Checked into surgery. About to get this done. Glad to finally be doing it!

Omg how have a never heard the Hayley Stevens “I SEE ISRAEL IN MY DREEEEEAMS” sound byte holy moly

Or my dream vcr

MY DUDE!!!

How your email finds me:

Breaking all the rules

Nothing means anything anymore

Jesus Christ did Eric Bischoff book this shit??

No YOU just stayed up to 3am playing Tiny Harvest

Keith Hernandez should never be allowed a quiet, peaceful day in public for the rest of his fucking life

The cactus trimmings our friend gave us are now sprouting little cactus wangs

Guess who appeared on the syndicated live action Night Man series based on the Malibu Ultraverse comic!

Brooke Shields doing some extremely cool shit with her fame and money! Fuck Stone & Parker.

I spent a solid portion of the past few days dressed in what I now realize is OtisCore

I c e c o l d b e e r San Diego, C a l i f o r n i a

Kinda want this Subaru Kei Van for driving the dogs around

IT’S HERE

AS FORETOLD IN THE SACRED TEXTS!!

I got four words for ya: MOVIE THEATER CHILI DOG

Y’all know you’re eventually getting this fucking guy as Prime Minister, right?

Oh, Myrna Loy…

Finally getting around to watching Thunderbolts* and wasn’t ready for this to basically be The Sentry

Salami fans squad up and represent

A pair of my favorite stupid jackass 1992 GI Joes. Outback may or may not be a war criminal, but I’m not sure where the line worker gear comes into it. Bazooka meanwhile just misses fishing because he spends all his time driving a tank, apparently.

So come on down to SIMPLOT, we got miles and miles of simps to meet all your simping needs!