Johnny Nice Painter @ Eurosky!
@johnnynicepainter
Black. Black. Black! Like the clouds of death that follow me into the Forest of Doom! And hide in the wardrobe of darkness! Black!
Fucking nouvelle cuisine. Load of old easy bollocks more like. Couple of Danish biccies, two squares of Lindt milk choccy, some raspberries out of off of the back garden. Fuck off Blumenthal.
YOU WILL HAVE THE FUCKING BRASS BAND OF THE FUCKING ROYAL ENGINEERS PLAYING THE FUCKING FLORAL DANCE FOR ***PRECISELY*** 6 FUCKING MINUTES AND YOU WILL FUCKING LIKE IT. #WorldCupHalfTimeShow
Our native English wildflower patches are loving the heat at least. Here we see Jack-by-the-Brothel, Old Man's Trousers, Common Bollockweed, Rat Scabies, Purple Horse Cock, and Splot.
Cheesy beans on toast! Make that with a good sourdough, add a dash of Henderson's Relish to the beans and a good quality extra mature cheddar and I'd happily eat either. Now if we called ours Haricots Pain Grillé Fromage they'd be queueing around the block.
Have they ever been seen together in the same room I DON'T THINK THEY HAVE PROVE ME WRONG
Just bought 4 cans of this -- because I should not be left alone with any form of payment method in a shop that sells alcohol -- and I swear to god it's Irn Bru with a shot of vodka.
Johnny's money saving tips #1. Unplug unused children from the electrical outlet.
Just looked at the Trending thing for "Wonderwall" and saw an almost unanimous vilification of said popular beat anthem. This whole situation can be remedied by instead adopting the Fall classic Hit the North at the end of England matches. Preferably with everyone wearing Frank Sidebottom heads.
Destroyed. That's what 14 miles in two days does to a soft Romanian dog. I am willing to bet money that she has never been more tired or happier. (For anyone concerned, these miles were in shady Scottish forests with plenty of dips in the cool burns)
Quantum entanglement is a phenomenon where particles become linked and instantly affect each other's states, no matter the distance between them. Which I feel somehow goes some way to explaining the relationship between the ball, and that little bit where they put the ball, when taking a corner.
It is clear that the Scots are LYING to us to keep the country free of the ENGLISH. There is WARMTH. There is SUNSHINE. There are NO MIDGES. There are BABBLING GLENS and whatever the fuck a MUNRO is (possibly an amphibian of some type) and brown drink that makes you SLEEPY.
Spied a small house on Loch Ard on our walk today. Might buy it. It's not actually for sale, but I am sure the current owners will capitulate when faced with a crisp 5 pound note, a large Romanian rescue dog, and my wife.
Today we have mostly been walking through the Argyll forest around Loch Ard. It was a fabulous day, the heat offset by the shady pines and the cool water of the loch.
The high road, babbling burns and bracket fungus. Argyll Forest path. Near Ardgarten.
Been marshalling at a 10k fell run today. Decided to take the rescue dogs for some socialisation with the runners and other marshalls etc. Here you can see they are fully engaged and revelling in the atmosph.... ah.
Too easy. Share someone who looks stylish wearing animal print
Look at my chart, bitches. Yeah that's right. You like it like that, don't you.
My dog is suggesting that you all want me to give her the last pepperoni slice. Is this true? #DogsOfBluesky