Bryan Eagle

@bryaneagleshow

Amateur cat therapist, professional film school graduate, unprofessional film watcher. Maintaining my amateur critic position to make sure I can compete in the 2027 Olympics #RestoreTheSchumacherverse

311 Siguiendo399 Seguidores1732 Publicaciones

Bluesky

amateur

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Bryan Eagle@bryaneagleshow· Jul 7

Finally watched the 1997 James Bond film “Tomorrow Never Dies.” The villain is a billionaire media guy & that’s as lame as it sounds, but it does have Michelle Yeoh as a Chinese secret agent and her Shanghai Batcave beats anything Bond has

Bryan Eagle@bryaneagleshow· Jul 4

When @thescarby.bsky.social sends me the latest news there’s been a schism

Imagine of Nightcrawler from X-Men 97. You know the elvish looking but guy with pointy ears, glowing eyes, and some kind of coiffed pompadour situation up there. Also famously a Catholic superhero. He’s clutching a rosary. Cut and paste meme text reads “In the name of the father, the son, and the holy shit are you kidding me right now…?”

Bryan Eagle@bryaneagleshow· Jul 1

Time to remind everyone of an ancient Klingon saying:

Worf on the bridge in Star Trek The Next Generation. Arms crossed, looking stern. Caption reads “today is a good day to punch a Nazi”

Bryan Eagle@bryaneagleshow· Jun 30

Schism! Schism! Schism!

Bryan Eagle@bryaneagleshow· Jun 30

I think the Supreme Court should suck a bag of dick.

That Norman Rockwell painting of the guy doing the thing. You know, standing up at PTA meeting or some shit to say an unpopular, radical, but morally justified position. Like “we shouldn’t diddle kids” or “no the shirt raises more questions than it answers, asshole”

Bryan Eagle@bryaneagleshow· Jun 30

Can we cool it with the cryptic, you would not believe the day I’ve had

Bryan Eagle@bryaneagleshow· Jun 29

If someone refuses to eat the garlic bread, I know what I must do

Peter Cushing as Abraham Van Helsing, vampire hunter, standing over an open coffin, wooden stake in his left hand, mallet in his right, raised and ready to slay a vampire

Bryan Eagle@bryaneagleshow· Jun 26

LOOK AT THE PUPPY

A cut black lab puppy laying on the floor, eyes scrunched closed in a nap, MOTHERFUCKING ADORABLE

Bryan Eagle@bryaneagleshow· Jun 18

Apparently I misunderstood my wife, “enthusiastic” was his personality in general. Not specific to the subject matter

Screenshot of text exchange with my wife. She says “Brian the very enthusiastic podiatrist is here today 😂” I reply with a gif of academy award winning director & poorly concealed foot fetishist Quentin Tarantino. My wife replies with “not that enthusiastic”

Bryan Eagle@bryaneagleshow· Jun 18

Egon, we know this is you

Two sequential shots from the film Ghostbusters. Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, and Harold Ramos walking through the NY Public library. Murray’s character says “Egon, this reminds me of the time you tried to drill a hole through your head. You remember that?” Ramis’ Egon replied “that would have worked if you hadn’t stopped me”

Bryan Eagle@bryaneagleshow· Jun 17

If you see this, we IMPLORE YOU to post a picture from whatever device you're using without explanation.

Picture of actor Don Davis being interviewed. Portly bald White man. Looking in the middle distance, facing a hard truth…with the subtitle “all because of a fart”

Bryan Eagle@bryaneagleshow· Jun 6

Cooly sketched in black and white comic-strip style panel depicting a middle aged man saying “May his grave never be free of piss”

Bryan Eagle@bryaneagleshow· Jun 5

…who are about to be roped in One. Last. Mission.

Still from The Expendables 2. Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis, being old geezers firing machine guns like it’s their Reagan-era monocultural action star apex

Bryan Eagle@bryaneagleshow· Jun 5

Freddy Purrcury has discovered my 70s era X-Men figures and is entranced

Picture of a tuxedo cat, from behind, as he gazes, transfixed, at a display of X-Men action figures in a glass cabinet

Bryan Eagle@bryaneagleshow· Jun 4

In a desperate move to stop the mad president’s dream of nuclear war with Iran, a small band of Senators have given convict Snake Plissken 48 hours to sneak into Washington DC, assassinate the president, & escape in exchange for his freedom. The only problem: 👇

Kurt Russell as Snake Plissken in Escape From New York. 70s mullet, leather jacket, eye patch, sitting in a chair with captioning that reads “I don’t give a fuck about your war or your president”

Bryan Eagle@bryaneagleshow· Jun 3

Show me a picture that captures your essence

$Picture of Cary Grant from the film Arsenic and Old Lace. He’s sitting on a chest, hair a mess, suit kinda rumpled… the man looks like he’s just gazed into the abyss & is trying to reassemble the fractured remains of his sanity, but in a frantic, comedic way$

Bryan Eagle@bryaneagleshow· May 28

Obama totally fucking called it in the Correspondents Dinner roast & I don’t think satire becoming reality is healthy for the human brain

Shot of a doctored photo from President Obama’s 2011 (or 2012?) White House correspondents dinner where he mocked the idea of Trump as president by showing the White House cartoonishly expanded upon architecturally to look like one of Trumps gaudy casinos. Neon pink letters dub it the “Trump White House” with other text on the building calling it a “presidential suite and casino.” The famous columns are painting gold, a gaudy chandelier visible behind them. In the fountain women in bikinis lounge like it is mar a lago

