pez | leggy eggy blond 🦑🐙

@petrichorca

pez or p 🔞🏳️‍🌈🏴‍☠️🌌🌿🍑 white, 40s, she/her ofmd, animorphs, project hail mary, hunger games, & smashing the patriarchy are my passions pfp by taylor sterry, header by @thatjadeykinns socials: Co-captain of @OFMDRareShips

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pez | leggy eggy blond 🦑🐙@petrichorca· 3d

This is a pegdoll I have from /camihallstudio - yes, she does stand beside Swede most days 😍 #SpanishJackie

A pegdoll painted to look like Spanish Jackie from OFMD our flag means death

pez | leggy eggy blond 🦑🐙@petrichorca· 26d

the concept of Jeffrey Fettering/Applejack has had my brain WHIRRING for six hours i cannot write this right now but am manifesting someone to run with this, fic or otherwise because. like. come on. look at them!! LOOK AT THEM 🕯️🧎‍♀️🥺🙏

Dominic Burgess as Jeffrey Fettering in hit TV show Our Flag Means Death aka OFMD, still from ofmdframes

picture of kevin bacon with his shirt undone and looking a slut on his 66th birthday, courtesy of kevin bacon, who is closer to you than you think (this is a six degrees joke... but LOOK BEHIND YOU)

pez | leggy eggy blond 🦑🐙@petrichorca· 27d

Gonna post a silly, flirty gentlebeard fic today, based on my spouse getting flirted with/flirting back with a hot person during a minor family crisis - while he was wearing this. 💗😏

Hot pink muscle tank that reads "biggest slut at the public library" in white letters. This shirt comes from the company Pagewings.

pez | leggy eggy blond 🦑🐙@petrichorca· Jun 1

Mine!

pez | leggy eggy blond 🦑🐙@petrichorca· May 17

A picture of actor comedian Rhys Darby wearing a sky blue blazer with a red pocket square, a pale pink shirt, and green and white striped shorts. He has short hair and a mustache. His right leg is propped up on tne edge of a dock, and that calf muscle is popping sluttily.

pez | leggy eggy blond 🦑🐙@petrichorca· May 5

Idk probably very bad!! @veeagainsttheday.bsky.social and I wrote 42k words of OFMD gentlebeard fic about why this might be bad 😭😐🙃 👉 archiveofourown.org/works/46574443 #TakeTwoTuesday slash hashtag can billionaires please stop fucking up our planet

Screenshot of a post by
Phil Plait

‪@philplait.bsky.social‬

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This may be anti-hot take, but dumping billion of tons of particles into the atmosphere to block the sun is maybe a bad idea, which is why I'm very worried some billionaire will want to do it. Words by me.

https://badastronomy.beehiiv.com/p/dimming-the-sun-is-probably-a-very-bad-idea

🧪

Dimming the sun is probably a very bad idea
Global warming is a massive problem, but let’s not play games with our only planet’s ecosphere
badastronomy.beehiiv.com

pez | leggy eggy blond 🦑🐙@petrichorca· Apr 30

Yeah!!

Graphic showing bluesky navigation bat is blank, missing lists

pez | leggy eggy blond 🦑🐙@petrichorca· Apr 29

The penultimate offering of @veeagainsttheday.bsky.social's and my #ProjectHailMary OFMD rare ship AUs is up! Platonic besties Jeffrey Fettering & Hornberry. Who's gonna be our tenth and last ship?? Any guesses? 👀

Graphic reading: Jeffrey wakes up onboard a spaceship looking at a star that doesn’t belong to him.

He is very much freaking out, thank you very much.

The computer isn’t very helpful in a) sending a message back to Earth (“Estimated time for delivery: 11.9 years”), b) turning the ship around (“Requested course not available”), or c) explaining what or who he is or how he got here besides a name (“Dr. Jeffrey Fettering”).

He calls her a poopy dunderhead, then apologizes. He doesn’t mean that; he’s just stressed. Blossom, as he decides to call her, is his only friend in the universe now. He can’t afford to alienate her. Even if she’s just a computer. A computer with the whole knowledge of Earth and schematics of a ship filled with fuel Jeffrey has never heard of before.

pez | leggy eggy blond 🦑🐙@petrichorca· Apr 27

Dreamed I posted this earlier 😅 @veeagainsttheday.bsky.social and I continue to post OFMD Project Hail Mary AUs with rare ships. This is Buttons as Ryland, Karl as Rocky. Enjoy!! It's more poignant than it ought to be 🤣 archiveofourown.org/works/835542... #OFMDRareShips

Graphic reading:

Nathaniel Buttons didn’t mean to betray her. He simply thought, what if life didn’t always come from the sea? What if life did not rely on two hydrogen atoms and one oxygen atom to unfurl?

