Wendy Reynolds

@wendles1967

Fat, middle-aged guinea pig servant. UK Further Education data wrangler. Crafter of adorable little costumes for sourdough starters. Mostly here to read rather than post. She/her, plus perhaps a light sprinkling of they/them as an occasional treat.

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Bluesky

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Wendy Reynolds@wendles1967· 19d

[sternly] Shiny, my sweet, my babe, my dude, my very dear friend, this is the Wagging Finger of Authority reminding you it's Right and Proper to give your corporeal form a break.

Wendy Reynolds@wendles1967· 26d

I will probably not be bringing teeny tiny teacups on the 2027 tour because they're Just Too Fiddly; but I am quite unreasonably pleased with this one.

A tiny crocheted pink teacup filled with crocheted tea, held in a white woman's fingertips.

A tiny crocheted pink teacup, viewed from above so you can see that it's filled with crocheted tea.

A tiny crocheted pink teacup, turned upside down so you can see that I did a rather neat job of the base.

Wendy Reynolds@wendles1967· 27d

The 2025 pumpkins...

A pile of about 40 adorable little crocheted pumpkins in a variety of colours and styles.

Wendy Reynolds@wendles1967· Feb 10

Orange album cover.

Cover art of the album 'Origin of Symmetry' by Muse. Against a flat, dull orange background stand many roughly-drawn structures like very tall American Football goalposts, casting long black shadows on the featureless white ground.

Wendy Reynolds@wendles1967· Dec 20

Magic is happening in my kitchen, presided over by the inestimable @alasdairstuart.bsky.social and @margueritekenner.bsky.social. MAGIC, I TELL YOU.

Photo of Alasdair (a tall white guy wearing a maroon top, blue jeans, an apron and a cheeky smile) cooking something that smells fucking amazing in my kitchen. Peering round Alasdair's shoulder is Marguerite, who's making bunny ears behind his head.

Wendy Reynolds@wendles1967· Nov 28

Rolls okay though.

Wendy Reynolds@wendles1967· Nov 28

But the IMPORTANT thing about it is, the spots glow in the dark.

An awful, fuzzy photo of the same crocheted dice from the previous post, demonstrating that the spots glow in the dark.

Wendy Reynolds@wendles1967· Nov 28

It seemed important this evening to take a break from crocheting little vegetables, to knock together a dice instead.

A photo of a crocheted six-sided dice held in a white woman's hand. It's about four centimetres across, and is made out of orange yarn with pale blue spots made by bloody sewing 21 bloody French bloody sodding knots. (I despise sewing, in case you hadn't guessed.)

Wendy Reynolds@wendles1967· Nov 28

Please enjoy my newest sprouty child!

A photo of a crocheted brussels sprout held in a woman's hand. It's made with a mixture of purple and green yarn, it's four leaves have frilly edges, and it has yellow and black eyes that are staring into your soul (but in a friendly and supportive way, honest).

Wendy Reynolds@wendles1967· Nov 20

It's giving it a jolly good try!

A photo of a suburban English garden on a dull November day. A wet stone patio with odd bits of garden furniture gives way to a green lawn, in which stands a cherry tree with no leaves but branches covered with green lichen. Further away are more trees and bushes, and beyond a wooden fence at the far end of the garden is the neighbours' red brick house. The sky above is a dull grey, and snow is falling and sticking on the ground in a thin but growing layer.

Wendy Reynolds@wendles1967· Nov 20

Er ner mark 2, but this time it's sticking.

Wendy Reynolds@wendles1967· Nov 19

Yep, that snow was fake news.

A photo of a suburban English garden on a sunny November day. A wet stone patio with odd bits of garden furniture gives way to a green lawn, in which stands a cherry tree with no leaves but branches covered with green lichen. Further away are more trees and bushes, including two apple trees with bright ripe fruit weighing down otherwise bare branches. Beyond a wooden fence at the far end of the garden is the neighbours' red brick house. The sky above is a rich blue with grey and white clouds in the distance, carrying away the last of this morning's snow, none of which can be seen now.

Wendy Reynolds@wendles1967· Nov 19

Er ner.

