David August ❌👑

@davidaugust

Actor. Writer. May have been in that thing you saw that one time (Dependent's Day, Jimmy Kimmel Live, Second City/Chicago Shakespeare). @davidaugust@mastodon.online

2,944 Following5,157 Followers8,337 Posts

YouTube YouTube YouTube Website Bluesky

film writing

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David August ❌👑@davidaugust· 29d

#USpol #elections

screenshot of a post by erika_lucas07:

Let me see if I'm understanding their theory correctly...

• When Donald won in 2016, Obama was in office, ran the intelligence agencies, and the election was secure.

• When Donald won in 2024, Biden was in office, ran the intelligence agencies, and the election was secure.

• When Donald lost in 2020 and now heading into the midterms, with Donald running the intelligence agencies, he says the election was stolen or can't be trusted.

Did I get that right? [2 melting face emojis]

David August ❌👑@davidaugust· Jul 10

#USpol #HealthyEating #food #health #cyclospora

David August ❌👑@davidaugust· Jul 8

Really potus? Ya might wanna check a topographical map there, sport. #USpol #Iran #KhargIsland

Still frame of Anakin and Obi-Wan’s climactic duel at the end of Revenge of the Sith, Obi-Wan is labeled “Iran” and Anakin is labeled “USMC deploying without Congressional authorization to Kharg Island” and the line from the moment in the movie is written above: “It’s over…I have the high ground.”

David August ❌👑@davidaugust· Jul 8

Awesome meme. Cleaned it up for future use:

Sometimes I use words I don't understand so l can sound more photosynthesis.

[over a classical painting: An Old Scholar c. 1645; Amsterdam (then Dutch Republic), Netherlands by Salomon Koninck]

David August ❌👑@davidaugust· Jul 8

😃😳🤦‍♂️ #USpol

screenshot of a post by MyPetJawa @mypetjawa:

[Replying to @3YearLetterman @WaffleHouse @ MillerLite]

"Belgium is two, maybe three months away from developing a nuclear weapon."

[President trump speaking at the White House flanked by just dance vance, marco “polo” rubio, and pete kegsbreath]

Jul 6, 2026 • 2:29 PM UTC

David August ❌👑@davidaugust· Jul 3

Yet, still not even a full light-day away (it is 94% of the distance light travels in a day away).

screenshot of a post by Lazarou Monkey Terror @Lazarou@mastodon.social:

Today, the Voyager 1 spacecraft is 25.50 billion kilometres away from your bullshit.

Jul 3, 2026 at 4:23PM

David August ❌👑@davidaugust· Jun 24

Not new, but still relevant.

Screenshot of a post by Joyce Carol Oates @JoyceCarolOates:

8 Nov 2025

So curious that such a wealthy man never posts anything that indicates that he enjoys or is even aware of what virtually everyone appreciates— scenes from nature, pet dog or cat, praise for a movie, music, a book (but doubt that he reads); pride in a friend’s or relative’s accomplishment; condolences for someone who has died; pleasure in sports, acclaim for a favorite team; references to history. In fact he seems totally uneducated , uncultured. The poorest persons on Twitter may have access to more beauty & meaning in life than the “most wealthy person in the world.”

David August ❌👑@davidaugust· Jun 23

Looking at @geraldbrom.bsky.social's awesome artworks: www.bromart.com/page-1 #art

painting of a woman who is stunningly haunted, by Brom and titled Laurie Lee (2016)

David August ❌👑@davidaugust· Jun 23

😆 #USpol #Pride #funny

David August ❌👑@davidaugust· Jun 20

“I love the smell of hydrogen peroxide in the morning. You know, one time we had a pool peroxided for 12 hours. We didn't find one of 'em, not one stinkin' cell of algae. The smell - you know that peroxide smell - the whole hill smelled like...victory. Someday this reflecting pool is gonna be blue.”

A still from the film Apocalypse Now showing a shirtless U.S. Army officer wearing a black cavalry hat and dog tags crouching between two armed soldiers on a smoke-filled battlefield. Fires burn in the background near a river, with additional troops visible in the distance.

David August ❌👑@davidaugust· Jun 17

via @laurenunderwood.bsky.social #USpol

screenshot of a post by Lauren Underwood
@laurenaunderwood:

Republicans didn't cut "government waste."
They cut your health care.
They cut your social security.
They cut your retirement.
They cut your SNAP.
AND they raised your taxes.
They're just hoping you don't notice.