He has been repenting this affront to his love, the sea, ever since.

As a middle school science teacher.

The government lass finds him bathing in moonglow in the Muir Woods. He thinks she’s a ghost as she emerges through the fog. She holds up the library copy of his dissertation and he confesses his crimes against his love.

She does not understand. She asks how can the wee demons eating the sun be made of water?

And aye, it is a vexing question indeed.

pez | leggy eggy blond 🦑🐙@petrichorca· Apr 25

For our next #OFMDRareShips Project Hail Mary crossover, @veeagainsttheday.bsky.social and I have just posted another Garlic Soup-flavored AU with focus on Zheng/Jim! 🌌🚀🪨🏴‍☠️🏳️‍🌈 archiveofourown.org/works/835542...

Graphic of text only that reads:

“Blip-A detected. Blip-A decreasing distance. Blip-A detected.”

“I can see it, Auntie!” Zheng never admits to being scared, but she steers the Hail Mary away because literally what the fuck. First contact was not on her job description.

Blip-A follows.

“Blip-A detected,” says Auntie.

“No,” Zheng growls.

She fires her Astrophage-fueled engines again.

Knife Ship follows.

“Come on!!”

Zheng sits in the pilot seat chewing her bottom lip. Auntie gives regular updates on Blip-A; it’s still there, exactly 217 meters away, sparkling in the planetshine of the teal-tinged exoplanet. Zheng thrusts her ship forward, just a bit.

Blip-A matches the exact distance.

pez | leggy eggy blond 🦑🐙@petrichorca· Apr 24

Maddie's is much sweeter than the one I did 😅

A graphic of land forms that reads out the word DICKFUCK

pez | leggy eggy blond 🦑🐙@petrichorca· Apr 23

Did Lucius/Pete tug at your heart strings? Sure did mine!! And now we present OFMD PHM AU with... Jackie/Swede! Teaser below. Read here: archiveofourown.org/works/835542...

The dead dudes were the pilot and engineer. Yeah, Jackie slept with them, they were hot. So what? Now they’re dead. And Jackie’s out here by her lonesome, in another fucking solar system, with no one to steer the ship and no one to talk to.

Except the robot.

Who asked her what 2 plus 2 is.

And who is very stabby with needles.

Jackie is avoiding the reaching mechanical arms, sliding against rounded walls in a sheet-toga, when she stops.

“Wasn’t the robot’s name—”

“Updated software,” the robot interrupts. “I’m Jim now.”

Jackie stares. “Respect,” she says.

pez | leggy eggy blond 🦑🐙@petrichorca· Apr 22

omg happiest of birthdays to the utterly cool and talented @sonorawent.bsky.social!!! so lucky to know you!! can't go outside atm but here is a flower pic from when we were all together last fall <33

pez | leggy eggy blond 🦑🐙@petrichorca· Apr 22

#TakeTwoTuesday for gentlebeard tentacle smut I posted last week. Most explicit thing I've ever posted?? archiveofourown.org/works/83267516 7.7k, read the tags 🐙🥚🦵 Babes @knotwerk.bsky.social and @veeagainsttheday.bsky.social gave me the best, most unhinged beta readings ever 😂 #OFMDNSFW

Graphic reading:

Malacoölogy
petrichorca
Summary:
Ed wakes up being humped by his krakenified boyfriend. Things get heated, and heavy, from there.

Beta reader feedback: “HOLY LIQUID POPPERS TENTACLE BATMAN”

pez | leggy eggy blond 🦑🐙@petrichorca· Apr 21

A little late for New Romance day, but here we are!! 3.5k, Mature, some angst with flowering romance and a happy ending!! And yes I gave Officer Shaw the first name Jenkens ;) Includes Jeffrey! Fettering! Intimate leg touching! Falling in love! 🌸🌺 archiveofourown.org/works/83510681 #OFMDRareShips

Graphic for an Our Flag Means Death OFMD fanfic that reads: The drifter and his anchor by petrichorca
Summary:
The Navy dismissed Officer Jenkens Shaw from service after Stede Bonnet killed his Captain and a pirate shot him in the leg. Many months later, Shaw is roaming Caribbean ports, aimless and friendless… until a man introduces himself as Jeffrey—Jeffrey Fettering.

pez | leggy eggy blond 🦑🐙@petrichorca· Apr 17

OK, OK, there are literally so many stories, art, and podfics I could link. Hopefully this thread made you go "WOW that's a big [night sky], I wish I could see more of it" and also "WOW I didn't know Pez had this other hyperfixation she could interlink with queer pirates." I am a double threat, OK?!

