mathew olson

@mathewolson

blogging at virtualvector.xyz • writer and creative technologist at large • hire me • ITP ‘24 • totally sincere hater • he/him

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mathew olson@mathewolson· 25d

not that todd’s much worse for wear after these layoffs but i do feel like his fallout statement has this exact vibe

simpsons, smithers holding a gun up to the back of a smiling tom jones. in this analogy todd is tom and smithers is asha (who is also being held at gunpoint by satya)

mathew olson@mathewolson· 26d

well my laptop might be dead but i have triumphed over this piece of shit and, by extension, the verizon corporation

me flipping off the SIM card that died yesterday

mathew olson@mathewolson· 27d

not sure what it says about me that my friend saw this cybertruck the other day and immediately thought to send me a photo. nothing good i guess

a cybertruck with a full body vinyl wrap for hatzulas volunteer ambulance/ems

mathew olson@mathewolson· 27d

it’s so sick that one of the most successful companies on the planet has a product with such useful error messages and then it RULES that you can go the local store for your service provider and they just look at it and go “hey what if you upgraded”

iphone sim failure message. no other context. yeah, OK i guess

mathew olson@mathewolson· 28d

mathew olson@mathewolson· 28d

in my defense,

texts from a friend
“was it you that sent me a trailer for a sort of indie boomer shooter thing with a lot of hapf life coded map design?”
“I was trying to remember the name”

mathew olson@mathewolson· Jul 11

we got fuckin PLANK on the GDQ couch. good shit

mathew olson@mathewolson· Jul 10

congrats on the new gig @deadblossomjesse.bsky.social i promise i won’t complain when the sponsor deal stop & shop episode of @storesthepodcast.bsky.social airs

it’s DBJ in an ad for stop & shop on a new york subway platform. just look at them

mathew olson@mathewolson· Jul 10

posting this @gooffkings.bsky.social screenshot on bluesky because i think the composition of dudes on screen all at once will drive the people on here who got mad at JF for loving his wife go fucking bonkers

it’s the go off kings stream. also db and the hosts of guys are on. and they’re watching the average day joes.

mathew olson@mathewolson· Jul 6

at the hang with Mitch McConnell. always good to see him. so lively

nathan fielder, smiling, friends just out of frame

mathew olson@mathewolson· Jul 1

the first and last time a steelbook was cool

mathew olson@mathewolson· Jun 30

achewood panels featuring the shirt “i’m the guy who sucks/plus i got depres-sion”

mathew olson@mathewolson· Jun 23

would a man who was wearing THIS shirt when he met danger ehren lie to you??

me trying not to laugh while danger ehren from jackass photobombs this selfie taken in portland

mathew olson@mathewolson· Jun 23

kara, surveying her surroundings after realizing she’s uncritically parroted some dumb bullshit from tech execs for the umpteenth time

pacino in heat, sunglasses on, saying “This crew is good.”

mathew olson@mathewolson· Jun 21

reading about the special effects and animation in I Love Boosters and man if this doesn’t just sum up why I love Riley’s movies (from www.indiewire.com/features/ani...)

"I'm not about stuff having to seem real.
It's just more that I want it to seem unreal in a different way than we're used to,”
Riley said.

mathew olson@mathewolson· Jun 20

honestly? i can think of several local businesses that should have this one

rob schneider "READ" poster for Kafka's Metamorphosis. he's wearing a cockroach costume

mathew olson@mathewolson· Jun 17

okay but what if

a photo of groverhaus made to look like a spooky glitchy teaser poster

mathew olson@mathewolson· Jun 15

realizing i have become the IRL white 30-something guy equivalent of this motherfucker

a pile of some of my baseball caps in regular rotation, at least a dozen here. note also the frames photo of talking heads in the background, further establishing my demographics

the cover for “caps for sale” by esphyr slobodkina. look at all those caps

mathew olson@mathewolson· Jun 14

when you can't just say "all he did was 'funny hahas' on a roster absolutely stacked with talent, many of whom can also do comedy"

"AEW felt Danhausen's in-ring work would limit how he could be used (If Danhausen is capable of five-star classics, he has kept this hidden)."

mathew olson@mathewolson· Jun 14

fuck it, enjoy the moment if it uploads on my last 1% while i’m 4 blocks from home or not at all

mathew olson@mathewolson· Jun 11

good night gamers of new york

the “fuck the knicks” newspaper from Mahvel Baby changed to read “fuck the spurs” with subhed “mango sentinel to TX: you’re so pringles”

mathew olson@mathewolson· Jun 11

mathew olson@mathewolson· Jun 8

underrated aspect of the original super mario bros movie: how much the set designers handling bowser’s lair clearly loved these pointy fortress blocks from smb3

screenshot of a world 8 fortress level in smb3. look at those grey pointy blocks, dennis hopper had a shitton of them around his place in the movie

mathew olson@mathewolson· Jun 8

sky over new york is blue and orange 🤔 how convenient

nyc sunset taken from an elevated subway platform in queens. get a load of those clouds

mathew olson@mathewolson· Jun 7

martin prince's hand slamming the joystick toward "tell me more" on the my dinner with andre arcade game

mathew olson@mathewolson· Jun 7

i should get back to doing stupid shit in blender

mathew olson@mathewolson· May 29

that godawful marvel scene but vision’s head appears to be attached to an emoji foot. wanda’s thinkin bout those toes

mathew olson@mathewolson· May 28

most of the marathon codex entries for salvage (not valuables, which all have text or audio logs attached) are very dry technobabble. reflex coil attached for example anyway, i love that the dryness makes this codex entry for the salvage that *only* comes from the compiler stand out so much more

RUNNERS' GUIDE v.1.001.07.tciv
SCAVENGING: REFLEX COIL
===================================================================
OVERVIEW: A casing containing tightly wound synthetic filaments coated with protein-based insulation. Able to conduct neurological impulses at near-instantaneous speeds.
USE[S]: Communications, synthetic neural frameworks, sapient energy production
REMARK: Insulation decays quickly once the outer seal is broken. Careful transport is recommended to ensure full value.

RUNNERS' GUIDE v.1.001.07.tciv
SCAVENGING: COMPILER GANGLION
===================================================================
OVERVIEW: It's only a sliver of data cycling through alien circuitry but it weighs on your soul like the heart of a collapsing star. Every time you hold it there's a hum you can't hear screaming in the back of your memory. It feels old and eternal. It feels like the math of a universe no one has discovered and it feels angry; disappointed in the limited promise of your bio-cybernetic expiration date.
USE[S]: Impossible, eternal
REMARK: How do we go back to everything we were supposed to be once we've beheld even this meager piece of all that can exist?

mathew olson@mathewolson· May 28

fourth doctor middle era title card that reads “oh please not another spooky orientalist one”

mathew olson@mathewolson· May 25

thanks @nikigrayson.com i’ll do dumb chants for the two of us