They should make a Bond / Fast and the Furious crossover starring Tripp Spencer!

They've created an AI Michael Jackson to make a sequel to "Thriller" and molest some additional children.

Good news: They're finally re-releasing "I Love Lucy" with all the original hardcore sex scenes!

And WHY did AnThOnY KiEdiS perform in a high school gymnasium? #AccidentalNeilHamburger

MAJOR CELEB SEX SCANDAL: I was just at the Hot Topic at the mall and I saw Jhonen Vasquez sucking Tim Burton's cock.

How it started: How it's going:

Question: What is the greatest TNG episode, and why is it Sub Rosa?

Calling it out now: the Best Picture Oscar will go to "Gail Daughtry and the Celebrity Sex Pass."

Now listening to: “Pythagoras’ Parrot” by The Spin Doctors

BREAKING: Elon Musk has acquired Erowid.org for $65 billion to study the side effects of mixing ketamine with herbal viagra.

Looks like someone pulled a hadouken on this old Street Fighter 2 machine.

I've achieved INCREDIBLE RESULTS with the new Walton Goggins Hair Loss System -- my hairline has never receded faster! Folks, at only $500/month, this is the deal of a lifetime!

The problem with Gen Z? They don't get my jokes about Kevin Costner drinking his own piss.

Typical scene on public transit in the Bay Area:

Fun fact: Sex was invented by Robert J. Intercourse in 1953.

Now listening to: “Bleeding: Halo 6 Triangle: Falling Remix (Japan import EP version) (Digital remaster)” by Nine Inch Nails

Now listening to: "More Fingers (Than I Can Count on One Hand)" by Eddie Money

“Hey kid, I’m a computer. Stop all the downloadin’!”

Now listening to: “Lightning Cured My Leprosy“ by AC/DC

I found Waldo -- and he was in bed with Carmen Sandiego!

Now listening to: “Holdin’ Her Hair Back” by Sammy Hagar

Now listening to: “Gentrification Boogie-Woogie” by The B-52s

Thought Reddit's human mods were obtuse? Wait until you meet the wrath of their shiny new AI mods!

Now listening to: "Timeshare Condo Presentation" by The Beach Boys

Now listening to: "Daddy I Don't Wanna Be A Star" by The Jackson Five

Now listening to: "Escalator to the Nordstrom on Mars" by David Bowie

Now listening to: “What’s the Impedance Ratio, Dennis?” by R.E.M.

Please tell me you look like this:

Now listening to: "I Farted On A Candle Again" by Elton John