Wendy Reynolds@wendles1967· Oct 2

Tiny crocheted vegetables, spooky season edition:

A lineup of five little crocheted pumpkins in a variety of autumnal colours. Three are knobbly and two are smooth, and they all have a little stalk in a contrasting colour. In front of them is a green crocheted leaf with a twisty vine; I haven't yet decided whether to attach it to one of the pumpkins.

A little crocheted pumpkin held in a middle-aged white woman's hand to demonstrate that it's really quite small. It's knobbly and orange (the pumpkin, not the hand) with a brown stem.

Wendy Reynolds@wendles1967· Sep 24

"... which keeps My suspect edifice upright in air, As Atlas did the sky." (From 'Atlas' by U A Fanthorpe, which Greg had his best man read to me at our wedding.)

Statue of Atlas holding up the sky, from the Royal Palace in Amsterdam. Atlas is carved from white marble, heavily muscled and wearing only a loincloth. The sky is depicted as a turquoise globe with gold constellations picked out on its surface.

Wendy Reynolds@wendles1967· Aug 25

My ridiculous crochet vegetables took second prize at the Fulford Show. 😂 (My cherry lace wasn't placed, even though it's a lot more technically impressive.)

A photo of several crocheted items on a wooden table. At the front is a collection of four little crocheted vegetables - a neat little white cauliflower, a purple cauliflower with large sprawling leaves, an artichoke, and a brussels sprout with eyes. Next to them is a card declaring that they've won second prize in the Fulford Show. Towards the back is a square of pale pink lace with a cherry pattern, which let me tell you is jolly tricky to make and yet didn't get placed at all, go figure.

Wendy Reynolds@wendles1967· Aug 24

It's a tossup between Watership Down and Silent Running; but if we count 16 as a child then I'd have to say Threads. Yeah, *definitely* Threads.

The movie that traumatised me most as a child was -.

Wendy Reynolds@wendles1967· Aug 11

He raised Bandit into a hefty and confident adult, like the good Uncle he was.

A photo of two guinea pigs. On the left is Onion, an adult smooth-haired brown, tan and white guinea pig with a white blaze on his face. On the right is the much smaller Bandit, a baby white guinea pig with a brown face, whose fluffy fur makes him look like a little pompom. A speech bubble pointing to Onion reads "the Hour of my Noble Uncledom is at hand, little One" while a thought bubble coming from Bandit reads "time 4 humpy crimes" with the cheeky text emoticon >:3c

Wendy Reynolds@wendles1967· Aug 11

My little man Onion's days of begging for pea flakes are over. 😥 The best pig.

Photo of Onion the guinea pig as a baby. He was a tiny brown, tan and white guinea pig with a white blaze on his face. Like all baby guinea pigs, he was fully furred and his eyes were open the day he was born, and he appeared to be approximately fifty percent head and ears. His little feet were perfect, even though he didn't really know how to use them yet.

Photo of Onion the guinea pig at four and a half years old. He was a handsome smooth-haired brown, tan and white guinea pig with a white blaze on his face. His little feet were still perfect.

Wendy Reynolds@wendles1967· Jul 24

Argh! Distant hugs and MWAH from the tiny emotional support vegetables.

A photo of a tiny crocheted brussels sprout, fashioned out of shiny green yarn. It has huge red eyes which stare directly into the depths of your soul, but in a totally friendly way, honest.

Wendy Reynolds@wendles1967· Jul 14

I don't always bother faffing about with putting organza bags all over the cherry tree to stop the birds scoffing the lot, but I'm glad I did this year because *look* how lush!

A photo of a large purple colander on a dark grey countertop, heaped full of shiny, perfectly ripe black cherries. I can confirm that they taste every bit as good as they look.

Wendy Reynolds@wendles1967· Jul 12

Don'wanna go home.

A selfie of Wendy and Greg. We're a middle-aged overweight white couple, both wearing glasses, and slightly sunburned on our noses and cheeks. Wendy has pink hair and Greg is mostly bald. We're standing in front of a lush green landscape, which is Treshnish on the west coast of the Island of Mull in the Scottish Hebrides. It's a beautiful sunny morning, and neither of us wants to leave.

Wendy Reynolds@wendles1967· Jul 11

Mull pulled out all the stops for our last swim at Calgary before heading home tomorrow.

