Your Friendly Neighborhood Auditor

@celticwnb

he/him. likes taking long walks and not getting hit by cars. occasionally funny. eclectic mix of politics/public policy, auditing, nerdery, and shitposting.

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Your Friendly Neighborhood Auditor@celticwnb· 11d

Ask instead what a 15-year-old is missing before he picks up a gun. Perhaps, housing. Perhaps, food security. Maybe a brain that childhood hunger hasn't shortchanged. Ask why Washington still permits an adult to leave a firearm unsecured, while no teenager can buy one over a counter, which means, every time a teen is armed someone older has failed to keep it locked away. Ask why a city can argue for months over whether hungry children deserve a free lunch, and never once argue that long over another platoon of officers whose presence would not have stopped two people who knew each other from drawing on one another in a crowd.

Your Friendly Neighborhood Auditor@celticwnb· 11d

I cannot pretend to witness what is now happening, because I have watched it happen before. Within a day of the shooting, a crowded field of corporate media and investment-banker Substackers, few of whom have spent an afternoon in a violence-interruption meeting or read a page of criminology, will have already found in three fresh bodies the confirmation of whatever they believed on Saturday morning: a depleted police force, a soft-on-crime council, and a city that "stopped enforcing the law." Read, watch, or listen to this commentary closely and you will find the old sorting logic underneath them, dressed now in the language of spontaneous concern — that a city grows dangerous when it stops punishing the poor for being poor. This argument was written before the shots were fired. The shooting was simply the occasion for publishing it.

Here is what that argument requires you to forget. Homicides in this city are down 31% this year. June was the first homicide-free June in six decades. Overdoses have fallen by a third since 2023, yet the notorious "open air drug markets" remain. What changed was wider access to treatment and overdose-reversal medication. Public health has never argued that criminalizing addiction saves lives; the evidence runs the other way, showing that scattering people from familiar dealers into an unfamiliar, more contaminated supply gets more of them killed, not fewer. None of this fits the sermon about lawlessness. So the sermon simply omits it.

Your Friendly Neighborhood Auditor@celticwnb· 17d

Post a perfect album from the 90s

The album cover of "Bad Hair Day" by "Weird Al" Yankovic. Weird Al is wearing a pinstriped suit with his signature glasses and mustache, but his hair is in tight braids that stick out in all directions. He holds a black fedora in his right hand. His expression is one of shock.

Your Friendly Neighborhood Auditor@celticwnb· 17d

No notes

A bumper sticker that says “I’d rather be riding public transit”

Your Friendly Neighborhood Auditor@celticwnb· 28d

“No one cycles in South Seattle”

Multiple bicycles parked in the shade for the Columbia City Farmers Market

Your Friendly Neighborhood Auditor@celticwnb· Jul 14

A picture of actress Jane Lynch in the TV show Glee, with text at top saying "Seattle Times" and text at bottom saying "I am going to create a post that is so ratioed"

Your Friendly Neighborhood Auditor@celticwnb· Jul 12

Public libraries and @thewaroncars.bsky.social, I challenge you to name a better combo!

“Life After Cars: Freeing Ourselves from the Tyranny of the Automobile” by Sarah Goodyear, Doug Gordon, and Aaron Naparstek. The book is bound in plastic library wrap.

Your Friendly Neighborhood Auditor@celticwnb· Jul 10

My nose when I wake up in the morning

The muppet Snuffleupagus from Sesame Street, with the caption "every day I'm snufflin"

Your Friendly Neighborhood Auditor@celticwnb· Jul 8

A cartoon meme. The top panel has two buttons. One is titled "distract angry voters by railing against communism." The other is titled "distract angry voters by doing a communism." A white-gloved hand is pressing both buttons simultaneously. In the bottom panel, a cartoon man in a red shirt gives a thumb's up. The panel is captioned "Trump."

Your Friendly Neighborhood Auditor@celticwnb· Jul 5

Also the US

A picture of Andre the Giant playing the role of Fezzik in the movie The Princess Bride, holding a large rock with the caption ”I don’t even exercise”

Your Friendly Neighborhood Auditor@celticwnb· Jul 5

@alyankovic.bsky.social showing up in the WaPo Sunday crossword today!

17 Down: Humorous film that describes a television state job like this: "It's just like working in a fish market, except you don't have to clean and gut fish all day"

Your Friendly Neighborhood Auditor@celticwnb· Jul 4

Probably not true, but it’s a good bit #goms #SeattleMariners @tworsandtwols.bsky.social

A man I’m an AL jersey holds a sign that reads “Fahrenheit is Superior”

Your Friendly Neighborhood Auditor@celticwnb· Jul 4

Good choices made #goms #SeattleMariners

Your Friendly Neighborhood Auditor@celticwnb· Jul 4

Up 5 to 0 vibes #goms #SeattleMariners @tworsandtwols.bsky.social

Your Friendly Neighborhood Auditor@celticwnb· Jun 28

Inaugural outing with my new bike! One hour to get down to LWB, ride the full length, and get back home. Evidently there’s some sort of festival going on today at Seward Park? Very grateful for the pedal assist going back up S Alaska St.