Stede Bonnet saying WOW to a fish that his beloved boyfriend Edward "Blackbeard" Teach is showing him under a moonlight starry sky.

pez | leggy eggy blond 🦑🐙@petrichorca· Apr 17

OK, back to OFMD fanwork that celebrates the night, stars, and other cosmic things. I missed many, I'm sure, so please feel free to add if you like! Eclipse boys from @ferventemily.bsky.social & @anneofavonlea11.bsky.social: archiveofourown.org/series/4177696 !! Art by @deanbird.bsky.social 14/

Stede Bonnet and Edward Teach, kissing under a total solar eclipse. Art by Deanbird

pez | leggy eggy blond 🦑🐙@petrichorca· Apr 17

Real quick interlude for this gorgeous art from @the-widow-olivia.bsky.social's Starman by @merryfinches.bsky.social there should really be more kissing in space istg 7/

art by Merryfinches of astronauts Edward Teach and Stede Bonnet kissing in zero gravity in a spaceship

pez | leggy eggy blond 🦑🐙@petrichorca· Apr 17

A post-season 2 innkeeper era OFMD fic by me, "As We Go Hand in Hand," where Ed spends a lot of time looking at the stars 🌠🌌💫🫶💕 Read here: archiveofourown.org/works/54695398 (explicit, 2.2k) 2/

Screenshot from Archive of our Own, dark Grey background, white text. Text reads as follows:

As We Go Hand in Hand by petrichorca

Summary: While they’ve begun to carve out a fulfilling life on the island together, Ed is having a hard time dealing with the past. He wants to marry Stede, but doesn’t feel like he can even ask.

A character study exploring how Ed processes, learns to sit with himself, and falls more in love every day with Stede.

pez | leggy eggy blond 🦑🐙@petrichorca· Apr 17

OFMD fandom, it’s International Dark Sky Week! I want to share some OFMD fanworks that celebrate the night, skygazing, and stars, along with some #IDSW resources and how to help make our nights better for everyone. Starting with @libroseitm.bsky.social's art for my fic As We Go Hand in Hand 1/

Edward Teach aka Blackbeard from TV's hit show Our Flag Means Death sitting in a red robe with a starry night sky with the ocean in the background. Art by LibRoseITM.

pez | leggy eggy blond 🦑🐙@petrichorca· Apr 15

OK, some more Officer Shaw/Jeffrey Fettering!! #WIPWednesday #OFMDRareShips

A graphic with text only, which reads: His new walking stick helps Jenkens maneuver the clay soil underfoot. “How do you know so much about this island’s flora?” he teases, smiling.

Mr. Fettering gently tugs a flower from the plant. “Oh, I… well.” He sounds wistful, then he looks at Jenkens for a long moment, a look that pins Jenkens in place. “As a child, another boy and I used to pick flowers. I was quite taken with him, you see, and I wanted to impress him.”

“Ah.” Jenkens feels heat under his collar. It’s a rather warm, humid day in the Caribbean. Mr. Fettering’s gaze remains on him. He clears his throat. “And did you? Impress him, that is.”

Mr. Fettering shakes his head. “He scarcely remembered my name the last time we met.”

Jenkens frowns. “You impress me. Who is this man? I should like to have words with—”

“He’s dead,” says Mr. Fettering quickly. He lifts the hand holding the pink flower, then stills midair. Jenkens tips his head. Mr. Fettering comes forward and tucks the flower into an open buttonhole of Jenkens’ coat.

pez | leggy eggy blond 🦑🐙@petrichorca· Apr 12

come play with us :))) fics, podfic, art, head canons, crafts, LEGO, anything you can think of is welcome! our generator can help with ideas! perchance.org/ofmdrareship...

Image shows a screenshot from the Rare Ships Week Prompt Generator. Text reads:

Rare Ships Week Prompt Generator
Click the "More Ships!" button to get prompts. Get inspired and share your results! Don't forget to tag us! 🙂 @OFMDRareShips #OFMDRareShips
(Some results can be NSFW)

Images show Vincent from Our Flag Means Death; a picture of a bare bottom censored with overlaid text reading Bare Butt Guy #1 played by Alex Sherman; and the words "Horse Riding" and "Massage" as generated prompt example.

