Doug

@dougstern

87% potato. Proud Angeleno.

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Doug@dougstern· 5d

Sure, leopards eating faces and all that - but why are they posed like dude is pregnant?

Trump voter upset by Trump doing what he promised is posed with his wife who has her hand positioned in a way that usually connotes - there's a baby in HERE.

Doug@dougstern· 7d

Crown Roast of Frankfurters — Let your special occasion guests know just how much you care! Holidays will be more festive when you wow them with this sumptuous pile-o-yummy on a platter.

Doug@dougstern· 29d

The name of this fucking company is 'Hugging Faces'?!?! Like the Facehugger creatures in the Alien movies who inject a xenomorph egg down your throat and use your human body as a host until the newborn creature kills you by emerging through your chest? Palantir-level of naming your evil company.

A facehugger alien wrapped around the head of a human victim.

Doug@dougstern· Jul 21

Poster for the film 'The Fish that Saved Pittsburgh'

Doug@dougstern· Jul 16

I hate this AI bullshit. Report the rumor but why the faked photo? It’s like texting your friend “I’m outside your apartment” when you haven’t even left your own place. #FulhamFC #FFC #Fulham

Doug@dougstern· Jul 7

Hey, Soccer 'Merikuns - a reminder that any Brit who wants to lecture you on how uniquely corrupt the Balogun decision was, they have to first give you a ten minute presentation on how England jacked with the 1966 WC scheduling and ref assignments. Its the law. www.theguardian.com/football/blo...

Doug@dougstern· Jul 5

I thought we were laughing at the wackadoodle 'Mexican' namerd offerings that are probably just barelye seasoned sandwiches.

Doug@dougstern· Jun 30

Vlad's birthday wishlist just dropped and Donny wants to be sure he has time to wrap it.

Doug@dougstern· Jun 16

Doug@dougstern· Jun 11

South African right back out here looking like every LAUSD assistant principal.

Doug@dougstern· Jun 9

Doug@dougstern· May 24

Maybe I’m missing something but if FFC had won last week at wolves we’d have 2 more points and thus in front of Sunderland on GD and that would’ve meant Europa League. Everything fell our way the last few weeks except our performance.

Middle section of the final 2025/26 PL table.

Doug@dougstern· May 24

Fulham did it! Our performance fell off *less* in the games after the March international break this spring than in any previous PL season under MSilva. Yipee! Don't get me wrong, FFC still did worse at the end of the season; just "less worse" than in previous years.

Fulham PPG before and after March International Break
Under Marco Silva in PL

Fulham 2022-23 - finished 10th place / 52 pts
27 games 8th place / 39 pts / 1.44 PPG
11 games 13 pts / 1.18 PPG
Difference before/after last International break: -0.26 ppg
if FFC had maintained 1.44 ppg perf over 38 games: 10th place 54/55pts

Fulham 2023-24 - finished 13th place / 47 pts
29 games 12th place / 38 pts / 1.31 PPG
9 games 9 pts / 1.0 PPG
Difference before/after last International break: -0.31 ppg
if FFC had maintained 1.31 ppg perf over 38 games: 10th place 49/50pts

Fulham 2024-25 - finished 11th place / 54 pts
29 games 8th place / 45 pts / 1.55 PPG
9 games 9 pts / 1.0 PPG
Difference before/after last International break: -0.55 ppg
if FFC had maintained 1.55 ppg perf over 38 games: 9th place 58/59pts

Fulham 2025-26 - finished 11th place / 52 pts
31 games 9th place / 44 pts / 1.42 PPG
7 games 8 pt / 1.14 PPG
Difference before/after last International break: -0.28 p p g
if FFC had maintained 1.42 ppg perf over 38 games: 7th place 54pts

Doug@dougstern· May 24

Final Fulham game at the pub.

Doug@dougstern· May 22

Love that Bezos is morphing into Evil Chef Jose Andres.

