Bipolar Boy Detective
@wittiestmanalive
Meaningful insights from an absurd, petty human being. The Internet's preeminent anti-horse activist. He/Him.
Everyone sees PBH and quotes Seinfeld. Nobody talks about him as Nixon getting shithouse on Chivas Regal. “I used to get a kick out of calling in plays to the Redskins on the White Phone, and going over bombing targets in Cambodia with Kissinger on the Red Phone, at the same time! That’s FUN!”
tfw her only job is to actually let a person of color talk
Hater. Hater. Hater. Hater. Hater. Hater. Hater. None of you is without sin.
what, you don't think audiences will be instantly drawn in by Ross's natural charisma?
Attention professional critics: the entirety of my next paycheck is yours, if your published review of the new Ryan Murphy series consists solely of the sentence “More like THE SHARTS.”
My idols are all dead, my enemies are in power, and my coworkers write all their emails with AI
further evidence New York Or Nowhere is the official apparel of rich deadbeats who hate New York
MAGA will literally resurrect the gin-bloated corpse of McCarthyism rather than investigate Epstein's clients
the media wing of the Horse Lobby is scrambling to get ahead of negative press, making desperate outreach for more propaganda we've got Big Horse running scared folks
Arrested for what charge? For smoking a succulent Spanish Cigarillo?!
Of course there's only modest hope this accident will spark any legitimate change, because we might actually value human life even less than that of an insane horse.
Here’s my 100% sincere offer, @mayor.nyc.gov: if you finally ban the horses, I will quit my job and start a socialist co-op electric carriage tour company in Central Park. Our first carriage will be named “Fiorello Mamdani” in your honor, and we’ll give you and Rama the inaugural ride.
In 17 years, the first time I ever got got on that bird website was for unauthorized use of the Chronoscope to foretell the owner's fate
A sample of the conservative creeps cheering Barkan's downfall. Right now, these are Ross’s best friends. They give him cover to frame legit critique of his journalistic failings as smears, punishment for his tepid "Leftist" takes. In turn, he provides more fuel for their anti-Mamdani psychosis.
Mallory McMallow take this shit back to Michel Gondry’s seminal music video for The Chemical Brothers’ “Let Forever Be” this is not the time for whimsical electro-psychedelic depictions of Gen X dissociation amid late-capitalism economic alienation
For years, non-New Yorker friends asking for comedy recommendations were surprised when I'd say "anywhere but the Cellar or The Stand." And I'd have to explain at length the creepy backstage politics and debate pervertry that Club Owners engage in. Luckily, this pretty much says everything.