Tom Crowley

@atomcrowley

Writer, actor, comedian. Listen to my award-winning sketch comedy show Crowley Time: crowleytime.com

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Tom Crowley@atomcrowley· 28d

Crowley Time Live: Link’s Gambit… And More! 🎭 The Old Red Lion, Islington. ⏰ Tonight, 7:30pm. 💃🕺 With Beth Eyre, Tom Neenan and Odinn Orn Hilmarsson! live.crowleyme.com

Tom Crowley@atomcrowley· Jul 7

I made a gif.

Tom Crowley@atomcrowley· Jul 7

In just one week, on Tues 14th July, we're bringing Crowley Time Live: Link's Gambit to the Old Red Lion Theatre in Angel for one last London performance! Plus support from Tom N and Odinn! Tix: live.crowleytime.com @tpneenan.bsky.social @betheyre.bsky.social @odinnoh.bsky.social

Tom Crowley@atomcrowley· Jul 4

me homar. yes. get boy. oh!!! (annoyed grunt)

An advert for a canned margarita drink that reads ‘you, me, marg?’

Tom Crowley@atomcrowley· Jul 2

Bro

Tom Crowley@atomcrowley· Jul 2

It’s only the title theme for a visual novel for the Sega CD, you don’t have to go too hard (MAN PLAYING PIANO ON FIRE MEME)

Tom Crowley@atomcrowley· Jul 1

I’m trying to think of a work of art that’s better than this and I can’t, I can’t do it.

Tom Crowley@atomcrowley· Jun 30

Hello! Hang on, is that @davidkbarnes.com and me? What? What are those two up to? Find out soon!

Tom Crowley and David K Barnes in a place for a reason.

Tom Crowley@atomcrowley· Jun 29

Well that’s the last time I play the tart for you, Jerry. RIP to a truly great one. 💔

Penelope Keith as Margo Leadbetter in The Good Life.

Tom Crowley@atomcrowley· Jun 26

Thanks to all the Crowleypals who joined me for spiced rum, hog bits and fun facts at the Mastchris Party livestream last night! It was warm. If you want to join the next one, whenever it may be, make sure to sign up to the Crowley Time Patreon! patreon.com/crowleytime

Tom Crowley@atomcrowley· Jun 25

And the exclusive Patreon bonus this month is the first ever recorded Mastchris greeting! Discovered in the Sidcup bible in 1998 by a man piss drunk on Carling Black Label. Here's a preview! Unlock the whole image at patreon.com/crowleytime

Medieval illustration on the reverse face of a bible page, depicting a hare with a knife saying 'lord guide mye blaed'.

Tom Crowley@atomcrowley· Jun 25

It's here! Jolly Mastchris! And if you're reading this, it means you survived Captain Mast Chris's deadly midnight raid. Hooray! Why not celebrate by listening to this year's Crowley Time Mastchris Special, on your podcast app and at crowleytime.com now!

Black and white ink cover illustration for the 2026 Crowley Time Mastchris Special, entitled A Ghost Story for Mastchris. A shadowy figure on a palm beach is pictured.

Tom Crowley@atomcrowley· Jun 24

We should have listened.

Tom Crowley@atomcrowley· Jun 21

Me to Kier Starmer:

Tom Crowley@atomcrowley· Jun 17

My next Happier Scriptwriting course begins on Monday evening (UK time)! Want to make your writing easier, more fun and more effective in six weekly lessons? Without leaving the comfort of your office chair? Then this is the course for you! crowleytom.com/teaching

A testimonial advert that reads: "I highly recommend investing in yourself as a writer (no matter what stage of your journey you are at) and booking onto the Happier Scriptwriting course!" - Sarah-Luna, course graduate.

Tom Crowley@atomcrowley· Jun 16

7pm, Tue 14th July at the Old Red Lion Theatre! I'm celebrating winning a Golden Lobe with one last Link's Gambit guest starring Tom Neenan and Beth Eyre, plus support from Tom N and Odinn Orn Hilmarsson! Tickets: live.crowleytime.com @tpneenan.bsky.social @betheyre.bsky.social @odinnoh.bsky.social

Tom Crowley@atomcrowley· Jun 8

It’s official! Thanks to Mikey from @cheerfulearful.bsky.social for meeting up to hand this over.

