Theciscokidder

@theciscokidder

Trying to make you laugh. Stay home dad. Left af. 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ he/him My fav posts Everyone else's fav posts

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Theciscokidder@theciscokidder· 19d

Lady bug and ant spotted on one of my sunflowers.

A close up of a leaf stem with long hairs of a sunflower. On it is a ladybug with its back turned and next to it is a black ant hanging on for dear life.

Theciscokidder@theciscokidder· 21d

A shelf cloud came to visit me today and honestly, way cooler than any human that has ever showed up uninvited.

Theciscokidder@theciscokidder· 25d

Caught Zelda plotting again.

A picture of my cat sitting at a desk, looking at the camera.

Theciscokidder@theciscokidder· 26d

We have security footage folks 😆

A grainy picture of a lady hugging me on the far side of my red truck.

Theciscokidder@theciscokidder· Jun 11

I think I have a few dozen 😆

A screenshot of some fart posts of mine that reads, "

Theciscokidder @theciscoki.. May

Replied to Peter B

Wow, that guy puts the art in fart!

Theciscokidder @theciscoki.. May 4, 2025 One time I had a fart so powerful, it influenced two nearby moms to do a poop check on their toddlers.

Theciscokidder @theciscok... Jan 15, 2025 It's with a heavy fart that I announce the changing of my underwear.

Theciscokidder @thecisco... Aug 28, 2023 Welcome to your 40's where rough sex is just holding in a fart until after you climax."

Theciscokidder@theciscokidder· Jun 9

Finally confirmed that we are actually in hell.

A picture of my TV screen with a movie that looks like Finding Nemo but is called Finding Jesus.

Theciscokidder@theciscokidder· Jun 7

🤣👊🍻

Theciscokidder@theciscokidder· Jun 7

I turn 51 this month and I decided that I'm not going out feeble. This is what a year of lifting and proper nutrition did for me 😁

A picture of me in the mirror in my workout room at home looking mid 😜

Theciscokidder@theciscokidder· May 30

Me: I'm going to have a nice relaxing weekend. My seasonal allergies:

A screenshot of Jason Bateman saying, "the fuck you are."

Theciscokidder@theciscokidder· May 24

Cora is doing a Dr. Evil 😂

Theciscokidder@theciscokidder· May 24

Could be blocked or people blocking you?

Wormhole Chicken Melt @wormhole4... 3d

OMG

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Cosmic Clau @cosmicclau.bsky.social 3d

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BethRHylton @bethrhylton.bsky.social 3d

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Holly Ross @hollyross.bsky.social

I cannot take it

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Tom Macy @tommymacyv.bsky.so... 3d

He's a charmer

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Theciscokidder @theciscokidder.bsky.. 3d He is!

Tom Macy @tommymacyv.bsky.so... 3d Your post shows 5 replies but I only see you and me. Does this happen to

Theciscokidder@theciscokidder· May 20

Baby bun bun in my yard trying to dry off after rain. The paw shaking! 😍

Theciscokidder@theciscokidder· May 11

Me, right before the nuke hits my city.

A screenshot of a female in a snuggie, laying on a couch with what seems to me, a psychotic grin on her face.

Theciscokidder@theciscokidder· May 4

Traded my gas guzzling truck in for this Ford Lightning last week and fuck me, it is fun to drive!

A picture of my new EV F-150 truck. It's dark red and parked in my garage looking nice and clean.

Theciscokidder@theciscokidder· May 2

Been busy y'all but I did a thing today 😀

A picture of me holding a beer and a half marathon medal. Underneath the pic is my race time of 2 hours and 4 mins.

Theciscokidder@theciscokidder· Apr 17

I'm in the balls, I better not get blown all over Texas

A screenshot of a weather map where the enhanced risk of several weather looks like a phallus.

Theciscokidder@theciscokidder· Apr 15

Helping my wife navigate her evening commute thru the power of radar and location sharing 😆

A screenshot of a text thread with my wife that reads like this.

Me: You'll be driving thru a severe thunderstorm warning just south of Hopefully you beat it. It's going to be close

Her: [sent a picture of a shelf cloud]

Me: Yikes, that's close!
According to my redneck calculations, you're going to beat it.

Her: 😆
Yeah, it's getting lighter out

Theciscokidder@theciscokidder· Apr 11

About an hour in 11 seconds this morning. Cool to see the moon rising on the right.

Theciscokidder@theciscokidder· Apr 10

Cora does not enjoy getting bathed but now she smells fruity! Bonus, if you zoom in on the reflection of my wife's thigh, you can see our cat Zelda on the other side of the glass 😆

A picture of my sad, wet dog looking back at the camera. She's mostly white with some black spots and one black ear. There's a reflection of my wife in the sliding glass door and you can barely see my cat on the other side.

Theciscokidder@theciscokidder· Apr 8

Dad dinner for me and the teen boy. Yeah I know it's boring but that's the point (preteen daughter would not participate).

A picture of two plates on a dining room table. One has apple slices, roasted asparagus with broccoli and baked chicken breast. The other plate is a salad with the same chicken breast on top.

Theciscokidder@theciscokidder· Apr 8

Wow, I didn't realize that people are so sensitive about pasta being rubbed on your asshole.

A list of 6 people that blocked me in one or two hours

Theciscokidder@theciscokidder· Apr 7

Sanity status:

A picture of my dog's toy that she destroyed. It's a severed duck head with no stuffing. It's sporting a blue bow tie and due to the lack of stuffing, it has quite the exasperated expression.

Theciscokidder@theciscokidder· Apr 6

I hope they find the factory reset for humanity back there today.

A picture of the moon taken at 6:06 this morning from my backyard.

Theciscokidder@theciscokidder· Apr 3

Nah bro, you misheard. They said the earth is FAT, not flat.

A picture of the earth from Artemus II. Photo Credit: NASA/Reid Wiseman

Theciscokidder@theciscokidder· Apr 3

Here's a timelapse taken over 45 mins this morning. Was hoping for a more dramatic sunrise but that cloud movement tho.

Theciscokidder@theciscokidder· Apr 2

Them: What's stopping you from making your bed everyday? Me:

A picture of a partially made bed with my cat Zelda sitting on the fitted sheet, not budging.

Theciscokidder@theciscokidder· Mar 28

When they tell you that the president could have just paid TSA this entire time.

A picture of my mostly white dog with one black ear and she has a bewildered look on her face.

Theciscokidder@theciscokidder· Mar 27

[David Attenborough voice] As the wild pancake warms itself in the morning sun, it is completely unaware that a human adolescent will eat it on a dare.

Theciscokidder@theciscokidder· Mar 26

Took a break from the sads this morning.

A picture at dawn of nice fluffy clouds that are orange on the bottom.

Theciscokidder@theciscokidder· Mar 22

When you skip intro but still have to watch the last 5 seconds of said intro.