A man wearing a red bicycle helmet in front of Lake Washington with either Mercer Island or Seward Park in the distant background.

An Electra Townie Go! bicycle with grey frame and brown trim

Your Friendly Neighborhood Auditor@celticwnb· Jun 17

A picture of two police detectives showing their badges with the caption "MATHNET"

Your Friendly Neighborhood Auditor@celticwnb· Apr 24

@cmeddielin.bsky.social @mayorofseattle.bsky.social @seattledot.bsky.social We need automated red light and speed enforcement on MLK. This kind of driver behavior happens daily and is incredibly dangerous to pedestrians and other road users at this @sound-transit.bsky.social station. (1/n)

Picture of a car that has pulled past the crosswalk on a left turn lane stopped for a red light. Location is MLK at S Alaska in Seattle. The light rail passes in the background.

Your Friendly Neighborhood Auditor@celticwnb· Apr 21

Photo didn’t load properly

Picture of an intersection with multiple emergency vehicles in the distance

Your Friendly Neighborhood Auditor@celticwnb· Apr 6

Bikes are for all critters big and small

Picture of a child’s balance bike with a stuffed reindeer tied to the handlebars

Your Friendly Neighborhood Auditor@celticwnb· Apr 2

Doing pretty much any work given ** gestures vaguely ** feels like this

Picture of a grumpy looking bald eagle walking along a shoreline. Text caption reads: "going to my stupid little job so i can pay for my stupid little basic needs"

Your Friendly Neighborhood Auditor@celticwnb· Mar 26

Gonna just stare at the wall for a bit, y'all 😶

"It's more than a sauce station": Muckleshoot Casino has a Heinz REMIX machine, a "game-changing flavor experience" that allows people to make fucked-up sauces. Tongue explorers can add up to two "flavor enhancers" -- jalapeno, chipotle, buffalo, garlic, honey, or bacon -- at three levels of intensity to bases of ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise, barbecue, ranch, smoked barbeque, and honey mustard. Sounds unclean."

Your Friendly Neighborhood Auditor@celticwnb· Mar 17

Picture with text:
"What's going on?
[] It's annoying or not interesting
[*] I'm in this photo and I don't like it
[] I think it shouldn't be on Facebook
[] It's spam"

Your Friendly Neighborhood Auditor@celticwnb· Mar 15

search your camera roll for hell

Picture of a massive black truck that has careened at high speed off of MLK Way in Seattle and crashed into an apartment building, taking out vegetation and a light post in the median. People mill around and try to get past it on the sidewalk. Pieces of the vehicle and the light post lie on the sidewalk in the foreground.

Your Friendly Neighborhood Auditor@celticwnb· Mar 4

@cmeddielin.bsky.social @councilmember-amr.bsky.social @mayorofseattle.bsky.social @girmayzahilay.bsky.social This signal misalignment at MLK and Alaska/Oregon delays the light rail daily. What are @seattledot.bsky.social and @sound-transit.bsky.social doing to coordinate?

Your Friendly Neighborhood Auditor@celticwnb· Feb 25

May I also submit: the Paul Bunyan statue at Trees of Mystery in Klamath, CA

A picture of statues of Paul Bunyan and Babe the Blue Ox

Your Friendly Neighborhood Auditor@celticwnb· Feb 11

Nice to see this work updating the sidewalk infrastructure at Rainier Ave S and S Oregon St, but, uh…why is the ADA camp pointed diagonally across the intersection?

Picture of new concrete laid for the sidewalk and ADA ramp at the intersection of Rainier Ave S and S Oregon St. The ADA ramp appears to be pointed diagonally across the intersection rather than directly across. A Domino’s Pizza is visible in the background.

Your Friendly Neighborhood Auditor@celticwnb· Nov 9

The Station at Columbia City now makes my favorite breakfast sandwich, since Bang Bang Kitchen doesn’t do its breakfast torta anymore.

A breakfast sandwich on an English muffin. Visible are egg, cheese, and an ungodly pile of bacon.

Your Friendly Neighborhood Auditor@celticwnb· Oct 23

🎶 And we will walk down to 🎶

Your Friendly Neighborhood Auditor@celticwnb· Oct 22

Without downloading new pics, what is it like dating you?

Picture of a slide show with the text “be nice even if it is useless”

Your Friendly Neighborhood Auditor@celticwnb· Oct 22

@finchfrii.bsky.social here come the mailers! Eddie Lin sure likes fold outs!