Jeffrey Yosephus Dorchen
@jdorchen
essayist, fiction writer, other kind of writer, food preparer and eater, illustration guy, sickened unto death by the folly of humanity, nevertheless astonished by the cosmic myriad
sic semper tyrannis Happy 30th anniversary, This Is Hell! and @chuckmertz.bsky.social
Great. Happy breakfasting. Thanks, Obama. Or Mamdani. This is what sharia socialism gets you. Eh, that was last week. We've moved on to diarrhea lettuce.
Wish I was in London Or some other seafood town I'd stuff my face with bouillabaisse And eat that seafood down
Starbucks CEO Brian Niccol is, as the kids today say, a jive turkey. I recommend him to The Guillotine Brothers street haircut service.
It's also the 115th birthday of Comet, subject of one of the top hits of kids. Comet It makes your teeth turn green Comet It tastes like gasoline Comet It makes you vomit So get some Comet And vomit Today To the tune of the Colonel Bogey March AKA The Bridge on the River Kwai song
Worth becoming a paid subscriber if you like rants that offer no real new information!
I dub this latest administration of white supremacist incompetents and the base who identify with them: Goobermenschen. Spell it as you wish.
The food and beer I'm enjoying while listening to Molly Crabapple talk about the Jewish Bund. Spicy Moroccan sardines and scallions on TJ's European grain and seed bread, with a beer blend of Founders's Dirty Bastard and Solid Gold Premium Lager in a handblown glass. Appropriate or what?
Can we amend the constitution to stipulate that no more fucking tender-testicled mentally decrepit sociopathic kleptomaniacal rapist convicted felons are allowed to try to run the country?
Monkey Christ Super Chimp Are you a god or an evil imp? Monkey Christ Superstar Driving around in a mini-car
The man with the Merde-Ass Touch strikes again. What a stink-fingered dolt. POS can't do anything right.
No disrespect intended, but I wouldn't be "American" if I didn't ask myself and everyone else at this time of year (tax time!), "Do you think, in hindsight, from a fiduciary perspective, Jesus played his cards right?" image: Roman soldiers gambling for Jesus' cloak (jesusinbible.com)
Who asked for you? No one. No one asked for that free U2 album that popped up like a zit on everyone's app and no one asked for Manus. Manus the Anus. I already have one! A real one. It's called Egbert and it works just fine, thanks.
He might as well wipe his ass on all our money. Talk about devaluing the dollar. At least he didn't go with his initial plan of breading and deep-frying all US currency.
I'm selling a rat feces supplement. It cures neuritis, neuralgia, nephritis and nostalgia and has been shown in rats to relieve bowel pressure.
The right is bad at memes. This could be a good criterion for euthanasia. Along with class-enemy status
Quote from ?: "The people who needed their own halftime show are the same people who needed their own water fountains."