Bryan Eagle@bryaneagleshow· May 24

This is it. Best fan-generated episode tittle card. We have a winner. We can all go home now. How I wish I had made this #StarTrek

Screenshot of the USS Enterprise from Star Trek: The Next Generation, as it orbits a planet. It’s the standard establishing shot at the beginning of every episode, where the title comes up at the beginning. This title, built by a fan from a text generator, says “LGBT…Q?” Which is fucking HILARIOUS bc there’s a character named Q and let’s be honest, he’s a “theater kid” in the most literal and most innuendo filled ways

Bryan Eagle@bryaneagleshow· May 4

More #StarTrek: Deep Space Nine rewatch thoughts. Gul Dukat is such a fascinating character because at first he seems like a bastard; then you realize that’s his outer layer, under that is an even bigger bastard; but peel THAT back & at his center is pure bastard filling. Dr Cox sums it up best:

Bryan Eagle@bryaneagleshow· May 1

I haven’t finalized all the poses but finally I have 100% of the original X-Force lineup from 91-92 as figures and out in a single display. Eight year old me is so fucking happy with this #XMen #MarvelLegends #Toycollector

Picture of a bookshelf with action figures displayed. They are all superhero action figures from the comic book X-Force from 1991. They are colorful, there are 10 of them, but that’s a lot to describe. So imagine 90s comic book aesthetics cranked to the max for some really vibrant, out there Marvel superhero toys. If this alt text leaves something to be desired, comment and I’ll dive into deep detail

Bryan Eagle@bryaneagleshow· Apr 29

Screenshot of Dr Robby from the Pitt: a bearded middle aged man in black medical scrubs strolling through the hospital Emergency Deparment, in conversation with someone off camera, his dialogue in closed caption reading “my account was suspended for erotically seditious content”

Bryan Eagle@bryaneagleshow· Apr 15

Finally ran down a Colossus and even better Iceman (accessories!!) so my collection of the X-Men Gold Team from the 90s looks even better! Now to make the display look cool with bitchin’ poses #MarvelLegends #actionfigures

Shelf of collectible action figures. They are off the X-Men circa 1992. Characters depicted from left to right: Jean Grey, Forge, Iceman, Bishop, Archangel, Storm. Colossus and Iceman are the focus point for this post. Colossus is a giant muscular man made of metal. Iceman is a slender guy, translucent because he’s made of ice, with ice accessories coming from his hands that look like he’s making lots of ice from his hands

Bryan Eagle@bryaneagleshow· Apr 15

I’m sorry why are they calling marathon film watching “moviemaxxing” when “Cinemaxxing” was right there??

Screenshot of an urban dictionary entry for “moviemaxxing” that defines it as: Devoting a prolonged period of time (usually months or years) to watching as many movies as possible, usually as a means of catching up with pop culture or educating oneself about film in general

Bryan Eagle@bryaneagleshow· Apr 13

If you see this, post something you saved because it's funny.

Screenshot of some instagram review of Burn After Reading, with an image of gym manager Richard Jenkins in the film and this text: No one takes more joy in remorselessly abusing their characters than Joel and Ethan Coen and when their remorseless gaze turns to sad sack Richard Jenkins you can bet he's about to follow his withered libido into the farthest depths of a cheesecake-reeking abyss.

Bryan Eagle@bryaneagleshow· Apr 11

And X-Factor really is a revival series of the original X-Men team. Sorry I just find the career trajectory of former teenage superheroes turned B-list adults to be hilariously similar to B-list TV careers and it makes me chuckle

Cover of the Marvel comic X-Factor issue 1 from 1985. The five original X-Men (Cyclops, Marvel Girl, Beast, Angel, Iceman) are running dramatically and using their powers dramatically. Text above the title indicates it’s a fan-driven revival of the original X-Team. So it’s like that ad for new episodes of a show canceled 10 years ago but the old cast is back

Bryan Eagle@bryaneagleshow· Apr 8

The show did raise some important questions about ICE, such as Dana’s below

Still from the Pitt. Nurse Dana is talking, asking the question in subtitles “Can’t we just tell the agents to fuck off?”

Bryan Eagle@bryaneagleshow· Apr 3

Media: “Christofascists are anti-Catholic?” Me, a Catholic astronaut with a hand gun: “Always have been”

That pic of astronauts. Ones looking at earth, the other has a gun to the guys head

Bryan Eagle@bryaneagleshow· Mar 30

I hope the renewed interest in heists brings back the gentleman bastard. Our society sorely needs a charming scoundrel leaving behind him a trail of satisfied lovers & multi-million dollar insurance claims

Bryan Eagle@bryaneagleshow· Mar 11

when did your obsession with hot toxic women begin?

Comic panel from X-Men of Madeline Pryor, the Goblin Queen. Red hair flowing, tattered black cape, thigh high boots, torn loincloth, exposed thighs, stomach, and underboob. She’s flanked by demons but that’s not important here. She looks like a dominatrix from hell (complementary)
I’m

Bryan Eagle@bryaneagleshow· Mar 9

My wife saw the costume Madelyne Pryor aka The Goblin Queen wears in X-Men: Inferno & she had questions. I was like, “no it’s not sexist that’s a unisex costume” & showed her how Havok wears the exact same outfit in that run & now my wife has one question and it’s “WTF was going on in 80s X-Men?”