Super Large Excellent Cremulator

@spandex

Opt-in Hate Mob branespeaks / spandex / wevz formerly "Chessington World of Piss (KC)"

843 Following283 Followers445 Posts

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Super Large Excellent Cremulator@spandex· 7d

somehow i knew i'd need to screenshot this :) he's blocked me, presumably in an effort to save himself from another myocardial infarction

Rafael Behr's post, re: the neo-nazi guy Badenoch is wanging on about:

"The opposite position would be more rational. If she really thinks this guy's credentials are as exemplar of rehabilitation and can teach anti-extremism she should want him to have biggest platform. "It's ok because he'd only be on potholes and bins" suggests less confidence in his conversion."

my reply:

"the fact his website at the time was explicitly neo-nazi, devoted to attacking the left, non-whites, immigrants etc does rather suggests that his recent repainting of it as "i fell in with the left and became antisemitic but i'm over it" is a lie, yes. you credulous chump tinyurl.com/59pkahh9"

Super Large Excellent Cremulator@spandex· 8d

truly a cursed isle

Super Large Excellent Cremulator@spandex· 9d

Got some free pants lads. Bit flimsy

Super Large Excellent Cremulator@spandex· 9d

Modified a Dorian Lynskey post, about Rod Liddle, which used to say:

"I think this confuses the private person, who can be mourned by friends, family and colleagues, and the public figure, whose legacy can be assessed based on his work. These are two different things and they have to coexist"

and my version says

"I think this confuses the private cunt, who can be mourned by ppl who were fine with that, and the public cunt, whose legacy can be assessed based on his work. These are literally the same cunt"

Super Large Excellent Cremulator@spandex· 21d

I am the proud owner and occasional wearer of these hats. Text is embroidered - top quality stuff.

A dark blue baseball cap with the word “PISS” embroidered on the front in yellow

A very dark blue 90s bucket hat with a light blue rim and the word “bollock” embroidered on the front

Super Large Excellent Cremulator@spandex· Jul 4

What’s the matter babe? You’ve barely touched your signature animal fancy

Section of a takeaway menu featuring something called “Signature Animal Fancy”

Super Large Excellent Cremulator@spandex· Jul 2

wearily scheduling a post for 18 months time, asking "this you?"

Thread from Dunt saying:

That Burnham speech was fucking brilliant.
Crammed with big ideas, era-defining structural changes to the way the country is run. Hugely ambitious, but deliverable. Expressed with compelling emotional language, which side-steps culture war divisions.
"Good growth is every postcode and hope in every heart" is an excellent phrase, which could work as the operational motto of an administration.
If done correctly, No.10 North could fix many problems with Downing Street. You need to avoid it becoming irrelevant by its distance from Whitehall. This is achievable by staffing it with large-scale complete teams (poss the entire policy and delivery units with the former working on coordination).
Very encouraging to hear Burnham rail against the whipping system, the pathologically adversarial culture of Westminster, the departmental silos, the suffocating centralisation of the British state. He gets it.
The instinctive reaction right now is lazy, sleep-walking cynicism, or sullen don't-give-me-hope despair. But the truth is: someone with very good communication skills, the right diagnosis and a reforming zeal is about to become prime minister. That seems pretty fucking encouraging to me.

Super Large Excellent Cremulator@spandex· Jul 1

Again, you're just factually wrong. Starmer was way more toxic. He won (with the help of Dunt and the rest of the press) because people hated the Tories more.

Super Large Excellent Cremulator@spandex· Jul 1

No, he strongly supported him from the start. People like Ian are where they are precisely because they're consistently and predictably wrong in the service of the status quo. It's neither "knee-jerk" nor cynical to have correctly identified these people as corrupt, right-wing authoritarians.

an Ian Dunt tweet from 22/02/2017 saying:

"Mandy being rather wonderful theguardian.com/politics/
2017/..."

The quote from Mandelson he's screenshotted says:

He added: "Why do you want to just walk away and pass the title deeds of this great party over to someone like Jeremy Corbyn? I don't want to, I resent it, and I work every single day in some small way to bring forward the end of his tenure in office.
"Something, however small it may be - an email, a phone call or a meeting I convene - every day I try to do something to save the Labour party from his leadership."