More Ships!

pez | leggy eggy blond 🦑🐙@petrichorca· Apr 3

Now that #DrabbleWritingFriday is a thing, I bring you something I never expected to write... Stede/Lucius/Pete 200 words, here on post-beta AO3 😏: archiveofourown.org/works/82415251 Generator to play with here: perchance.org/ofmdrareship... #OFMDRareShips

pez | leggy eggy blond 🦑🐙@petrichorca· Mar 18

Beginning of my Officer Shaw/Jeffrey Fettering WIP 😁 I started this last summer, I am committing to finishing it for Rare Ships Week! #WIPWednesday #OFMDRareShips #OFMDfic

Officer Jenkens Shaw was just performing his duty when Lord Peter Gravelston—or, rather, a pirate purporting to be Lord Peter Gravelston—shot him unduly in the leg.
He hadn’t even wanted to be there! But Badminton forced the issue. Something about wanting to catch up with an old chum, who clearly didn’t want the British navy on his ship, particularly Captain Nigel Badminton. It was something that made Shaw suspicious, but not enough to say anything—because, again, he hadn’t wanted to be there. Wellington was being a shit and the young man on Stede Bonnet’s crew looked like he was going to retch.
Not ideal.

But he was willing to stay quiet, so very very quiet—until Wellington received a knife to the hand and someone threw a fish net over Hornberry and Gravelston shot him.
Then he’d screamed.
(A gunshot, in the best of circumstances, hurts.)
(A bullet to the thigh really hurts.)
(Jenkens, an upperclass gentleman, had never been shot before.)
(Ouch.)
(And it ruined his favorite uniform breeches.)
(It was not Jenkens’ best day.)

pez | leggy eggy blond 🦑🐙@petrichorca· Feb 21

We did a thing!! Click through to see the *full* #OFMDdisastercule scene @kharas.bsky.social rendered cheekily in LEGO 💖🍑✋️🥵 archiveofourown.org/works/79841591 #OurBricksMeanDeath

Screenshot from AO3 of OFMD Our Flag Means Death fic with text as follows:

All Hands on Deck by kharas314 and petrichorca
Summary: The #OFMDdisastercule prompt generator said The disastercule are on deck. Jack is getting spanked by Ed and Mary. Anne is tied to the chair, growling “You better not come!” - and that is what we made. Enjoy!

LEGO art by kharas, fic by pez :D

Lego Minifig Mary Read holds up a spoon, with minifig Anne Bonny looking on from the foreground. Mary looks like she is about to spank a minifig off screen, which she is

pez | leggy eggy blond 🦑🐙@petrichorca· Feb 10

#TakeTwoTuesday for a fic near and dear to my heart - a post season 2 Ed character study. @libroseitm.bsky.social just made me a an absolutely gorgeous art comm to go with it; this is just a snippet - check out the full piece!! 🌠🌌💫🫶💕 Read here: archiveofourown.org/works/54695398 (explicit, 2.2k)

A cropped snippet of a larger image, with Ed in a red robe against a starry sky. Art by LibRoseITM.

pez | leggy eggy blond 🦑🐙@petrichorca· Jan 24

Face reveal. Wrong answers only.

Rhys Darby as Louise Cooper in Short Poppies; a white woman with wavy copper blonde hair wearing a floral sundress

pez | leggy eggy blond 🦑🐙@petrichorca· Jan 21

Don't have a WIP for this Wednesday, but I do have a fic! Written for #OFMDRoachWeek, a 1k T-rated Roach character study with Roach/Fang sweetness. Story vibes: 🔪🥜🍊🥪🥰 Read here: archiveofourown.org/works/78049726 thanks to @dracothelizard.bsky.social for running this event! And yay AO3 is back!

Screenshot from Archive of Our Own, dark grey background with white text. Text reads:

Something New by petrichorca

Summary:
Roach doesn’t fall asleep easily after sex. His mind whirs. It flashes between thoughts like light glints off his cooking knives. It bubbles like sourdough starter testing the boundaries of its container.

Kevin knows this. Because Roach told him. He let him in. Because they were shipmates first, then friends, then best friends.

And now, well.

pez | leggy eggy blond 🦑🐙@petrichorca· Jan 15

Do you like Ed and Stede? Do you like cats? Have I got the fic for you!! Plus @kninjaknitter.bsky.social just made a podfic: archiveofourown.org/works/77693636 🎧 Read here: archiveofourown.org/works/77632781 A gift for @wardrobespierre.bsky.social & betaed by @veeagainsttheday.bsky.social 💖🐱🐈‍⬛🫶😻

Screenshot from archive of our own website, dark grey background and white text that reads:

Feeling the beat of my heart, yeah, yeah by petrichorca
Summary:
An unexpected cat rescue interrupts Ed and Stede’s third date.

Notes:
For wardrobespierre.
Title from “Cool Cat” by Queen.

Mems, I really loved writing this for you!!

pez | leggy eggy blond 🦑🐙@petrichorca· Jan 14

Just thinking about my (our) wife today