitruvianmonkey· Jun 25

Daffy Duck in a spotlight wearing a devil costume holding a grey stoppered bottle on a stage and gesturing to it while smiling. There is an open suitcase to the left.

Monkey One@vitruvianmonkey· Jun 20

Close enough.

Me quoting a post from Jen Bendery showing someone lifting blue paint from the water reading: A coupla people passing by ripped off little pieces to keep for posterity *smiley face*

My quote text is:
Jeanine Piro is going to try to prosecute these people for theft of government property, and I am not even making a little joke.

Monkey One@vitruvianmonkey· Jun 20

????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Romney Campaign Press Release - Mitt Romney Announces
Support of Donald Trump
February 02, 2012
Mitt Romney today announced the support of Donald Trump.
Mr. Trump joins a growing list of over 2,500 elected officials, leaders and activists from across the country who have endorsed Mitt Romney.
"I am humbled by the endorsements I have received from Republicans across the political spectrum. Donald Trump's endorsement of me today sends a strong signal that he believes we have the best chance to make President Obama a one-term president," said Mitt Romney. "We share both a background in the private sector and a belief that Washington needs to get out of the way of small business.
His support is a sign that business leaders are fed up with Washington and want someone with actual experience creating jobs and working in the real economy in the White House.”

Monkey One@vitruvianmonkey· Jun 18

OK, your primary concern is drug prices. From the Platner campaign website:

2. EXPAND DRUG PRICE NEGOTIATION
There is no better example of big pharma's corporate greed and Washington politicians' corporate capture than the fact that Medicare and Medicaid cannot negotiate most drug prices. Our current piecemeal approach is not enough. Medicare and Medicaid should be fully empowered to secure the best possible price for American consumers.
3. PERMIT THE IMPORTATION OF LOWER-COST PRESCRIPTION DRUGS
If pharmaceutical companies want to price gouge in American markets, Americans must be empowered to purchase and import from other markets. Mainers are driving hours and crossing international borders just to afford life saving prescriptions that are hundreds and sometimes thousands of dollars cheaper in Canada? This must end.
4. BAN STOCK BUYBACKS AND CAP EXECUTIVE COMPENSATION FOR ALL COMPANIES RECEIVING FEDERAL DOLLARS
Any pharmaceutical company that wants to see even one dollar of public funds should be required to refrain from stock buybacks and to cap executive compensation. Public research
dollars must not fuel corporate greed.
5. ESTABLISH A NATIONWIDE PUBLIC DRUG
MANUFACTURING SECTOR
Public drug manufacturing in California has dramatically lowered naloxone and insulin prices, and offers a powerful tool to close the gap between prices paid by American consumers and those paid by the rest of the world.® Lifesaving drugs are a public good, and it is time the public sector guaranteed access to cheap generics.

Monkey One@vitruvianmonkey· Jun 18

Everyone saw this and said, “That’s too obnoxious. No.”

Mallory McMorrow dancing in a hall with a drumline and a giant cutout of her own face.

Monkey One@vitruvianmonkey· Jun 16

Ah well, you live and you learn very obvious lessons.

A dark blue sign bordered in gold with Hebrew and English in gold reading “Trump Heights” and with crossed Israeli and American flags at the top. Netanyahu his standing at the podium in the bottom right talking to settlers. There are no good people in this photo.

Monkey One@vitruvianmonkey· Jun 16

May I interest you in a morning window snooze?

A tuxedo cat lying half on a windowsill and half on a bed with blue blankets.

Monkey One@vitruvianmonkey· Jun 14

This is basically what the Knicks did to Trump’s bad vibes.