First, we've no idea if that Reform number is right. Second, come on people what's the matter with you. After 14 years of the most egregious reactionary horror, we're about to get one of the most progressive parliaments in history.
Everything changes now. Everything. Not just the policies, but much deeper
The values and the personalities of the people in charge will be entirely different. You might not like every position they adopt, but they will hold a bundle of decent, humane, tolerant progressive instincts which are completely opposed to what we've seen for the last decade.
Also: the dynamics. The Westminster system ignores the opposition but it has considerable influence to backbenchers on the government benches.
Even if they can't defeat the government, they can pressure it to change course.
How did the Brexit referendum happen? The bullshit over the ECHR. The constant equivocation over lockdown? Because of Tory backbenchers.
That dynamic is now going to reverse
Most importantly: a competent, serious man with integrity is about to become the most powerful person in the country. Thank god. Thank god alive for that.

Ian posting a Times article about Starmer from July 2nd 2024:

Think this gets Starmer spot on: 'He is someone with a left-wing instinct.
But he is also a pragmatist and deeply realistic. And this leads him again and again to temper his initial view.'

Super Large Excellent Cremulator@spandex· Jun 8

lol and indeed lmao

BBC article with headline "Ministers to issue guidance on children's screen use"

Super Large Excellent Cremulator@spandex· May 25

Back in 2011, before our daughter was born, we bought a book called "Yoga in Pregnancy" from a 2nd-hand book shop in York. It's mostly unremarkable, but every time a man appears in it (or is even mentioned in it) the previous owner had completely obliterated him using a black biro

A page of text on "16 to 34 weeks". It talks about how "movement, touch, breath and sound is of the greatest importance". Then there is a sentence that is HEAVILY scribbled out. You can't read a single letter of it.

A page which suggests "a comfortable position with your partner" and a picture of a pregnant woman sat with a man behind her and his hands coming round her and both of them resting their hands together on her pregnant belly. At least we presume it's a man - but every single millimetre of him has been furiously scribbled out in black biro.

In this yoga picture, it is suggested that the woman "ask your partner to sit on a bed or [etc]" and she is sat on the floor in front of him. He is once again completely obliterated in black biro. I think he might have a pony tail under all the scribbling.

Super Large Excellent Cremulator@spandex· May 8

vom-cat says "hi"

Siberian cat sat on my knee, wanting things (love and snacks) from me

Super Large Excellent Cremulator@spandex· Apr 29

please upload firmware

seal point siberian cat sat in a box, staring blankly at the camera

Super Large Excellent Cremulator@spandex· Apr 29

i am no longer able to enjoy the sunshine on my face without immediately checking my graphs

Graph showing the last 5 hours of grid consumption and export along with solar generation, battery usage and state of charge

Super Large Excellent Cremulator@spandex· Apr 5

good luck holding onto that seat

The simpsons meme with Principal Skinner. Captions altered to read "Am I out of touch? No, it's the electorate who are wrong."

Super Large Excellent Cremulator@spandex· Apr 3

Pleased to report that, after a very long dry spell, those nerds at the National Cyber Security Centre have finally “discovered some ass”

Super Large Excellent Cremulator@spandex· Mar 18

It’s alright for her, she’s planning to sleep the rest of the day

Siberian cat sitting happily in a window frame

Super Large Excellent Cremulator@spandex· Mar 5

it's important, imo, to understand that our govt are not trying to do good things and failing. they're extremists doing *exactly* what they want to do. they just thought they would continue to get away with it as evidence, please accept this picture of starmer clearly shitting his pants

Starmer meeting the Palestinian Ambassador and looking terrified

Super Large Excellent Cremulator@spandex· Mar 2

Decided to change my name to "Super Large Excellent Cremulator"

Screenshot from a BBC article about "Water Cremations" with a diagram of the process and text saying:

The process involves weighing the body, then heating it to 150C (300F) in a mixture of potassium hydroxide and water for up to 90 minutes.

This dissolves the body tissue, leaving only the bones - which are then rinsed at 120C, dried, and pulverised into a coarse powder using a machine called a cremulator.