David August ❌👑@davidaugust· Jun 14

Ukraine has used balloon to launch strike drone using very little battery, evading russian air defenses & placing the drone 8km (~27067 ft) up and 42km (~25 miles) down range before powering up its own propulsion. source: xcancel.com/visionergeo/... #Ukraine #drone #balloon #war #KettleTechLabs

David August ❌👑@davidaugust· Jun 13

🤖🐈

screenshot of a post by Fesshole @fesshole@mastodon.social:

Office has a censor filter in internal comms to replace swear words with other terms. Added a rule changing "Al" to "my cat", so we get "According to my cat..." and "I asked my cat and it said..."

Jun 12, 2026 at 1:20 PM

David August ❌👑@davidaugust· Jun 10

He’s not just wrong, he is willfully and obviously wrong. Or lying. Iran does not have a missile capability to strike Paris nor London. From missilethreat.csis.org/country/iran/ #USpol #Iran #SenatorKennedy #missiles #falsehoods #lies

An infographic titled "Iran's Ballistic and Cruise Missiles" showing a map of Iran with missile range circles (300km, 500km, 800km, 1,300km, 2,000km, 2,500km) and illustrations of various Iranian missiles with their names and ranges. The text describes Iran's missile arsenal and capabilities. Notably this graphic shows that Iran does not field a weapons system capable of striking Metropolitan France nor the UK.

David August ❌👑@davidaugust· Jun 10

#USpol #LosAngeles

screenshot of a post by Tony Camilli
@tony_camilli@threads.net:

So let me get this straight. Democrats have invented an untraceable, undetectable method for rigging elections and rather than using that to win the presidency, they used it to win a mayoral race in a famously blue city in a famously blue state that pitted a seasoned politician against a widely-disliked reality TV personality with no discernible skills or redeeming qualities.

Diabolical is right.

Jun 8, 2026 at 5:31PM .

David August ❌👑@davidaugust· Jun 9

Anguish #sadness #pain #loss #anguish #art #ai

A man’s face twists upward, wailing toward the heavens in a crimson glow, alone, in agony.

David August ❌👑@davidaugust· Jun 6

#USpol

screenshot of a post by coffee_revelations_ 5/28/26

The White House is a trap house. The resident has 3 baby mamas, 34 felonies, gets shot at all the time, and there are now fights on the front lawn.

[photo of the ufc octagon stadium under construction outside the White House]

David August ❌👑@davidaugust· Jun 1

Don’t feed to the dinosaurs, in case they escape. 🦖🦕 #JurassicPark #dinosaurs

David August ❌👑@davidaugust· May 31

😝

screenshot of a post by camimc77:

I don't think a ballroom is safe for security anyway.

Anyone could waltz in there.

David August ❌👑@davidaugust· May 25

I beg your very finest pardon?! 😳 #soviets #communism #antifa #fascist #antifascist #WWII #WW2

screenshot of a three post conversation starting with a post by Ahhhhh @nerdjpg.com:

Guys we need communism

[reply by Love for All @stoporangefascism.bsky.social]:

My grandfather fought against the Soviets in
WW2. No. Full stop.

[reply by -mox @moxiest.art]:

so... sorry, just one quick follow-up...

David August ❌👑@davidaugust· May 24

What the actual f is going on? Why does Colbert's Only in Monroe come up as a creation partly of his canceled show @colbertlateshow.bsky.social?! What is happening?!!! #Colbert #OnlyInMonroe

screenshot of the YouTube video of Colbert's community access show in Monroe Michigan as a collaboration between Stephen Colbert, Monroe Community Media and, inexplicably, The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.

David August ❌👑@davidaugust· May 24

🤔 #USpol #satire

An RSVP card with Trump's handwritten signature, response options for "Accepts," "Regrets," or Will be at false flag" (which is marked), a line for the number of guests attending, and a section for dietary restrictions. The text includes "Please respond by May 5th" and a QR code for online reply to Bettinna Anderson and Donald Trump Jr. The card is decorated with floral illustrations.

David August ❌👑@davidaugust· May 18

Memorial Day sale features $13 Tees and up to 40% off everything else in my @threadless.bsky.social shop. Starts today and runs through May 26 at 5 PM CT. Get stuff here: davidaugust.threadless.com/designs/kill... This is a new design I released today:

Promotional image for a Memorial Day sale.

Text at the top reads "Memorial Day sale features $13 Tees and up to 40% off everything else".

Featuring a light blue t-shirt, a yellow baseball cap, and a white mug, all with the text "I would kill them with kindness, but all I have are incendiary rounds" and a diagram of an incendiary bullet.

The website address "davidaugust.threadless.com" is displayed at the bottom.

David August ❌👑@davidaugust· May 16

SAG-AFTRA #actors: voting is now open for the @sagaftra.org TV/Theatrical Contracts Agreement: I voted yes. Vote here: vote.ivsballot.com/tvtheatrical... There is a link there to retrieve your voting PIN in case it hasn't gotten to you already. #SAGAFTRA #UnionStrong #voting #contract #vote