A photo of Calgary Bay on the west coast of the Island of Mull in the Scottish Hebrides. It's a brilliantly sunny afternoon under a blue sky with just a hint of wispy white clouds. In the foreground are Wendy's chubby white lower legs and feet, propped up on a dark grey rock. White sand with lines of dried brown seaweed stretches towards the sea, which looks warm and inviting. (This is misdirection on the part of the Atlantic Fucking Ocean which was, as usual, jolly nippy; but on a hot sunny day this was, for once, a blessing.) In the distance on the horizon is the rocky Treshnish headland.

Wendy Reynolds@wendles1967· Jul 10

Sending you some Mull coolth. (Oh look, I accidentally caught a flock of little birdies going past!)

A photo of the view through a large three-panelled window, in a cottage on the west coast of the Island of Mull in the Scottish Hebrides. On the window ledge is an assortment of clutter, including a wicker basket of rubbish for recycling. Outside it's a dull, overcast day but the landscape still looks green and lush. There's a grass lawn in the foreground with ferns beyond, stretching away to a rocky headland in the distance. In the right-hand pane of the window, a small flock of four birds is flying past, silhouetted against the pale grey sky.

Wendy Reynolds@wendles1967· Jul 8

Compare and contrast:

A photo taken from the same place as the one in the previous post, looking a few degrees to the right of the other photo. A grassy lawn bordered by a wire fence with a small wooden gate, beyond which is a lush green landscape of grasses, ferns, and wildflowers. It's a bright sunny day, and looking further into the distance we can see some fields and a large rocky hill. Beyond that is the sea, and on the far horizon is a chain of islands.

Wendy Reynolds@wendles1967· Jul 8

Mull is being Very Scotland this evening.

A photo of a landscape at Treshnish, on the west coast of the Island of Mull in the Scottish Hebrides. In the foreground is a green lawn bordered by a wire fence and small wooden gate. Beyond the gate is a lush green landscape of ferns and grasses, which in the middle distance quickly fades into soft grey. It's an overcast and misty evening, and we can't see very far. We certainly can't see the large field, massive rocky hill, Atlantic Ocean, and entire island chain, all of which are concealed in the mist.

Wendy Reynolds@wendles1967· Jul 6

Unexpected sun today, so we got another sea swim. Pleased to report that the Atlantic Fucking Ocean is still jolly bracing, but lovely once the extremities have numbed sufficiently.

A photo of Calgary Bay on the west coast of the Island of Mull in the Scottish Hebrides. The picture is mostly sky, a mixture of white clouds and rich blue. At the bottom of the image you can just see the white sand of the beach and the sea beyond, bracketed by green rocky headlands. You can't tell from the picture, but that there sea was jolly nippy and the cause of much shrieking and swearing as brave swimmers acclimatised.

Wendy Reynolds@wendles1967· Jul 1

Today was a good day, because I swam* in the Atlantic. *Also swore and shouted and cursed a LOT on the way in (and especially when the first waves broke over my shoulders) because, again, Atlantic Fucking Ocean and 11 degrees C felt pretty bracing.

A photo of the sea at Calgary Bay on the west coast of the Island of Mull in the Scottish Hebrides. There's a breaking wave in the foreground, and a green rocky headland in the distance. It's a partially cloudy July day and, while the sun is currently shining, the water doesn't look particularly warm. Just visible in the water are two middle-aged white women, one with pink hair and the other wearing a green bucket hat; they can confirm that the water was indeed jolly bracing, and it took a lot of swearing and shouting to get submerged to shoulder level.

Wendy Reynolds@wendles1967· Jun 27

Sorry, I rather bypassed your actual question didn't I. I wouldn't want to lean on anything less sturdy than a solid handle like mine, for more than a few minutes. I had to stand for 40 minutes at a funeral earlier this year, and my arms and back were painful for a fortnight.

A photo of a walking stick leaning against a wall. It's purple with sparkly decoration on the cane, and a solid purple handle shaped like a number 7 or a lopsided letter T.

Wendy Reynolds@wendles1967· Jun 15

Back on my bullshit. (This is @kameronhurley.com's fault for posting a picture that alerted me to the fact that cauliflowers also come in purple.) ((PURPLE!!))