Super Large Excellent Cremulator@spandex· Feb 28

critical support for the person finding new ways to keep this photo on the BBC front page

Super Large Excellent Cremulator@spandex· Feb 24

Good morning. It is now the time of year (after Feb halfterm) when it is ACTUAL DAYLIGHT when the alarm goes off (7am). Preeeeeeeeetty pretty good.

Super Large Excellent Cremulator@spandex· Feb 13

just found this screenie i took in 2018, when i was replying to top-tier dumbass Dan Hodges, who tweeted something about nuclear bombs being useful for "a rescue operation". very much the kind of thing where my wife would ask "are you making yourself laugh again?" and yes.. yes i was.

Dan Hodges tweeting about needing nukes in case the UK needs to undertake "a rescue operation, like Sierra Leone" and me then asking him "What if there are, like, 37 people who need rescuing but we've only got 35 rescue nukes left? What then?? Would you go there and do a rescue poo?"

then

"Sorry Dan, I've been drinking and I've just realised that doing a poo, no matter how big, won't rescue anyone. Discard the suggstion."

then 7 minutes later

"Dan. There's no such thing as a rescue poo. I made a mistake. Please acknowledge. Or I will worry you've gone to Syria to do a rescue poo. We can rescue them from here with rescue nukes. Repeat: do NOT go to Syria to do a rescue poo. It's not a thing."

Some time later I tweeted:

Oh god. I've just looked up "nuclear bombs" and now I feel REALLY silly! As if you'd need 35 nuclear bombs to rescue 35 people! I'm such a plum.
Wikipedia says you could rescue hundreds of thousands of people (and quite a lot of buildings and whatnot) with a single one.

Super Large Excellent Cremulator@spandex· Feb 9

Starmer looked like exactly the man for the job! Who could possibly have known that he wasn't actually going to improve things? He said he'd be great! And *checks notes* Ian Dunt said he'd be great! But "for whatever reason" this was somehow wrong?!? It's just so confusing. Maybe Ian Dunt can help.

Ian Dunt posts:

Ultimately a lot depends on the original question Starmer answered: Can you deliver competent government? Functioning public services, a decent economy, evidence-based long-term policy, an end to superficial quick-fix mindless bollocks and vacuous drama.

Starmer looked like exactly the man for that. Quite clearly, for whatever reason, he is not. Who else can convincingly lay out a plan for the original proposition?

Super Large Excellent Cremulator@spandex· Feb 7

Good day to everyone except people who leave these bogroll dispensers with it all rolled up inside so you have to spend 2 minutes rotating it and searching for the free end

Super Large Excellent Cremulator@spandex· Jan 29

just incredible. reading this, it's hard not to conclude that: a) we are governed by a parade of stupendous dumbasses and b) they think we're even stupider than they are

Pic of a gov.uk press release at https://www.gov.uk/government/news/uk-china-border-security-deal-to-help-disrupt-small-boat-supply-lines

Press release
UK-China border security deal to help disrupt small boat supply lines
People smuggling gangs will be dealt a further blow with the Prime Minister expected to launch a border security agreement with China to tackle the flow of Chinese made small boat parts.

Super Large Excellent Cremulator@spandex· Jan 26

e.g. here's a video from 2024 of Ian Dunt smugly dismissing the use of the word "genocide" to describe what is now widely accepted as a genocide i personally need ppl like this to address how/why they covered for obvious war crimes before i'm interested in their Very Clever Thoughts on other stuff

Super Large Excellent Cremulator@spandex· Jan 24

I remember how proud most of us were in Nottingham East after our no-confidence vote in Chris Leslie. There there were still some (good) people who thought it was a step too far… but then his post-parliament career was almost comically vindicating :)

Wikipedia article saying:

Life after parliament

In July 2020, Leslie was appointed chief executive of the Credit Services Association, the trade association of the UK debt collection and purchase industry

Super Large Excellent Cremulator@spandex· Jan 21

Trump doing his speech, with the caption "but eventually I got out of his headlock and now where are you, Father Eamonn Hunter??"

Super Large Excellent Cremulator@spandex· Jan 5

if this was satire it'd be pretty funny. but what is the worth of a "news" organisation that publishes absolute horseshit like this without caveat or criticism?

Super Large Excellent Cremulator@spandex· Nov 5

"what's the matter babe? you've hardly touched your Festival Zone Laundry Toilet Stairs"