CB 🏴‍☠️

@bivenssa

he/him a good lad who means well knows three tricks & makes the rest up my life coach resigned after several losing seasons (bluesky goons) 🏈Raiders 🏒Golden Knights ⚾️Dodgers🏆 Signal: bivenssa.24

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Bluesky

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CB 🏴‍☠️@bivenssa· 5d

how come they called it alcohol instead of “brain lidocaine” and i have proof

a screenshot of a DuckDuckGo search where i searched for “brain lidocaine” to see if someone else came up with it. it says “no results found for it” and maybe i came up with it first?? anyways if you’re attractive and female-ish plz DM me

CB 🏴‍☠️@bivenssa· 6d

these are Christmastime cinnamon-scented pine cones. i took this picture at the grocery store today, August 15th, 2026

two bags of the Christmas cinnamon-scented pine cones resting on a red Christmas-themed box. i took the picture today, August 15th, 2026. this illegal occupation of August must not stand

CB 🏴‍☠️@bivenssa· 9d

here’s the worst Marge

a picture of renowned former cheap racist owner of the Cincinnati Reds, Marge Schott, signing a baseball she probably made some poor kid pay for

CB 🏴‍☠️@bivenssa· 13d

additional pausas de hidratación were needed

a can of Unidos Salted Mexican-Style Lager with Lime

a can of Tarantula Brewing High and Rising Extra Pale Ale

CB 🏴‍☠️@bivenssa· 13d

pausa de hidratación

a can of Beachwood Dusty Trails pale ale in my kitchen. it’s decent if you like pale
ales, i’m trying to cool down because it’s 108 degrees outside!!

CB 🏴‍☠️@bivenssa· 20d

r/baseball is having a meltdown at the Dodgers trading for Tarik Skubal part 1 of a million

r/baseball is having a meltdown at the Dodgers trading for Tarik Skubal part 2 of a million

r/baseball is having a meltdown at the Dodgers trading for Tarik Skubal part 3 of a million. honestly, if you are visually challenged, just imagine fifty thousand babies crying and you’ve gotten the gist of it. i wouldn’t waste your time trying to actually read it

CB 🏴‍☠️@bivenssa· 24d

🫦

shoes that are top half dress shoes, bottom half crocs

CB 🏴‍☠️@bivenssa· Jul 20

surely these are related

CB 🏴‍☠️@bivenssa· Jul 10

honey, he's just a pitcher on a declining Giants squad, Logan Webb can't hurt you meanwhile, Logan Webb:

a drawing of a primitive Wojak character that i personally think looks a lot like San Francisco Giants pitcher Logan Webb

CB 🏴‍☠️@bivenssa· Jul 5

dinner for this Saturday, a day which is otherwise unremarkable

two prime ribeyes, seasoned with a “steak” seasoning from the local butchery, on a foil-lined pan. these will be reverse-seared in cast-iron but first baked to 105F internal

a boiling pot filled with cut-up redskin potatoes that will eventually be garlic redskin mashed potatoes. if you live in Washington DC these are called “commander potatoes”

jalapeño poppers in my toaster oven, soon to be cooked. if you’ve never had jalapeño poppers your life is poorer for it. they are halved jalapeño peppers, filled with cream cheese, and wrapped in bacon

CB 🏴‍☠️@bivenssa· May 30

happy Eastern Conference Finals everybody, let’s pray for a Game 7

CB 🏴‍☠️@bivenssa· May 27

🦩🦩🦩🦩✅ 🦩🦩🦩🦩✅ 🦩🦩🦩🦩✅

CB 🏴‍☠️@bivenssa· May 27

Torts: “focus on finishing off the Avs, keep your eyes on the prize, don’t let your attention waver” also Torts:

Vegas Golden Knights coach John Tortorella appears to be ogling a woman wearing a rather low-cut shirt sitting in the stands behind him. she has every right to wear what she is wearing, it’s a silly coincidence that he’s looking that way, we’re all having fun here okay

CB 🏴‍☠️@bivenssa· May 15

🦩🦩🦩🦩✅ 🦩🦩🦩🦩✅

a parody mockup of a game of NES’s Duck Hunt where the Vegas Golden Knights’s mascot, Chance, is shooting at the pixelated ducks. the dog is lifting up a presumably dead duck as a trophy. i hate the Anaheim Ducks and now they’re gone and you should hate them and be happy too and if not then what the fuck!!!!

CB 🏴‍☠️@bivenssa· May 13

good news: my fridge holds at least 56 cans of Alani

fifty-six cans of Alani energy drink in a 7x8 can configuration, featuring seven different flavors. i’m not a caffeine addict, i don’t have a problem, you’re the one with the problem if you don’t back off right now

CB 🏴‍☠️@bivenssa· May 4

rolling into the Met Gala

Cats from Zero Wing saying “how are you gentlemen!!” this is an old meme from a previous era, refer to All Your Base are Belong To Us

CB 🏴‍☠️@bivenssa· Apr 24

just win baby!

CB 🏴‍☠️@bivenssa· Apr 19

celebrating the spaüs’s birthday with a mostly homemade dinner. the potatoes were pre-made, everything else was me. reverse-sear ribeye, smothered green beans, twice-baked potatoes.