Me, Tom Crowley, outside the Gail’s in St Pancras Station, holding the 2026 Golden Lobes Award for Funniest Podcast of the Year.

Tom Crowley@atomcrowley· Jun 7

andrewblair.co.uk/apps/who-tit...

A title card for K-9 and Company which reads ‘Suck My Copper Dog Dick’.

Tom Crowley@atomcrowley· Jun 1

From Crowley Time Episode 8. 🔫 🍸 🎹

Tom Crowley@atomcrowley· May 30

Gee, I heard that the cool cats over at the Crowley Time Patreon just got all the details of the 2026 livestreamed Mastchris Party, coming in June! Maybe you could join them and find out what it's all about? patreon.com/crowleytime

YouTube title card for the 2026 Commentary Time Mastchris Party, featuring an image of me, Tom Crowley, screaming and wearing pink pixellated 'deal with it' shades.

Tom Crowley@atomcrowley· May 29

The super-cheapo £15 taster session for my Happier Scriptwriting course is TOMORROW (Sat 30th May)! Live on Zoom. If you want to get some inspiration, have a new idea and get some writing done all in 2 hours, sign up! crowleytom.com/teaching

E-flyer for the Happier Scriptwriting Taster, only £15, tomorrow at 3pm (BST), crowleytom.com/teaching

Tom Crowley@atomcrowley· May 25

🤣 Pretending to be on the phone and saying all my li’l guy’s favourite words to get his reaction!! 🐾

Tom Crowley@atomcrowley· May 25

Last call! I’m going to this workshop at the New Actors Centre at the Marylebone Theatre tomorrow, 2pm, Tues 26th May. Learning Ayckbourn from Skilbeck is an opportunity not to be missed! www.newactorscentre.org/products/the...

Banner for Alison Skilbeck’s workshop entitled The Real Ayckbourn.

Tom Crowley@atomcrowley· May 25

Lifeforce (1985). Anyone who went to see this based on its publicity and claimed it didn’t deliver what it promised is a liar. Some of the most excessive practical effects I’ve ever seen, Dominick Hyde is an SAS tough guy, Frank Finlay is pseudo-Quatermass, Patrick Stewart’s face explodes, 10/10.

Mathilda May as Space Girl, that’s the character’s actual name. She spends almost the entire film entirely naked and in this still she is made out of Patrick Stewart’s face blood.

Tom Crowley@atomcrowley· May 23

Title card for an episode of Next Generation entitled “Everyone’s Dog Shit Star Trek Takes”

Tom Crowley@atomcrowley· May 22

SWATCH: EVERYONE:

The new Swatch/AP line of pocket watches that people have been getting into fistfights over and that.

Marv in the film of Sin City holding up a gun, captioned ‘Worth dying for. Worth killing for. Worth going to Hell for.’

Tom Crowley@atomcrowley· May 19

📝 My Happier Scriptwriting course is back! • 2hr taster session Sat 30th May, only £15! • Next full 6-lesson course starts Mon 22nd June. crowleytom.com/teaching

Tom Crowley@atomcrowley· May 17

Oh wow, these implications sound really… wait, doctor what?

Tom Crowley@atomcrowley· May 15

🧔🏼‍♂️ TOM’S TOP TUNES 🎷 A second, separate recommendations thread for songs that I think are good and nice to listen to. I am christening this thread with this image of Bolaji Badejo, the man who played the alien in Alien, listening to records.

Bolaji Badejo, famous very tall man, crouched in a flat next to a record player and some vinyl albums.

Tom Crowley@atomcrowley· May 12

Caught On A Train (1980), brilliant early TV outing for Poliakoff centred around an absolutely mesmerising Peggy Ashcroft and Michael Kitchen. Two opposite train passengers clash on a journey through Europe. On iPlayer, freshly restored and looking stunning: www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/epis...