Doug@dougstern· May 17

How is that Fulham points per game fall off after the final International break looking? Poor. Very f&^ing poor. Every year under Marco, our PPG has fallen off *more* than in the previous season. We could *maybe* arrest that slide next week, but how confident are you? #FulhamFC #FFC

Doug@dougstern· May 9

After a loss at the Cottage, the European ship is sailing away over the horizon while Fulham sits on the dock with our luggage (except for Andersen who is busy kicking everyone's suitcases into the bay). #FulhamFC Worst news, this is now our largest PPG drop-off post March in the PL. sigh.

Doug@dougstern· May 9

Fulham at the Cottage against BOU. A start for Muniz and Cairney. Raul, Berge on the bench - possibly ill? Tete and Kevin healthy enough to be a sub, at least. #FulhamFC #FFC #Fulham

FFC hopsting BOU
Leno, Castagne, Basseym, Anderson, Robinson, Lukic, Cairney, Wilson, ESR, Chukwueze, Muniz.

Doug@dougstern· May 7

Murphy was already scoping out future ideas.

Doug@dougstern· May 6

After last weekend's #FulhamFC loss at the Emirates we are back to our relegation level 1.0 point per game pace after the season's final international break. I agree with the recent @fulhamish.bsky.social piece suggesting that only 3 wins from FFC's final 3 games will get us to the Conf League.

Doug@dougstern· May 2

Fulham lineup at Arsenal. No Berge or Sess today. Reed & Jedi get starts. Feels like the #FulhamFC injuries are starting to pile up again. JKA, Diop and Cuenca all make the bench.

Doug@dougstern· Apr 29

Doug@dougstern· Apr 28

Manuel Neuer seems to be more cooked than a steak at Mar A Lago. 0% save percentage while facing 5 shots on goal. -2.4 on goals prevented in a single game must be some kind of UCL record.

Neuer's very bad stats from the 4-5 loss to PSG

Doug@dougstern· Apr 25

Fulham beat Villa and our ppg is now declining *less* after the final international break than in any other Silva/PL season. That said we'll prob need to improve on our ppg from first 2/3 of the season if we wanna get a European spot. #SilvaSpringSwoon #FulhamFC #FFC

Doug@dougstern· Apr 25

Trying a different Fulham mug for our second straight 4:30am (in Los Angeles) kickoff. Here’s hoping this week is slightly less grim.

Doug@dougstern· Apr 18

How steep is the fall-off for Fulham after the season's final international break? Our points per game has declined post-March every season in the PL and the decline has been larger each spring than the year before. #SilvaSpringSwoon #FulhamFC #FFC

Fulham PPG before and after last International Break
Under Marco Silva in PL

Fulham 2022-23 - finished 10th place / 52 pts
27 games 8th place / 39 pts / 1.44 PPG
11 games 13 pts / 1.18 PPG
Difference before/after last International break: -0.26 ppg

Fulham 2023-24 - finished 13th place / 47 pts
29 games 12th place / 38 pts / 1.31 PPG
9 games 9 pts / 1.0 PPG
Difference before/after last International break: -0.31 ppg

Fulham 2024-25 - finished 11th place / 54 pts
29 games 8th place / 45 pts / 1.55 PPG
9 games 9 pts / 1.0 PPG
Difference before/after last International break: -0.55 ppg

Fulham 2025-26 -
31 games 9th place / 44 pts / 1.42 PPG
7 games to play after break
so far : 2 games 1 pt / 0.5 PPG
Difference before/after last International break: -0.92 ppg
As of 18 April - 33 games played

Doug@dougstern· Apr 18

I’m counting on my Joe Bryan mug to provide some assistance in the second half against the BusStoppers.

Mug depicting Joe Bryan’s free kick goal for Fulham against Brentford at Wembley in 2020.

Doug@dougstern· Apr 16

So no luxury motorhomes?

SCOTUS Justice Clarence 'Big Rig' Thomas with his $200+ motorhome gifted to him by someone very wealthy who is just a friend and definitely NOT looking to influence the outcome of a case before the court.

Doug@dougstern· Apr 11

Fulham lineup for Anfield. No Tete. Raul and ESR on the bench. Joa and Calvin at CBs. #FulhamFC #FFC

Doug@dougstern· Apr 8