Kyle Thele

@thele

SB Nation, Vox Media Union. Formerly Chicago Sun-Times/Chicago Bears

769 Folgt1.656 Follower1.745 Posts

Ist das dein Profil?Übernimm es — dann gehört dir thele.dirty.social.Profil übernehmen

This is an aggressively stupid post that confuses the “shut up and dribble” crowd with the “your opinion is stupid and I’m going to tell you why” crowd. They are, in actuality, wildly different feelings to have.

Kyle Thele@thele· 8d

This is all I could see every time Woodford got the ball back and looked off into space.

Tucker Carlson looking confused, likely unable to tell if it was just a fart.

Kyle Thele@thele· 20d

Yesterday we had to say goodbye to our dog Ham. Today has sucked, so excuse me while I post a bunch of pictures of my buddy.

Kyle Thele@thele· 23d

Whoever schedules out the @chicagotribune.com sports posts here is consistently a day off. All gamers are posted more than a day late and previews like this come out after the game was played.

Kyle Thele@thele· 27d

Caleb Wilson, Caleb Williams, PCA.

Michael Jordan, Walter Payton, and Andre Dawson pose for a "class picture" on the Chicago Times cover with the headline "Class For All Seasons"

Kyle Thele@thele· Jul 10

Doing something new in the lead up to the NFL season. Putting together a fan-built expectations vs. predictions grid. www.sbnation.com/nfl/post/Hg1...

Kyle Thele@thele· Jul 7

Michael J. Fox as Marty McFly in Back to the Future III dressed as a cowboy.

Kyle Thele@thele· Jul 2

EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA FOR OVER A MONTH! At that point I think I'd rather fully explode.

"The main symptom of cyclosporiasis is severe, watery “explosive” diarrhea.

People who get infected may also experience appetite loss, stomach cramps, nausea, vomiting and a low-grade fever, according to the Cleveland Clinic.

Cyclosporiasis can last for a few days to over a month or longer. Symptoms may come in waves, and return more than once after going away, also known as “relapses,” per the CDC."

Kyle Thele@thele· Jul 1

Kyle Thele@thele· Jun 30

Kyle Thele@thele· Jun 29

Preparing just in case.

Kyle Thele@thele· Jun 25

I couldn’t make it through the very first award before the ESPYS made a fool of itself. Matthew Stafford is a great QB, but he’s not even the best QB in the league, definitely not the best player overall. And miles from the best athlete. And his team didn’t win shit. What the hell are we doing here?

“The 2026 ESPYS Nominees

Best Athlete, Men’s Sports

-Jalen Brunson, New York Knicks
-Lionel Messi, Inter Miami CF
-Shohei Ohtani, Los Angeles Dodgers
-Matthew Stafford, Los Angeles Rams”

Kyle Thele@thele· Jun 24

Saving for future use.

Cabinet Carl holding a handwritten sign that reads "Kyle is smart Be like Kyle" with a smiley face.

Kyle Thele@thele· Jun 8

Philadelphia could pull this off. But I guess New York City might not be as good as Philly...

An image from The Simpson's Monorail episode.

Kyle Thele@thele· Jun 3

Kyle Thele@thele· Jun 2

Poetry. Thanks, Gary

An email thumbnail of an elderly white man named Gary, with the message:

Spurs

I hope

Gary

Kyle Thele@thele· May 15

Listen if the Cubs were going to beat any NFL franchise it would probably be the Saints. But I just don’t like needing California guys like PCA to find a way to win in Detroit in November.

The chyron on Marquee Network mistakenly having the Cubs play the Saints and Lions instead of the Bears.

Kyle Thele@thele· May 15

This is the first person I’ve wanted to seek out on social media to yell at for being so ridiculously wrong headed.

An unknown person who is the worst person you’d ever be stuck in a conversation with at a pretentious party explaining why the government shouldn’t get diapers for babies.

Kyle Thele@thele· Apr 26

I wasn’t planning on eating them anyway. But this is some news you can use. No word on if it’s ok for non-dog owners

A picture of a dog with the chyron “DOG OWNERS WARNES TO NOT EAT TULIPS”

Kyle Thele@thele· Apr 26

Kyle Thele@thele· Apr 25

Your Chicago Cubs

Kyle Thele@thele· Apr 24

$1 per player per year that MSU had an NFL QB take a snap during the unbroken streak from 2000-2015. But sent to PTK, because what the hell is MSU football doing right now. -Smoker -Stanton -Hoyer -Foles -Cousins -Cook @edsbs.bsky.social @hollyanderson.bsky.social @protecttranskids.university

Kyle Thele@thele· Apr 14

I love baseball fans so much.

An email responding to a survey reading:
"The entire ABS system should be immediately and permanently scrapped. Instead, employ a 3-dimensional strike zone for every hitter, which is the strike zone the rules of MLB dictate (not the stupid 2-dimensional zone ABS now uses), and let the new system call whether or not every pitch enters the strike zone. That way, every strike will be called a strike, and every ball will be called a ball, as it should be (excepting of course those very limited situations where an actual umpire will have to determine whether there was a swing, a check swing, a hit-by-pitch, etc.). Who can fairly complain if the call is correct EVERY TIME? Players, managers, and fans deserve nothing less, and with present technology, the call can be made immediately on a scoreboard after every pitch. You’d have no delays, and no arguments. Everyone gets rewarded for perfection."

Kyle Thele@thele· Apr 2

I’m trying Jennifer

Kyle Thele@thele· Apr 1

I love this article so much

"Freshman kinesiology major Troy Fox was one of the first to test his luck against the group of Spartans that once boasted the nation's No. 1 defense. Severely undersized, he gave it his all and said it was fun trying to get past the players. Having fun was the focus for Fox, who was drenched in sweat by the end of the game."

Kyle Thele@thele· Mar 24

2011: The movie Moneyball is released, documenting the 2002 Oakland Athletics who built a team out of castoffs and scraps with a forward thinking front office that had absolutely no investment from ownership and still managed to win games. 3/

Kyle Thele@thele· Mar 24

1989: The movie Major League is released about a baseball team with comically cheap ownership that finds a way to put together the pieces of oddball talent and wins anyway. Those cheap castoffs beat the highly paid superstars. 2/

A still from the 1989 movie 'Major League' featuring three Cleveland coaches and one member of the front office.

Kyle Thele@thele· Mar 24

I'm starting to piece together a wild, decades long conspiracy theory involving baseball and the motion pictures industry. Follow me down this rabbit hole... 🧵 1/x