Lady bug and ant spotted on one of my sunflowers.

A shelf cloud came to visit me today and honestly, way cooler than any human that has ever showed up uninvited.

Caught Zelda plotting again.

We have security footage folks 😆

I think I have a few dozen 😆

Finally confirmed that we are actually in hell.

🤣👊🍻

I turn 51 this month and I decided that I'm not going out feeble. This is what a year of lifting and proper nutrition did for me 😁

Me: I'm going to have a nice relaxing weekend. My seasonal allergies:

Cora is doing a Dr. Evil 😂

Could be blocked or people blocking you?

Baby bun bun in my yard trying to dry off after rain. The paw shaking! 😍

Me, right before the nuke hits my city.

Traded my gas guzzling truck in for this Ford Lightning last week and fuck me, it is fun to drive!

Been busy y'all but I did a thing today 😀

I'm in the balls, I better not get blown all over Texas

Helping my wife navigate her evening commute thru the power of radar and location sharing 😆

About an hour in 11 seconds this morning. Cool to see the moon rising on the right.

Cora does not enjoy getting bathed but now she smells fruity! Bonus, if you zoom in on the reflection of my wife's thigh, you can see our cat Zelda on the other side of the glass 😆

Dad dinner for me and the teen boy. Yeah I know it's boring but that's the point (preteen daughter would not participate).

Wow, I didn't realize that people are so sensitive about pasta being rubbed on your asshole.

Sanity status:

I hope they find the factory reset for humanity back there today.

Nah bro, you misheard. They said the earth is FAT, not flat.

Here's a timelapse taken over 45 mins this morning. Was hoping for a more dramatic sunrise but that cloud movement tho.

Them: What's stopping you from making your bed everyday? Me:

When they tell you that the president could have just paid TSA this entire time.

[David Attenborough voice] As the wild pancake warms itself in the morning sun, it is completely unaware that a human adolescent will eat it on a dare.

Took a break from the sads this morning.

When you skip intro but still have to watch the last 5 seconds of said intro.